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Uber Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 09:39 PM
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When women go through mid-life crisis... everything falls and droops. We kind of go crazy.
When men go through a mid-life crisis.. they buy a sports car, get a twenty year old... viagra and a toupee. Not all of them.. My husband was too scared to even try. Must be the iron skillets in my kitchen:D
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Ultra Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 09:43 PM
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Originally Posted by KBC
This would be mine in a nutshell.
From the realization of the empty nest,the necessity to be here for my parents care full time,the lack of true freedom,the internalization of all troubles and responses,which held inside became a deeper depression,which in turn had even higher manic fits to compensate for the extreme lows,,then ups,,,etc..snowball effect.
Frustration to the highest levels.Breaking me for a time,,I can't say how long,I wasn't always in reality during these episodes.
Medications,hospital visits,therapy,extreme,um,activities with others,wild relationships,out of control behaviors,burning the candle at both ends,,,etc,,I think y'all get the picture.
This was when I was around 30 to ,well,present,,but tapered off in the last few years.
OK. This is not what I was thinking it was about, but who knows? Parents need to be cared for. Children have their own lives, but sometimes need help.
So men need to lash out or change their ways because of this:confused:
They can't just cope like normal rational people? IE Women?
OK... some women and some men:rolleyes:
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Ultra Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 09:51 PM
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Well then,what were you 'formulating your question' around?
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Ultra Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 09:58 PM
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Originally Posted by KBC
Well then,what were you 'formulating your question' around?
I'm so sorry, maybe I got off track:( I really appreciate your responses:)
I'm not looking for anything specific, just basic knowledge that I don't know.
I do have to go to bed now, late for me since I'm old and still not retired.:D
Thank you!
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Uber Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 10:00 PM
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Why limit it to men?
I've dated strong, opinioned women for the most part, and my last big love lost spent more time asking those questions than me...
I find it just wrong to stereotype in this area... lots of women are "happily married and dreaming of divorce" too...
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Uber Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 10:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Just Dahlia
I'm so sorry, maybe I got off track:( I really appreciate your responses:)
I'm not looking for anything specific, just basic knowledge that I don't know.
I do have to go to bed now, late for me since I'm old and still not retired.:D
Thank you!
Yeah... me too... Hey KBC:D
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Ultra Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 10:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
Yeah...me too...Hey KBC:D
Hey hey,KK:cool:
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Uber Member
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Jun 14, 2010, 10:18 PM
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Originally Posted by KBC
Hey hey,KK:cool:
Cute glasses... :D you made a poem... ;)
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 01:25 AM
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JD, I wish I could help you, but I don't think that I can. You see, I am 48, and have only been married for 11 years. She is five years younger than I, and that is young enough for me. We have two young sons ages 8 and 5, so that in itself keeps me young.
I got married at a later age because I didn't want to be one of those guys that would be straying from their marriage in the quest for youth. Or for the quest of youthful booty.
I had fun while I was still single. I traveled, I sampled, I drove the fast car. I raised hell BEFORE I settled down. My wife accepts me for what I am, and loves me more for the experience.
I may be wrong, but I don't think I'll be going back looking for something that I didn't do.
I found a woman that I feel that I can grow old with. She's not perfect, but she's perfect for ME.
The greatest job that I'll ever have is the one that I am proudest to admit to having now. A husband and father.
My hair is turning gray, and turning loose. And I'm OK with that.
So, when my wife turns 50 I won't be trading her in for two 25's.
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Uber Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 06:41 AM
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Some men don't talk about their feelings. They don't like to ask for directions either.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 07:05 AM
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Originally Posted by kp2171
why limit it to men?
ive dated strong, opinioned women for the most part, and my last big love lost spent more time asking those questions than me...
i find it just wrong to stereotype in this area... lots of women are "happily married and dreaming of divorce" too...
