[edgeofdesire]

so I have an issue about an ex we dated for almost 2 years and I met him right after I got out of a relationship he waited so long for me to be ready to be in a new one and was my best friend finally I gave in... or it was even assumed I was in one. I was a year younger and we started dating when I was going into grade 12 and he was going first year of university he was so loyal to me and the best boyfriend I can ask for, even though it was a kind of long distance relationship because the university was 2.5 hrs away from our home town but we talked every night and saw each other every 2 weeks and our relationship was amazing we've been through so much together and so much life experience from dealing with ones parents divorcing to other things... and our first summer when he came home was amazingg, then the following year I went to the same university as him (and no I didn't go there cause he goes there I actually wanted to go there for the longest time) and at first things were going good then all of the sudden it started going downhill from there I came with no friends to university unlike him and wanted to establish my own life making new friends and balancing a job and school work and a boyfriend was tough so I guess I wasn't being a good girlfriend in regards to giving him attention and making an effort to see him at all. So at the end of my first year we broke up and he ended it and yea the reason we broke up was me it was my fault I wasn't trying at all and he was being such a good boyfriend now its summer and 3 months after we broke up I really miss him and I guess I realize I can't take things for granted like I took him. We talked about us for the past 3 months and hooked up a couple of times but he basically established that he's happier being single and I guess I feel kind of the opposite. Then this week I found out that he slept with a girl in the past 3 months we have been broken up and kissed 6 other ones I know he's single but it just hurts so much cause I haven't done that and he's been treating me kind of like t the past 3 months he's cancelled our plans last minute, acted as though he doesn't give a t about me. Then there are other times he texts me randomly and say he missed me and wants to see me I just am sooo confused whether to give it time and see where it goes and hopefully get another chance to prove him that I can be a good girlfriend or to just say it and try to move on and take this as a learning experience (even though I love him) pleasee help me I'm sooo confussed!!

[makimaki]

WOW! Ok I don't know what you should do, but here's what I would do:
If I love him, but I was careless and let him go, I never give up until the hope is gone! Because when the hope is gone, there are no what ifs, no regrets. Yes you are risking being rejected... Getting your heart broken, or you might find that he still loves you. That is what I would do... But I am personally a very persistent girl and I can take a heartbreak, I've had a couple of those! And you know what, after time, you always find someone better. Who will accept you for who u are or what you're going through!!

But one thing is for sure: You will KNOW! No what ifs. He won't be the one who got away...
In the end, if he wants to be single, then you tried! Move on. I know it's easier said than done. Trust me! But it's possible ;)
Hope this is helpful! Take care...

[sully123]

I don't understand the texts, saying he still misses you, but then he is out with other girls. Have you talked to him since the breakup? We all make mistakes, and sometimes we find out when its too late.

[SimpleguyJoe]

Usually things are much harder on the person that was broke up with and somehow or another the person that ended it comes out unmarred and ready for a rebound.

You really don't have to be so confused, just think about it more. Think of your and his circumstances. Does he only text you at night? On weekends or lonely rainy days? If it was the first then he was probably drunk and possibly reminiscing or possibly trying to just get lucky with an old GF he knows he can score with. If it was the latter he may really miss you, who knows?

The best thing you can do is assume it's over and stop talking to him, if he loves you he will figure it out and find a way to make it known. If not it's best to start recovering and getting your life back on track asap rather than sitting around and just hoping that things might take the happy fairytale ending where he takes you back and you finish uni together before getting married.

At the moment it just sounds like he is taking even your friendship for granted, show him your not a doormat and things could at least improve on that end.

[samy6]

I agree with joe, I have been through the same situation. I broke up with my boyfriend, started missing him and wanted to go back. But I realized that it was not worth it. Of course you will miss him because you didn't find someone yet. But don't worry, get yourseld back, go out, don't respond to his calls or text messages, and if he really wants to get back, he will tell you.
Take care and good luck

[talaniman]

Guilt because you are juggling and learning in a new environment and can't be everywhere and all things to every one is not an option so lose it quick, and let him be single and kiss whomever he wants.

You just put him in the past, and enjoy your college experience by having fun with new friends, and activities.

If you leave him alone, and just do your thing you will heal, and wonder why you even care what he does.

[positiveparent]

Take life one day at a time, enjoy your time in uni, and if you still feel as you do about this guy in say a years time, and you're still on friendly terms then think about your future with him.

Don't live your life on if onlys or what ifs, I would think he isn't the one for you.

You'll probably meet someone new before too long, for now though I think you would be best advised to focus on your university degree and worry about a love life and b/friends later.

I found they confuse things when in truth you don't need to be confused.

These are the best years of your life make the most of them, you've the rest of your adult life to think about relationships, now though this is your time enjoy it.

[ZoeMarie]

Usually things are much harder on the person that was broke up with and somehow or another the person that ended it comes out unmarred and ready for a rebound.

I agree, and I think the reason behind it is that the person that does the breaking up has generally been thinking about it, whether it's the right decision to make, how to go about it. You know? I think it's quite possible that the person that does the breaking up has even moved on already in some cases.

[Jake2008]

I don't know what you were expecting after a breakup, but people tend to move on, and like your ex boyfriend, he did as well. He can't be faulted for seeing other people, and moving on with his life.

Your reasons for understanding the breakup in the first place were valid. New school, new adventures, new friends, juggling work and studying. Those were some of the reasons that the breakup happened.

It seems that the both of you got what you wanted.

When you say, 'hooking up', does that mean you were sleeping together a couple of times after the breakup? If you are, I would recommend you stop being a booty call.

It seems to me that he may be picking up on the fact that you are having regrets letting him go, and he is not feeling the same. That you have now decided that you love him, I'd say you are sending mixed messages more than he is.

You can't have it both ways. If you remain friends, which seems to be the direction he's going in, your expectations of some sort of reconcilliation may not ever happen, as he's told you he's happier being single.

The only way to clear the air that I see, is to talk to him honestly. Let him know that you are still in love with him, and is there a possibility that you will get back together. If he says no, then you really should move on.