[nikkir386]

Hi everyone, I have a problem and maybe I'm not looking so much for advice as just some words of encouragement. About 1 1/2 years ago, I moved in with my dad and stepmom. I was living(& grew up) in a big city and struggling with money, some debt and living on my own, not able to finish college like I wanted. Overall my life was just going nowhere fast. I'm in my early 20s. My stepmom offered their home to me, they said that I wouldn't have to worry about finances and just go to school, get a part time job and finish my degree in two years. They live about 2 hours away in a small town that has a university. So I enrolled and packed up, uprooted my whole life with the promise that I would be able to finish college once and for all, and get myself out of this mess. I was a little bit hesitant at first to do this because my stepmom and I had a history of conflict, but I thought since I was a "grown up" now things would be different.

So anyway, long story short, I am being kicked out on my own again, just 6 months shy of graduation. I am not on drugs. I have no kids. I keep to myself and honor their privacy. I don't invite random people into their home. Overall I don't do much, lol. Just working, going to school and keeping good grades like I said I would. All work and no play, but I am here to get things done, not mess around. The reason I'm out again is that my stepmom changed her mind and decided she doesn't like living with other adults (ahem, me). It makes her "uncomfortable in her own home". :confused: It was a little hurtful to hear that, because I thought things were going well and we were becoming good friends. We never argued. Things seemed to be going well. It was an adjustment for me too, but I thought it was nice of them to help me better myself and my future, without anymore distractions. My dad just buries his head in the sand, doesn't want to hear me out. Anyway, I guess I'm just feeling disappointed, I feel alone because I don't really have any friends here. I wish I could say that I said/did something really awful to get kicked out, but sorry folks, it was just a change of heart on her behalf. So, I'm left to my own devices, and I feel like my dad didn't honor his commitment to me. Anyway, that's about it. I just needed a good vent.

[Jake2008]

That is a rotten break, finally getting so close to your degree, and being booted out.

Try your best to convince your mother in law, and your father, that you need them to honour their commitment to you. Tell them you realize it is an inconvenience, and you're getting on their nerves, but to kick you out now, would mean your future is directly affected.

See if you can't come to some sort of compromise. If you just take it, you will never know what you may have accomplished by talking to them, and working something out.

Would it be possible for you to spend one or two nights away from home with a friend? That would give them a breather, and they may be less inclined to feel as they do, especially knowing the end is so near.

If they are adamant, and you have to get out, I hope that you will find some accommodation until you have finished your degree. Make that your priority even if you have to accept a room in a motel for six months.

I wouldn't give up staying where you are without trying to talk out some sort of plan, but at the same time, be prepared, and look for another place to tide you over.

[QLP]

I wish I could give your dad a kick up the butt and get him to tell his wife that his home should be your home as long as you need it, you're not some random adult sharing HER house, you are his son!

Having said that, he's not going to man up so that just leaves you I'm afraid. Do whatever you can to get that graduation. Can they at least give you some financial help until you finish studying, even if they are not prepared to have you live there? Do all you can to make the best of things and show them how a real man acts.

My thoughts are with you. Xx

[KBC]

Hi Nik,

How have things been on the drinking areas of your life.I remember when you had the problem in the past.Has that ever been addressed?Have you continued drinking?