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linz_legrand · Sep 2, 2004, 05:55 PM

Last summer I had a "fling" with a guy that I've gone to school with all my life. We really liked each other, but just when I thought he was going to formally ask me out, we headed off to high school (we both attend the same one) and he wouldn't talk to me anymore! Boom and it was over! No "let's talk this over" no nothing! And now I've been upset and tried everything I could think of to "rekindle the flame," but it's been a year and nothing has worked! Can anyone understand what's going on here! Help please!! :'(

elrp2 · Sep 4, 2004, 02:57 AM

I think you need to try and move on. This guy isn't worth your time if he just used you for a fling and now he won't talk to you. You're worth more than that and deserve someone who will treat you in the way you want them to. Trust me, there's a much better guy out there for you.

linz_legrand · Sep 4, 2004, 06:06 PM

Thanks elrp2 for the advise. That's what a lot of my friends have been telling me -- but it's so hard to let go!

I really need to clarify something, though. I've talked with him (in person) since the first post and he expalined why he wasn't talking to me. I am a PAINFULLY shy person, especially around people that I like. Because of this, I would always talk to him over the internet. At a party that we both attended, I asked why he wouldn't talk to me and he apologized saying that a lot of times he is away from his computer and doesn't realize that anyone's trying to get in touch with him.

Since then, we see each other everyday, and we do talk, but not as much or the way we used to (i.e. he used to come to me about everything). Occasionally at school and at some parties he does flirt with me, but again -- not as he used to. He's a very flirtatios person and I can't tell whether this is special or routine. I would give anything to go back to the way things were! :'(

Also, a little more information about me: I am almost 16 and have never dated. The relationship I had with this individual was the first and only one I've ever had. I'm not sure if that changes anything, but I thought I'd put it out there.

elrp2 · Sep 5, 2004, 06:37 AM

I think the fact it's your first does change things slightly, in the way that now until you find someone else you will always compare people to him. It's not something you'll do purposely, it's just natural.

Your shyness isn't a bad thing, it's something that makes you the person you are but I liked a guy who was very shy and I found it quite hard to talk to him, 1 because of his shyness and 2 because I liked him. I'm a little shy and his shyness always made me curious as to whether I'd make him uncomfortable by talking, or flirting with him. It was at a party when we started talking because we'd both has a few drinks and it made it easier. We are now going out so I don't want you to feel like it's your fault he's not talking to you because of your shyness.

At the moment I think you just need to give it time. To get the friendship, or more, back that you originally had with him you just need to give it time. Continue as friends, getting to know each other again because I'm sure a lot of things have changed since last summer. Also, try and talk to him more in person. Start with just saying "hey" as you walk past and then "hey, how are you?" and gradually work your way into a conversation and I think he'll appreciate the effort and realise that you want to make a go of things.

linz_legrand · Sep 5, 2004, 10:46 AM

Thank you so much for the advise! It really put things in perspective for me. I'm going to try to talk to him, but I've noticed him flirting with some freshman, so I'm not sure if there's a chance... but it's worth a try, I guess. Thanks again and I'd appreciate any other advice that anyone has to offer.

elrp2 · Sep 6, 2004, 01:19 PM

Well, like you said, he's a natural flirt so it doesn't necessarily mean he likes this freshman girl.

Try with him and if it doesn't progress it's not meant to be. I've found that fate has it's way of working things out if they're supposed to be. Good luck :)

linz_legrand · Sep 6, 2004, 04:41 PM

Thanks again elrp2, I really enjoy your advise!

I did him a favor the other day, so I'm in his good graces for sure now! I don't know if anything will come of it, but I hope that he'll think better of me now (not that he thought bad of me in the first place, but favors add up!). I'll keep you posted if anything new happens! ;)

I'm open to anyone else's opinion on this -- I can use all the help I can get!