Your absolutely right, it could go either way, it's just the stereotypical idea is a man buying a sports car or having an affair, etc.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by jmjoseph
JD, I wish I could help you, but I don't think that I can. You see, I am 48, and have only been married for 11 years. She is five years younger than I, and that is young enough for me. We have two young sons ages 8 and 5, so that in itself keeps me young.
I got married at a later age because I didn't want to be one of those guys that would be straying from their marriage in the quest for youth. Or for the quest of youthful booty.
I had fun while I was still single. I traveled, I sampled, I drove the fast car. I raised hell BEFORE I settled down. My wife accepts me for what I am, and loves me more for the experience.
I may be wrong, but I don't think I'll be going back looking for something that I didn't do.
I found a woman that I feel that I can grow old with. She's not perfect, but she's perfect for ME.
The greatest job that I'll ever have is the one that I am proudest to admit to having now. A husband and father.
My hair is turning gray, and turning loose. And I'm OK with that.
So, when my wife turns 50 I won't be trading her in for two 25's.
I don't need help, I am just curious, but I like your response:) My husband is 58 and I'm 50 and the kids are grown (at least physically), I'm pretty sure we are past that, but who knows:rolleyes:
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Uber Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 07:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Just Dahlia
Your absolutely right, it could go either way, it's just the stereotypical idea is a man buying a sports car or having an affair, etc.
Yep... some men go through the mid life crisis .and it doesn't bother them. :)
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:31 PM
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jmjoseph agrees : I just meant help with you question. I'm sure your husband is happy. You are a catch.
Ha ha:D Aren't we all?:rolleyes:
Thanks:)
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Uber Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Just Dahlia
jmjoseph agrees : I just meant help with you question. I'm sure your husband is happy. You are a catch.
ha ha:D Aren't we all?:rolleyes:
Thanks:)
I'll bet jm is a catch! He is a very nice man.:) A true gentleman.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Kitkat22
I'll bet jm is a catch! He is a very nice man.:) A true gentleman.
I'm sure he is:) I didn't mean that disrespectful, I was having fun. He sounds like a wonderful man:
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Emotional Health Expert
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:46 PM
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You just have to be careful, and watch for signs.
For instance, if your husband suddenly seems six foot, puffed up and bullet proof, then buys a Harley, and then a helmet with a ponytail already attached, you might want to consider it could be menopause.
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Uber Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Jake2008
You just have to be careful, and watch for signs.
For instance, if your husband suddenly seems six foot, puffed up and bullet proof, then buys a Harley, and then a helmet with a ponytail already attached, you might want to consider it could be menopause.
OMG... Lol Jake... :D
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Uber Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:52 PM
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There have been many studies about the "seven year itch"... most confirm the concept that the same thing that gives us a sense of comfort... familiarity... can also lead to discontent and rethinking and wondering...
One study showed that couples who had experienced significant boredom in the relationship early on predicated the same years later... while those who didn't experience it early on... well, it had no statistical relevance to boredom later on..
Which basically means you are more likely to be bored later on and be distracted and unsatisfied...
So...
Is it good or bad to know this??
On one hand... it really sounds like a bummer for the chances of a happy, long marriage.
On the other... it might say "guess what? you are mortal. the things you are feeling are normal-ish"...
When I taught at the university, I offered help sessions twice a week. 80% of the people who came were women. I think half of the guys there were there for the women. Women, in my experience, seek out info and ask for help more than men.
My professional experience is exactly that. I don't like to generalize. I know the dangers of this. But I do think women tend to talk out their frustrations more... and men, like me, think we can just "work it out"...
I love to help. Hate to ask for it. HATE to ask for anything.
It isn't an excuse for any bad behavior... but it is how I'm wired.
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Ultra Member
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Jun 15, 2010, 09:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Jake2008
You just have to be careful, and watch for signs.
For instance, if your husband suddenly seems six foot, puffed up and bullet proof, then buys a Harley, and then a helmet with a ponytail already attached, you might want to consider it could be menopause.
That all sounds very familiar (except the pony tail):D Maybe he exchanged it for the stupid (just my opinion) earring.:rolleyes:
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