[sadiemae7]

Over the course of 3 months, I was talking to a guy at the place he works, which is where we met.
1. He always approached me first.
2. He always started talking to me first
3. He was scared the first time he approached me, didn't walk up to me right away.
4. He let me know he liked me first.
5. He asked me out for a date 2 days in a row because I couldn't remember my schedule.
6. He asked to "take me out", not to meet somewhere.
6. He picked a day we both had off, he picked the place. When I asked about the time, he asked me for my number.
7. We had no contact prior to the day of the date.
8. My cell phone got damaged the day before the date. I left an alternate number on the outgoing message.
9. The alternate number was my home phone line which was also damaged from the storm!
10. I don't know if he called/texted or not.
11. I went to see him a few days after the date to apologize and hope that he understood, didn't think I was playing games and offer to make it up to him.
12. He walked up to me, started talking to me first, just like always.
13. When I started saying "sorry" about my phone issues, he interrupted me, started acting really cocky and said he hadn't called me "yet", but he will, he's just been really busy lately.
13. He cut the conversation short, turned and walked away. He looked like he knew he just stuck it to me and was happy about it.
14. I didn't have a chance to ask if he stood me up, forgot, or what?
15. He didn't mention the date at all.
16. I know someone else who works there who told me that he had to work on his day off (the day of the date).
17. If he called and thought I was playing games, could this be why he's acting this way?
18. I went back there a couple weeks later, not to see him, just to shop. I thought he wouldn't be there at the time I went. I saw him and when he saw me he turned and walked away from me.
19. So, he's either a crazy jerk who has a lot of women he's attracted to and once he gets there number, he loses interest?
20. Or he called and thinks I'm playing games with him?
He's apparently ignoring me now. What should I do?

[Merlie]

Hello,

Well what I think you should do is leave him to it. Don't bother texting or ringing him. Be polite and friendly but leave it at that. I have an old saying, 'if in doubt leave it out!' So your best bet is to get on with your life and not bother about him.

If he was sincere he would have talked with you and made it clear about the situation and put your mind at ease. From what you are saying, he does sound immature.

I'd leave him to it!

[aimee_tt]

If you really want to know if he is interested take another guy into the shop with you.

Could just be a guy friend your close with that he doesn't know. If he likes you he will get jealous and try get your attention again.

But don't message him or call him. If he is being a jerk he doesn't deserve you if he thinks otherwise he will talk to you if he thinks your not as interested.

[sadiemae7]

I wouldn't contact him at this point even if I could. (He never offered me his number.)

I guess I was hung up on the fact of not knowing if he called or not. The feeling like maybe he did call and thought I was playing games with him and my phones. But, I did apologize and tell him my phone was broken. So, whether he called or stood me up on purpose doesn't really matter. All that matters is he was incredibly rude to me and blew me off and is now ignoring me. Either way, he is not who I thought he was at all.

I guess it's hard for me to wrap my head around why a guy would be so intent on pursuing me for months and trying to get a date with me and then just walk away from me and be mean. I mean, what was the point of it all? It's bizarre.

[redhed35]

Although its annoying at least now you know, and you have not wasted 3 months or more trying to find that out,getting broken hearted and hurt.

He has left the door open for a new guy,a different guy,date lots of guys,that way you won't get hung up on just one,when one wants to become serious,if you feel the same,well there you go.

Stop stressing over what he did,its done now,brush it off,as another poster suggested,be polite,and leave it at that.

[sadiemae7]

I always felt comfortable around him. It bothers me, because my instincts are usually good.

I may have seen one "red flag" though. When I was writing down my name and number, I asked him what his last name was. He said he would tell me when he called me. I thought at the time he meant he didn't want to get too personal before the first date. He only talked about work and only asked me questions about my work.

Is it normal to not want to give out any personal information before a first date? I didn't give out any either. But, that's because he asked most of the questions and he never asked me anything personal. Would this indicate someone is hiding something or indicate just wanting to keep it really casual at first?

[Merlie]

I do think you have to take a step back and look at the greater picture. If someone asked me my surname or I asked another person for theirs, I would expect to be given it. But clearly there is an ulterior motive for him to withhold his surname.

He has you exactly where he wants you and you are thinking about him and his motives. I really think you should think about this, don't go near him. Avoid him at all costs. Let him be the first to say something, and if he does, be polite but friendly but leave it at that.

He certainly has you thinking about him. Remember men want what they can't have. Just get on with your life and don't bother about him. Someone better for you is out there/

Good luck

[I wish]

Sounds to me that he's a very cautious guy and it takes time for him to open up. However, when he sees a few challenges, he immediately closes up with key and lock. He sounds very easily rattled.

Whateer you think his feelings were for you, it sounds very fragile. You're better off finding someone who is more confident and sure about their feelings.

[sadiemae7]

I'm not interested in him anymore. I will probably just never go there again or at the very least not for a long time.

[talaniman]

A guy that won't tell you his full name, is not a guy to trust with your phone number.

[sadiemae7]

Yes, talaniman, good point, I agree. I was finished writing my name and number on the piece of paper at that point, looked at my name, asked him, and was already in the process of handing it to him when he said that. I only asked his last name because I had written down my first and last name, (I have an unlisted address). I didn't really need to know his last name, I just saw mine and said it. But, it did strike me as odd that he wouldn't just want to tell me. In fact, I felt all of the attraction that I had for him kind of leave my body at that point.

I didn't mean to imply that I needed to know his last name before I gave him my number, though. I know it might seem weird, but sometimes I'm the type of person in that if I offer someone information it's okay, but if they ask it's not okay. For example, very early on he had asked me if I worked somewhere in the area, because I was wearing a work uniform. I started to feel like he was getting too close and I gave him a very vague answer. At which point he cut the conversation short and backed off. I felt kind of stupid about it later because where I work is not a secret. So, I don't know if he was trying to hide something, or if he is just a more controlling person than I am.

I really felt that he may have had a recent bad experience. In other words, maybe went out on a couple of dates with someone he met at work and she started acting like a stalker type. I more than anything else just didn't like the way he said it and the tone in his voice. He's the type of person who starts acting very nice and almost shy and then once he's comfortable with you behaves very differently.

[talaniman]

No telling what he may be up to.

or if he is just a more controlling person than I am.

LOL, I find yourself awareness amusing, and refreshing. You will have other opportunities with guys who won't stand you up though.