[Merlie]

Hi,

This is hard enough for me to write but over the 12 months, I have lost my job, lost my boyfriend and have nearly lost my house, due to decrease in earnings. I am still struggling badly.

I blame the fact that years ago, I left my parents house and my mum and I have not talked since. She never liked my daughters father ( my first boyfriend ) and nor has she ever met her grand daughter which is sad I know but she was religiously fanatical and would be appalled at my agnostic life now. Tony was abusive to me and we did separate after a few years of living together. We remained civil. He still contacts me from time to time because we have a daughter together. He has tried to help me but he is struggling himself.

I have tried to get some work but I ended up being over worked and underpaid for the job. Now I am not working and am still looking for work to pay the bills. I cry a lot and feel down. My last boyfriend Mark whom I loved very much still talks with me. He knows I have money problems but he wanted me to help myself, which I have been trying to do.

I have no one to talk to despite talking with other people about my problems. I used to have a bunch of good friends but they have all moved on with their lives and doing their own thing. I have looked up groups that are in the field of work I would like to do and have gone for auditions, fingers crossed, but this is only temporary work.

I just don't know where I am going or what I am doing. My daughter whom I love very much isn't really helping at all. She is 21 and still lives with me and she is not working so she contributes nothing financially to help out a bit. She doesn't even claim at all. She is going back into college this September to resit for an exam. I have been to court, which was horrendous, about my house and so I am really hanging on by a shoestring. I have gained weight by eating junk as it is all I can afford. So you can imagine my dilemma.

I feel lost and like I am just drifting through my life.

I just don't know what to do

[sadiemae7]

What kind of work do you do? Maybe you could see if you qualify to get some financial assistance in some training to do something different. Something that is in a high demand field where you could make a lot of money with a short period of training time. Something in healthcare, for example. Having more money won't solve all of your problems, but it will solve most of them. Maybe you would also qualify for assistance with your bills, food, housing, etc?

[Merlie]

Hi sadiemae7,

Thank you for your reply. Yes, I have been looking into what I can get to help me but most people seem to not be able to help. I don't know about working in healthcare as it is not a profession I am qualified in. I used to teach dance but since I have not done so in number of years + put up weight, it is not something I can readily go back into. I am heavier than I have ever been in my whole life and I hate it but the thing is that I don't know how to change this. I do comfort eat but it is always junk and proper foods, like veg and fruit are not as cheap or filling, so it is a vicious circle.

I have audition for an acting role but don't know if I will get it. It will pay good but the thing is its only temporary. About 2 years ago I went for a job that I was qualified for in the theatre but I didn't get it and I was so gutted as I had worked in the same theatre before and I thought that would stand me in good stead but no it wasn't to be.

I have had a good few knock backs but feel that I am just getting nowhere slowly. With the recession biting it is harder to get a decent job with good wage.

Everyday I dread it as there is always something to worry me.

Thanks again though for your reply,
Much appreciated

[I wish]

You Miss 100% of the Shots You Never Take. - Wayne Greztky

As long as you're still job hunting, you have a chance to get a job.

Once you give up your search, then you will have zero chances.

I know it's easier said that done, but you should really try to find some motivation to eat healthier and do some exercice. A healthy body really goes a long way. It will even help you be more upbeat when you're job hunting.

Don't give up. I'm sure you can do it. You've done it many times before, so there's no reason why you can't do it again.

Finally, you can come here anytime to lean on for support. We're always here to help!

[Merlie]

You Miss 100% of the Shots You Never Take. - Wayne Greztky

As long as you're still job hunting, you have a chance to get a job.

Once you give up your search, then you will have zero chances.

I know it's easier said that done, but you should really try to find some motivation to eat healthier and do some exercice. A healthy body really goes a long way. It will even help you be more upbeat when you're job hunting.

Don't give up. I'm sure you can do it. You've done it many times before, so there's no reason why you can't do it again.

Finally, you can come here anytime to lean on for support. We're always here to help!

Thank you so much for your reply I wish,

It has been very difficult for me in the past few months especially. I had a really horrible time back in March and it is still not over. I worry about my house and rent payments and although I am trying more often than not I miss a payment because the money goes on food and other stuff. I have tried places that help with paying back arrears but was unable to stick with the plan I was given as my money seemed to have been eaten up still. I do not drink or smoke or take drugs, never have never will. So I have no vices. I try to do the best I can but am always faced with problems and it is always money ones.

I was never good at saving, my mum never educated me about saving, and sometimes I spend more than I should even when I need it. Perhaps I am a spendthrift, which is not a good thing, but I suppose I try to appear as though I have something I haven't. I have been a long time now on my own doing this. It is impossible for me to do a lot of things right now and everyday I wake up to feeling afraid, scared of knocks on my door, and when I do sleep I usually have nightmares that wake me up and I find it difficult to go back to sleep.

Life for me has not been easy and feel like I am trapped in a vicious circle.

But thank you for your words of encouragement. I appreciate it.

[I wish]

It's never too late to learn. Try drafting a budget for yourself and stick to the budget.

I know that your daughter needs to re-write some exams, but it would help if she started to contribute. Though you said that your parents did not really teach you have to save, that doesn't mean that you should be the same way. You should teach your child to save, otherwise, you're just passing down your bad habits.

The first step is identifying the problem, which you have. Now it's time to tackle the problem. Try googling the words: "Save money" and you'll get lots of tips on how to help you save. You can't always blame your parents for not teaching you something, because it's never too late to educate yourself.