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mariogreen · Dec 10, 2006, 12:34 PM

My girlfriend wants her 16 year old daughter out of her house. She is the third of three and is following the same destructive path of her older brother and sister. Her behavior is insubordinate and she is practicing homosexual sex with an older female of legal age and uses marijuana. My girlfriend wants to kick her out, or give her up for adoption. What are her legal consequences for abandonment, and how realistic is putting her up for adoption at this age. I am seeking legal advice, so please only respond to this posting if you have legal knowledge,or personal experience with a matter similar to this one. Your personal comments are not needed!!

Fr_Chuck · Dec 10, 2006, 03:07 PM

Ok, first it sounds like she don't want to be a parent, and your girlfiend has some real issues.

1. where is the child's father, and no you can't just put her up for adoption, would the father want to take her for a while.

2. if she is having sex with an adult, call the police for statutory rape on the adult,

3. don't let the 16 year old out without supervision, period,

4. talk to youth athorities and see about sending her to boot camp, it oftens changes someone's position in life.

5. kids are not something you throw out, and you have to cause the things to happen in their lifes, to change them, or keep them under lock and key so they can't/

6. as far as a homosexual life style, you can not decide anothers sexual preference, but at 16 often rebel in this life style looking for a love they don't find in other places.

mariogreen · Dec 11, 2006, 11:33 AM

First of all CHUCK!! I told you I am not concerned with your opinions or personal comments or anyone's for that matter, I am seeking LEGAL advice, from someone qualified to discuss legal issues. You are a schmuck!! And that's why our society is so screwed up today, because idiots like you want to let children run your life. That's why we have adults in the first place and kids are to do as they are told until they become adults.

rtdc · Dec 11, 2006, 11:48 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ok, first it sounds like she don't want to be a parent, and your girlfiend has some real issues.

1. where is the childs father, and no you can't just put her up for adoption, would the father want to take her for a while.

2. if she is having sex with an adult, call the police for statutory rape on the adult,

3. don't let the 16 year old out without supervision, period,

4. talk to youth athorities and see about sending her to boot camp, it oftens changes someones position in life.

5. kids are not something you throw out, and you have to cause the things to happen in thier lifes, to change them, or keep them under lock and key so they can't/

6. as far as a homosexual life style, you can not decide anothers sexual preference, but at 16 often rebel in this life style looking for a love they don't find in other places.

This is really Great advice I agree 100% with the boot camp thing

ScottGem · Dec 11, 2006, 11:57 AM

Originally Posted by mariogreen

First of all CHUCK!!!!! I told you I am not concerned with your opinions or personal comments or anyone's for that matter, I am seeking LEGAL advice, from someone qualified to discuss legal issues. You are a schmuck!!! and thats why our society is so screwed up today, because idiots like you want to let children run your life. Thats why we have adults in the first place and kids are to do as they are told until they become adults.

One of the things about a site like this is we give the best advice we feel meets the situation. Sometimes that advice is a simple answer to the question asked. Other times, it may go beyond the scope of the question in a sincere attempt to provide help. The fact is that Chuck's advice was all about getting control over the kid NOT letting the kid run your life. So your comments to him were way off base and not applicable to his advice. There is no need or call to be abusive and insulting when someone is trying to help you.

I agree with and echo Chucks's advice here. But from a legal standpoint, you need to talk to your local Children's services agency. They can advise you at what age your girlfriend can "emancipate" her daughter. It may be 18 it may be younger. Without knowing where you are from we can't answer with specific law. And frankly, with your attitude I wouldn't waste my time looking it up for you if I did know where you reside.

mariogreen · Dec 12, 2006, 02:08 PM

Mr. Gem, you are not a man. You're a girly man, full of sensetivity and all that crap. Get a pair!! You don't have a clue about how to dicipline and deal with children. Your kids are probably the next columbine cowards. I will repeat, I am not asking for your opinion, If you don't have legal information, save it!! I'm not trying to be on a talk show!! Thank you Jerry GEM Springer!!

J_9 · Dec 12, 2006, 02:13 PM

Mario, not all of us here are Legal Experts. We speak mainly from experience. To get accurate info for your particular situation you should speak with a family law attorney.

ScottGem · Dec 12, 2006, 02:15 PM

I could report your response and have it deleted and you suspended. But I decided to leave it up. Your crude and insulting behavior was and is totally uncalled for as well as totally inaccurate. If any child you have influence over is behaving badly, I think most people can judge why.

I think I know more about dealing with children then you apparently do.

excon · Dec 13, 2006, 06:13 AM

Originally Posted by mariogreen

Your personal comments are not needed!!!

Hello jerk:

You don't NEED my comment, but I NEED to deliver it. What?? Your NEEDS outweigh mine?? I don't think so. I NEED to tell you to stick it.

Ok, cool! My needs have been met! I had a real good time saying that. Thanks a bunch.

excon

PS> By the way, you should try learning to spell.

talaniman · Dec 13, 2006, 07:52 AM

agrees: Cheap is what they call people like this and dumb for not being able to Google.

OOOOPS! Meant to disagree and I think this poster is looking for a fight. Pray for the kids the adults are screwed.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 13, 2006, 08:14 AM

Legally you can go to social services, ( child protective services, tell some truth, tell a lot of lies,) and have the child declared a deliquent by the juv court system.

Refuse to help and be part of the child's life and send the child to foster care or juv detnetion till they are 18.

And honestly after reading your posts, I think the child may stand a better chance in life without you in it.

s2tp · Dec 13, 2006, 08:57 AM

Mario,

I do know from personal experience that you can not kick her out under the age of 18. Until then her mother is responsible for her.

