[QLP]

I am sooo sorry this has happened to you.

Please don't beat yourself up about the fact that you didn't see it coming, I don't think many people would have, it's not like you were tripping over clues before the bombshell dropped.

I have no idea what is going on in this guy's head. His behaviour has been absolutely appalling.

The only thing I would say though, if he does in any way get his act together and try to form a relationship with his child, please consider letting him do so. Not because the jerk deserves it but because you don't want to be the one being accused in the future of keeping your child from knowing his/her father, distinctly lacking though he might be. However, you have every right to make sure that relationship is on your terms if it does materialise.

Sending him a vitual kick in the nuts on your behalf.

Hugs to you. Xx

[aimee_tt]

Hmm wouldn't it be nice for you to take a walk past their home when your pretty pregnant!

Surely they will put two and two together!

[Kitkat22]

WE'll be here for you. You got to let us know when you know what sex it is! We can all help you pick names... YES!

[Enigma1999]

I am sooo sorry this has happened to you.

Please don't beat yourself up about the fact that you didn't see it coming, I don't think many people would have, it's not like you were tripping over clues before the bombshell dropped.

I have no idea what is going on in this guy's head. His behaviour has been absolutely appalling.

The only thing I would say though, if he does in any way get his act together and try to form a relationship with his child, please consider letting him do so. Not because the jerk deserves it but because you don't want to be the one being accused in the future of keeping your child from knowing his/her father, distinctly lacking though he might be. However, you have every right to make sure that relationship is on your terms if it does materialise.

Sending him a vitual kick in the nuts on your behalf.

Hugs to you. xx

You are absolutley correct! I would never with hold anything from this child, and if Mark actually decides to be a man about it and wants to have a relationship with this child, then your wish is my command.

Because that's what I would like to happen... In a perfect world, I would like this child to have two active parents in his/her life. That's what I had told Mark from the beginning. "You don't have to marry me, or even be with me, just love this child and be in his/her life and that will mean the world to me and this child." I can understand failed relationships (even though I am unsure how I failed) however, now that this baby is on the way, buck up, be a man, and take responsibilities and do it!

When the going get tough, the tough get going... not run away!

[Kitkat22]

You are absolutley correct! I would never with hold anything from this child, and if Mark actually decides to be a man about it and wants to have a relationship with this child, then your wish is my command.

Because that's what I would like to happen... In a perfect world, I would like this child to have two active parents in his/her life. That's what I had told Mark from the beginning. "You don't have to marry me, or even be with me, just love this child and be in his/her life and that will mean the world to me and this child." I can understand failed relationships (even though I am unsure how I failed) however, now that this baby is on the way, buck up, be a man, and take responsibilities and do it!

When the going get tough, the tough get going.... not run away!

Has he even tried to get back together and if he does what do you think you would do? I know right now you're angry and you don't have to answer. I guess the abortion part would have done it for me.. Kit

[Enigma1999]

Has he even tried to get back together and if he does what do you think you would do? I know right now you're angry and you don't have to answer. I guess the abortion part would have done it for me.. Kit

Well see, Mark did text almost every day at first asking how I feel and so on and so forth. I did tell him that I would be more than happy to talk to him, just call me, not text. This texting stuff is so impersonal. He was OK with that. We got together a few times. Things were OK. He did ask if we could pick up where we left off. I told him that I wasn't ready. He understood.

Then after I said that, he tried to make a move on me... Needless to say I shot him down. ESPECIALLY after I learned that while we were apart, he slept with his ex wife.

After he told me that, I just put my head in my hands and shaking my head in disbelief. I think I may have vomited a little in my mouth, can't quite remember. He even had the audacity to say to me, "It was a moment of weakness, I was drunk, I wish it would have been with you." I said, " Oh that's cheap!" He then said, "You must hate me?" I said, "Hate you?? No, I just have NO respect for you!"

So after all of that, I kept our partnership or what have you strictly about the baby and nothing else. I think that that may have bothered him. DON'T CARE!

You know what's really sad, is that my heart goes out to his exwife... I mean, come on, how misleading was that and selfish of him to do that to her.


So back to your question Kit... Would I ever consider... ummm NO WAY! Why would I?

[Kitkat22]

Well see, Mark did text almost every day at first asking how I feel and so on and so forth. I did tell him that I would be more than happy to talk to him, just call me, not text. This texting stuff is so impersonal. He was ok with that. We got together a few times. Things were ok. He did ask if we could pick up where we left off. I told him that I wasn't ready. He understood.

Then after I said that, he tried to make a move on me..... Needless to say I shot him down. ESPECIALLY after I learned that while we were apart, he slept with his ex wife.

After he told me that, I just put my head in my hands and shaking my head in disbelief. I think I may have vomited a little in my mouth, can't quite remember. He even had the audacity to say to me, "It was a moment of weakness, I was drunk, I wish it would have been with you." I said, " Oh that's cheap!" He then said, "You must hate me?" I said, "Hate you?? No, I just have NO respect for you!"

