[ambjuju]

I have 2 children by the same dad, the oldest is on the birth certificated, the youngest is not. He has not been around either of them (no phone calls, no letters, emails, visits etc.) for over 2 years now. He called out of the blue today and insisted I let him see his children on my voice mail. Some background on him... He is a convicted drug user/seller and also convicted of strong armed robbery, six months of the 2 years he was in jail. I truly believe that him being around my children would be a safety issue to them. He has never paid a penny of support and has never been left alone to care for my oldest when we lived together. Some people I've talked to tell me that I am breaking the law by keeping my children from seeing him. He is threating to take me to court for visitation. I don't think that he should be alone with any children since he is often high, or at least was when I made him move out for it 2 years ago and often threaten to burn down the house with me and my children inside of it. I would like his rights terminated, but seeing the other posts I am unsure if this is possible based on the drug/violence history. What are the chances of me getting the courts to terminate/not allow visitation/custody? Am I legally wrong for not letting him see them at this point?

[Fr_Chuck]

Not breaking the law, but hurting your case if and when he does go for visits.

He needs to file for visits and you can prove he is not fit and require though court that he only gets supervised visits.

So tell him yes to file in court that it would be best to get it worked out legally. Also have you ever gotten a custody order ? If not you need to get that ASAP since he is on the birth certificate

"he has never paid" so do you have a court ordered child support order,? If not he does not even owe you support legally.

So if you have a custody order and child support order though court, you have done what you are suppose to , to protect your rights, he then files for visits and you fight that out

[ambjuju]

Thank you for your reply. Can you tell me more on how Im hurting my case? That is the last thing I want to do!
A little more info, both of my children are special needs children, he doesn't even know this because he's not around. I had pprom with my youngest, was put on bed rest and had to get support from the state during that time. I signed the papers and got help from the worker there for the child support but they were never able to locate him and I didn't go to court at any point for any reason.
The only thing I have is a statement on the paternity paper for the birth certificate that says unless otherwise stated the mother will have custody of the child. Will this be enough? What exactly does going to court for custody do if my children are in my care already? Will this give him the opportunity to fight for his rights at a custody hearing?

I know that my choices in having children are not the best, but I also know that he didn't become a hard core drug addict until after the fact and in part due to a death in the family. I don't want him to be around them because I fear they will not be in a safe environment.

Does getting a support order somehow open a door for him to get more visitation or possibly custody?

[ambjuju]

I know that my choices in having children are not the best, but I also know that he didn't become a hard core drug addict until after the fact and in part due to a death in the family. I don't want him to be around them because I fear they will not be in a safe environment.

Meaning having children with him...

[Fr_Chuck]

If he is listed on the birth certificate, and there is no custody agreement, he has as much legal rights to have the children in his care and custody as you do. So if for some reason the children were at his home, there is no legal reason for him to give them back, so yes there is a need for a custody order.


And if you are not providing some way for him to see his kids, if he goes for visits, he will tell the judge ( or his lawyer will) that you keep the kids from him, you turned them against him and he will ask for more rights or more visits to make up for this.

So you need to get this into court ASAP to clear up this entire issue.

And no unless the family court has ordered custody of the kids, there is no custody order in place

He always has the right to take you to court, and it will be he filing first

Or God forbid, it will be you filing after he took the kids and ran off with them, and then you will have to file to get custody and to make him return them.

[ambjuju]

So the first part works both ways right? I have no legal reason for me to give them to him, but I should, in order to help my case allow him to see them since it could be used against me that I am keeping his kids from him? What happens if he runs out the door with them? With him not being on my youngest's birth certificate he has no legal right to her until paternity is established correct? But my oldest, if I let him visit and he was able to get away with her I would have no legal right to get her back unless I file for custody and make him return them? This is one of my biggest fears in letting him see them at my home, and since I have no idea as to where he lives I wouldn't even know where to start looking for them. I don't know what to do, I don't want to give him any leverage, but he's threated to take them before and I just don't want to risk that... Do you have any suggestions for this?
Given his history can I assume they would do supervised visits if they allow visitation in the first place? Would I have any chance of getting the courts to not allow any visitation? If he is not allowed visitation or custody does he still have to pay support?