I have no clue about adoption.

I am not sure about emancipation, but I believe that has to be filed by the daughter, not the mother.

Ok that is my experience advice...

My personal advice is everything the above gentlemen said and more! I will refrain from cussing up storm at you and your girlfriend for not taking responsibility. I wish and pray that the girl gets taken care of and away from you.

LUNAGODDESS · Dec 13, 2006, 10:10 AM

What I have notice is that many children and adolescents are influence by what they see on television and what is being expressed on some internet sites. The weak of our society are glorified. And are given expensive toys to play with... to parade around as glorified hookers and poster children for abusing substances. We have a subculture that created a behavior template and our children (remember these words our children, our concerns) are following these behaviors and have become lost because of our weakness. The next time you see those glamorous vixens and pimps - show them the picture of someone just dying to be like them.

Now, to the child that is at risk:

Let's jump right into the situation:

Frustration: The leading cause for family disruptions.

Conduct disorders this is a generalization of your problems. Conduct disorders involves such characteristics as unconcealed violent behavior, both verbal and physical disruptiveness; negativism and irresponsibly; and defiance to authority-are you close to the problems? Does she exhibit socialized aggression (now remember for your information all suggestions are cited from various texts and are not totally the opinions of my own, you will need a clinical professional to address the issues and a legal professional a lawyer)
Is she involved in gang activities, stealing, and truancy and is she participating in a delinquent subculture or a sexual subculture? [Von Lisse 1981]

There are many factors influencing the emotional and behavior disorders of your child. You must prove to the courts that your environments, school and parenting management styles and culture values are not the causations of these problems with the child. You want legal - here is a start. I know it is not easy.

Does your child suffer with a learning disability such as ADD/ADHD? There is financial support for these concerns.

What extra efforts have you made to address the problems?
Have you considered encouraging her to emancipate? If, she is so unhappy with you and her mother then this action is something that she can consider. In most states a teenager has to be at least 16 years old. And the courts must make that final decision if emancipation is in the best interest of the minor. In order for the minor to be emancipated, the person must file a petition or hire a lawyer to help file emancipation petition with the court. If, she is unable to afford a lawyer then the juvenile court may appoint a lawyer at no charge( in most states). Again, it is up to the judge to consider emancipation. (in all states)

Remind your teenager of the responsibly an emancipated teenager should weigh.

In order to place a child up for adoption you must have the father's approval. But, at the age of 16 that decision about her life will be in her hands (when the judge makes that final decision).

Websites:
http://www.larcc.org/pamphlets/child...20emancipation

http://www.law.cornell.edu/donors/so...ancipation.htm

http://www.helpyourteens.com/teen_dr..._drinking.html

http://www.helpyourteens.com/defiant_teens.html

http://www.helpyourteens.com/free_information.shtml

jrussole · Dec 26, 2006, 09:00 AM

You can also contact her school social worker. Informing them that she using drugs which may help them in controlling the problem in her school or have them watch her more closely for inappropriate behavior. Many times, the social worker is aware of support systems in place in your community that may help, such as a "safe house" where a child can go for "cooling off" and or therapy. You could also escalate this matter of her having sex with the police in regard to her sexual behavior with an adult. She is a minor. It is statutory rape in many states.

mkelly21 · Jan 5, 2007, 11:34 PM

Originally Posted by mariogreen

Mr. Gem, you are not a man. you're a girly man, full of sensetivity and all that crap. Get a pair!!!! You don't have a clue about how to dicipline and deal with children. Your kids are probably the next columbine cowards. I will repeat, I am not asking for your personal opinion, If you don't have legal information, save it!!!!!. I'm not trying to be on a talk show!!!! Thank you Jerry GEM Springer!!!

Sounds to me like you are an abusive boyfriend trying to control your girlfriend.
You want everyone out of her life that is close to her including her children.
Yes, I know by experience that teenagers can be out of control, but that is no reason to get rid of them. They need love and assurance that someone cares about them or they will seek love elsewhere, including drugs, alcohol, and bi-sexual encounters. If you can't be a real man and help her with her child, then you need to be the one to leave, not her child. Try taking them to church and get Jesus in your heart, until then you will never have any peace with anything. I know that by experience too!

mkelly21 · Jan 5, 2007, 11:48 PM

Sounds to me that you are the one trying to get rid of the child. You sound like a controlling boyfriend trying to control the girlfriend, even if it means getting her children out of the picture! Speaking from experience, teenagers need assurance that someone cares about them. If they don't find it at home, they will seek it out by drugs, alcohol, and even bi-sexual relationships. You need to be a man in this situation and step up to the plate here. If you can't be a man and show some love, then you need to be the one to leave, not the child! If the girlfriend had any smarts about her at all, she would kick you out and not her own child. I know if it were me, You would have already been long gone!
What everyone needs here is not a lawyer to determine who goes where, you all need Jesus in your hearts and a good church to get involved in. You sound like a very angry person, you could use a pastor to confide in! Good Luck!

mkelly21 · Jan 5, 2007, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by mariogreen

My girlfriend wants her 16 year old daughter out of her house. She is the third of three and is following the same destructive path of her older brother and sister. Her behavior is insubordinate and she is practicing homosexual sex with an older female of legal age and uses marijuana. My girlfriend wants to kick her out, or give her up for adoption. What are her legal consequences for abandonment, and how realistic is putting her up for adoption at this age. I am seeking legal advice, so please only respond to this posting if you have legal knowledge,or personal experience with a matter similar to this one. Your personal comments are not needed!!!

Dude, you are the one with issues!!