So after all of that, I kept our partnership or what have you strictly about the baby and nothing else. I think that that may have bothered him. DON"T CARE!

You know what's really sad, is that my heart goes out to his exwife... I mean, come on, how misleading was that and selfish of him to do that to her.


So back to your question Kit.... Would I ever consider.... ummm NO WAY! Why would I?

Good for you! What a louse. He is a real jerk... :mad:

[Enigma1999]

Hmm wouldnt it be nice for you to take a walk past their home when your pretty pregnant!

Surely they will put two and two together!

Haha I thought of that... Well something like that. I'm not much of a game player and I don't want to come off as needy or desperate.

That was funny though! Lol;)

[aimee_tt]

He slept with his ex wife!!

What a scum bag!

Oh let me at him please!

[Kitkat22]

Haha I thought of that..... Well something like that. I'm not much of a game player and I don't want to come off as needy or desperate.

That was funny though! lol;)

He'll get his... guys like him always do. You won't have to do anything, cause what goes around comes around. He'll end up being old and alone!

[Enigma1999]

he slept with his ex wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a scum bag!

Oh let me at him please!

Yep! Pretty pathetic huh? I don't really know much about her, I do know this... She is still in love with him, and now this will only make it harder for her. I even asked him, " Why are you toying with people this way?"

It is what it is and that doesn't matter now. The baby is what matters. I just hope that he will come to his senses and be a good Father. I'm not going to get my hopes up.

[Kitkat22]

Yep! Pretty pathetic huh? I don't really know much about her, I do know this... She is still in love with him, and now this will only make it harder for her. I even asked him, " Why are you toying with people this way?"

It is what it is and that doesn't matter now. The baby is what matters. I just hope that he will come to his senses and be a good Father. I'm not going to get my hopes up.

I just hope he becomes human... the scuz.

[aimee_tt]

He will get his... Just make sure your not attached to him in any other way than the kid.

My dad cheated on my mum... Now he's in a wheel chair... Only problem is my mum didn't have the heart to leave him when she found out so she had to put up with him in the wheel chair lol

[Enigma1999]

He will get his... Just make sure your not attached to him in anyother way than the kid.

My dad cheated on my mum... Now hes in a wheel chair... Only problem is my mum didnt have the heart to leave him when she found out so she had to put up with him in the wheel chair lol

Sorry about that.:( That was/still is a good woman right there! WOW!

[aimee_tt]

Yeah but it shows you... My dad was stupid and he got what was coming to him... So will this guy...

Though I hope its not a wheel chair as that will affect everyone around him

[Aurora_Bell]

Enigmam I haven't read the previous posts, so I am kind of just jumping in here. But he sounds like a class A jerk. From one single mom to another, you'll be okay. You aren't the first girl put in this situation, and you certainly won't be the last.

[Enigma1999]

Enigmam I haven't read the previous posts, so I am kinda just jumping in here. But he sounds like a class A jerk. From one single mom to another, you'll be okay. You aren't the first girl put in this situation, and you certainly won't be the last.

Thank you! If I may ask you something, well a couple of things. You mentioned that you are a single Mother, is the childrens' Father in the picture? If not, then how did or do they cope with that?

[Kitkat22]

Goodnight Enigma... get some rest... Kit

[KBC]

May we all soon see some 'non male bashing', maybe a little sunshine, Not yet? that's OK,someday this will pass,water under your... umm.. ok after that too.. anyway,where was I,Oh yeah!! Sunshine and flowers blooming, kids running through the house,and this guy just a past hurt,not worth the time to think about.

Grieve to your hearts content.

Forgive yourself for anything you feel guilt about.THEN,, you return to the person I think we all knew on here, after all, this is a HELP desk.. you must have helped others(you do have feelings,empathy... compassion,etc.)

I am not saying do this now, but when you do return to you, not the hurt you, I know there will be many here to support you, me included:)

[Aurora_Bell]

Nope he is not in our lives. We were together for a long time, going to get married, he was abusive, when I got pregnant I left him. I enrolled us in therapy, he went to one class, and left the province when my daughter was 2 months old. He never looked back, didn't tell me he was leaving, cleaned out the bank account out in the process. He will send gold lockets on Christmas engraved with "Love Dad" Send cards saying how much he loves her, and sign it "love daddy", send her $100 shoes that are too small. It's a joke

It wasn't my ideal situation, I didn't want to be a single mom, I didn't want to raise a kid with no child support, and no help and on my own. But that's life. It goes on. I was the one who decided to have un protected sex, it was my choice and now I must live by it.

I'm not going to lie, it sucks. I love my daughter, would I do it all over again with the same result? You betcha. I have never known love like this before. Cliché, yup; you bet, but it's the truth.

You will be okay. You take his sorry a$$ to court and you ask for child support. If he is going to be a good dad, let him. He may not have been a good husband or boyfriend, but let him try and be a good dad.