[needsomehelp88]

About 2.5 months ago I met a girl at my friend's birthday dinner. Both of us hit it off really well. I knew she was interested in me when she came on to me through Facebook chat. After that we soon started dating and things went really well for the first 1.5 months. We had a lot of fun and everything seemed like it was going perfect until one night we got into an argument. She said she had a problem but wasn't too open to talking to me about it. After I asked her several times to tell me she told me assumptions about me personal life and friends that were incorrect and offending. According to her I started yelling at her but I didn't even think I had raised me voice. I apologized sincerely at the time and she acted like everything was okay. A few days later she randomly stops asking my phone calls and wouldn't contact me until I finally texted her. She told me she was scared about talking about issues because she thought I was going to blow up and yell at her. We met up a few days later and worked out everything. I didn't realize that in the heat of the situation that I even raised my voice at all and sincerely apologized again.

Unfortunately after working out our problems, I had to head home for about a week and a half to have some dental work and my car repaired. Near the end of this time, she began acting strange again. She stopped answering my calls and ignored my texts until I sent her a text saying we needed to talk. This time when I talked to her she tells me she had a problem with my friends and it wasn't anything to do with me. She tried to assure me that everything was okay but I didn't believe her. I wanted to know what the issue was and it lead to another dumb argument. The conversation ended when she said she was too angry to continue the conversation. Later that day she got really sick and didn't want to talk because of her illness. We talked again the next night and both agreed me made mistakes on both ends. She told me she's emotionally drained from the arguments and is really sick right now and can't deal with this. I asked her what her intentions where of us two seeing each other. I made my intentions very clear that I liked her a lot and really wanted her to be my girlfriend. She told me she still likes me a lot but can't handle what's going on right now. She wants to take a break for now but still wants to talk to me later. I pretty much agreed to what she said and said goodbye.

After talking to one of my friends, who is also a good friend of her's, I was informed that when I started dating her she had recently broke up with a boyfriend of a little under a year. The more I think about the situation it makes me believe a little that she's not ready for a new relationship and I was somewhat of a rebound for her. The way she acted weird twice to me makes me believe that there is another guy and she is using these problems as an excuse to be seeing someone else. I can't just assume that's true though. I really do like this girl a lot and have treated her nicer than a lot of guys will treat girls. I haven't talked to her in about a week and I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Should I wait for her to contact me? Should I try contacting her after a month if she doesn't call me? Should I just completely forget about this girl and just move on with my life? Please give me some advice on this situation. Thank you.

[Clough]

Hi, needsomehelp88!

It really looks like she was starting to not be much of a good time as far as having a relationship. There might be more issues with her that you don't know about, but it would be best not to drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what they are.

Were you the rebound material? Probably so...

Have you had other girlfriends, please?

Thanks!

[needsomehelp88]

No. I haven't had a girlfriend before. This was the first girl that I've met that I've really liked a lot. She's told me she's had some bad relationships in the past and I always felt like she keeps this bad memories haunting her present. I sometimes feels like she's really fast to judge things before getting to see what it actually is.

[Clough]

So, she was used to being in a relationship and you weren't. Both persons in those frames of mind might be more apt to seek out a relationship.

You're ready though, and to me, it would appear that it's not quite time for her to be.

Some people will show irrational behavior when they have a hard time saying to someone that they don't really want a relationship at the present time.

Please let her call you.

If you're in school, what are the grade levels of the two of you, please?

[needsomehelp88]

Hmm. That's a good point. It's also probably best that I wait for her to call me too. As for school, we're both going into our senior yr of college.

[Clough]

When I was in college, I tried to date as many women that I could. Many of the women who I dated were also dating other guys at the same time. Doing that was okay then. I would like to think that dating more than one person would also be okay these days.

Do you know if it is?

[talaniman]

I think you make the mistake that so many of us do. You get attached very quickly to a stranger your attracted to and have trouble relating to them, simply because you don't know them very well.

Usually the lust, or attraction gets you down the road and it either fades, and you have nothing else to build on, or it keeps on going and gets stronger.

Its always a red flag when someone is fresh from a long term, or abusive relationship. Its an even bigger red flag when there is no meeting of the minds and there are many arguments in the beginning.

Just that alone is a signal to leave her alone and chalk it up to experience, and do your thing with someone else.

In the future, it would benefit you to have fun getting to know someone before you let yourself get so attached to them.

And all break ups suck. It will always hurt. And there are no guarantees that liking someone will turn to mutual romance, or a long term life together.

Its always a risk to get involved with some one and for whatever reason, it doesn't work out.

That's just a part of life we learn to cope with.

Healing after a break up starts with NC (No Contact), None whatsoever.