[harry1403]

Hi there,

I just need to chat to someone and get advice what should I do regarding the problem I am facing. I am so deeply in love with this girl who happens to be a close friend. Its not a crush because I have been in love with her for the past 2 years. The problem is that she does not feel the same way towards me.

I have done everything for her been there during her bad/good times, provided her financial aid when she needed it, listened to her problems all the time when she needed a shoulder to cry on, take her out for movies and dinner. She enjoys my company.

Somehow she still does not love me after all this years! She knows how I feel for her and says that she will always be there for me. She told me she loves me but she is not IN LOVE with me. Isn't it the same? I tried to avoid her for sometime it didn't work, just got worse, as I longed for her.

I love her so deeply, and I cannot imagine life without her because I've gone too far to get her to love me, but still failed. I cannot give up on my love! What should I do? How can I make love me?

Please help. My heart aches every time I think about her.
P.S. She is elder to me 2 years. :'(

[confused2504]

Hey harry,

Sorry buddy, but your situation doenst seem to be in your favor. I know what's its like to love someone and love is not returned. Its really hard. I think this lady thinks of you only as a friend and I know that really upsets you, but they are the facts. You can't force someone to love you, no matter how good you two can be together.

I think that you should let up on her for awhile. I know you have tried before and it didn't work, but you are only making yourself upset.
Treat her as a friend but don't expect anything. You seem to do a lot for her and I know its out of love, but you could be putting all that effort into someone who will do it to you.
You seem like a great person and nice and very loving... but if this lady isn't recognising that you want something more than you might be waiting for her for a very long time...
If you truly believe that she is for you, then no one can make you think otherwise.
But speaking from experience, if the person truly doesn't feel the same way, they probably never will. I mean I don't think there is anymore you can do. You have no told her how you feel and still nothing has changed.
Sorry harry, but I think this girl is trying to explain that she doesn't love you, and is trying not to hurt you.
I think that you should just leave her be, as they say some people don't realise what they have until their gone. Maybe that is what she needs.
If her feelings still don't change after that, then I'm telling you they never will. You should start going out with someone who will treat you how you treat them.
By the way you come across, you seem to be a intelligent guy who I'm sure have lots of things going for you, and plenty of women would jump at the chance to have a guy like you.
If this lady doenst realise that, then its her loss.

Good luck

[harry1403]

Hi confused 2504

First of all thanks for the great advice I really do appreciate it. My friends did give me the same advice like yourself but somehow I ignored it, maybe because I'm was too in love with this girl.
I think this time it kind of hit me, I should treat her as a friend and give her the space, if she returns then I will take it as love came back to me, if not then I should go out with someone else whom I deserve.
It will be difficult thing to do but I'm going to give it a try, thanks a lot I owe you big time. :)

[artistall]

Truly and with 100% accuracy I can tell you that you can not make someone love you! So give up on the pipe dream and take this woman entirely for her friendship before you lose that too! You have at least another 12 million women out there who want to meet you! And sooner or later you will meet one with as much attraction and appeal as this one. If you value her as a friend then back off and give her the space she needs to grow. Look within yourself for strength to move forward with your life. You never know; she may be in your future!

[Jahiem28]

Hi Love can not be forced on someone Love is natural it will happen when the time is right!! Good luck take care

[Not_alone]

Unfortunately this is not new news. Boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl just wants to be friends.

The best thing you can do is play things out, and maybe one day she will come to her senses and want to be with you. In the meantime, you shouldn't kick yourself over this, and should go out and meet other people. Perhaps if you were to find someone else and start a relationship with them, this girl will realize what a good guy you really are, who knows! You just need to keep your chin up and hope for the best.

I always say, that it's better to have someone in your life as a friend, than not there at all. But it's true, you cannot make someone love you, and trying too hard may frighten them or cause them to back away.

Stay positive, and keep being the sweetheart that you are. :)

[Maki]

Hey harry,

I've been in your shoes bro and I can tell you from my experience, it's probably for the better that you just let it be the way it is. I met a girl about 5 years ago, and I absolutely fell in love with her from the first time we sat down and talked. Mine lasted a couple years, but during that time, I still dated, as it's hard to go through life without companionship. After the last g/f during the time, I didn't date for a while, probably 6-7 months. We talked quite a bit, and I asked her out a few times, but it was always a friends type of situation. After a couple of months, we sort of grew apart for a while. About 4 months after we stopped talking, I met this absolutely wonderful, beautiful girl and we hit it off from the get go. We started dating a week after we met, and now we've been together for a year and 4 months, and we've been engaged for 6 months. Sometimes, as the old saying goes, it's better to have loved and lost, as to never have loved at all. I truly believe that while me and the girl I was in love with were friends, she really taught me a lot about life and how things fall into play the way they are supposed to be. Now I have a very very loving and beautiful fiancée and the girl I used to be in love with are starting to become better friends again, we talk here and there, and we're both happy, so that's all that counts. So, believe me, from the sound of things in your situation, maybe it's for the better if you just let her go and just make sure she's happy. Happiness is the key to a good healthy relationship. Good luck.