[sarah1010]

Well I've been on again off again with this same guy for about 3 years now.. although our relationship efforts never seem to work, I guess cause we're both so much alike and stubborn we both care about each other a lot. Through these years we've both attempted seeing other people, but for some reason always end up together again. Just a few nights ago we got into a heated discussion starting by him asking me how many people I have slept with. I'm someone who feels like that shouldn't matter in the least. I'm not a slut, I'm 19 years old and have slept with 5 people including him but he can't seem to accept the fact that I've been with others. He tells me that's all he can think about and he hates knowing other guys can say they've been with me. I guess what I don't understand is why he can't see this doesn't matter at all, everyone has been with someone else and it's not something you should waste your time thinking about. I'm just looking for some advice as to what I can do to make him feel better? He says there's nothing I can do to change the past and I agree. But I want him to understand that IT IS just that... the past. Anyone has an ideas or imput let me know k?. thanks :)

[confused2504]

All guys have this complex. No matter if you had been with two guys, they act the same.

I think you are right in saying that it's the PAST. Tell him to get over it, and that you're here with him and you think only of him.

Guys only get upset over these things because it's a ego thing. They think that you would compare them to other guys and they feel inadequate.

Im sure if you just comfort your man and reassure him that your "figure" should make NO difference to your relationship what so ever. The more times you tell eventually it should sink in. As a general rule next time, there are some guys who don't care at all about how many you have slept with and some do, I would always keep my figure to a minimum no matter what way they think. I know you don't want to lie, but sometimes a little white lie, saves all this rubbish.
Your boyfriend just needs to take the mature approach to the situation. He will I guarantee you get over this. I know it would be frustrating, but keep at it and just enhance your feelings for him and let him know you have long forgotten about the past the minute you met him!

Good Luck!

[artistall]

You are 19 and you have been with him since you were 16 on and off but it never seems to work. More or less these are your words. You keep going back to each other because after other failed attempts at relationships you both know that there is a comfort zone in knowing what is already familiar in your relationship even though it is rough going. Besides you said you both care for each other a lot not Love each other. You should continue to seek the right person in your life so that you will have a better chance at happiness in the future. Spend more time getting to know yourself, your wants, and your needs. To consider this relationship on a long term basis could spell disaster for both of you if in reality it is merely a "convenience". You are young and have time to explore yourself and the world around you, so don't worry, you will know love when you find love. The good thing here is that you know you can always turn to each other as friends and support each others failures. The sleeping with other people issue should be a private and personal matter. It is no ones business who you slept with or how many times. By giving out that information YOU are creating the issue. As the times when you were 6 and 7 years old faded in distant memory, so will this time fade. So look towards the future where you will be married to a wonderful man who loves you and raise a family. Peace and harmony are hard to find in this world so look real hard! Don't settle for less! I wish you the best!!