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hollybarry08 · May 28, 2010, 05:00 PM

I made a statement that my son should make a trip to another state for his job to pick up parts for his work because he needed to get away because of a breakup from his girlfriend. I said that to one of his coworkers wives and the coworker told my son that I wanted him to work in another state and move there because he is bothering me.
My son would not talk to me for days and I finally got it out of him what happened but he called me a liar and will not talk to me for weeks now. He is almost 24 and moved out 2 days ago. I fell terrible and miss him. I would have helped him move and etc but he comes in the house to get his stuff and won't even look at me or act like I am even alive. I have done everything I could possible do for him. I helped him with school loans, given him money, bought him clothes, paid for his car insurance, phone, food.
I feel myself getting very depressed over it. I am not a liar and it didn't happen that way at all. I have three sons but the older two don't want to here about it.
I am so sad and cry a lot. I feel I need help... help me please.

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2010, 05:04 PM

He is probably upset because you shared his business with someone and that person did not have the common sense not to repeat it.

Give him some time. He s upset about his girl and angry.
Did you ask blabbermouth why she or he chose to repeat and mix up what you said?

hollybarry08 · May 28, 2010, 05:08 PM

Yes I did ask blabbermouth but the wife said the guys tease each other a lot.

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2010, 05:18 PM

That is no excuse this person should not have repeated it.
He is upset about the girl and your discussing it with his coworker.
He'll get over it.
Apologize for discussing his business with someone else because that was wrong, and then leave him alone and let him cool off.
At 24 it's time for him to fly the coop anyway.

hollybarry08 · May 28, 2010, 05:23 PM

Your right homegirl... it is time for him to go... I just wanted it on better terms. I thought he was making progress growing up but then he takes a step backwards. I did apologize a couple of times but he said I was turning all around and that I was a liar. I feel terrible because he won't believe his own mother. I have never lied to him. I guess I just need to keep busy and pray for the him come around. I miss him so bad.

Homegirl 50 · May 28, 2010, 05:27 PM

Yeah well you just pray for him and let him go. Him calling you a liar is disrespectful so he needs to go anyway.
Hopefully he'll cool off realize how badly he behaved after you apologised and will be fine.

My daughter left college and moved under ugly terms but she went back to school, things with the family healed, she graduated and all is well.
I wish you well

Wondergirl · May 28, 2010, 05:32 PM

Originally Posted by hollybarry08

I am so sad and cry alot. I feel i need help....help me please.

This is going to take a lot of courage, but I'm betting it will be the best thing you could do. Make an 180-degree turn and be happy again. Hum while you fold the laundry and put it away, watch TV shows you used to enjoy (lots of reruns coming on now, so here's your chance to watch "Modern Family"), go to the library and pick out a couple of new book by James Patterson or Jodi Picoult, bake cookies and take them to a neighbor who has little kids. In other words, get back into life. And do things for other people. Become a volunteer at an animal shelter or at the library or at a hospital. Reclaim your life.

Will you begin to do that? For me? For yourself? What can you do first? Let's make a plan and get this show on the road!

Jake2008 · May 28, 2010, 06:42 PM

I wonder if he hadn't been thinking about moving out anyway, and this was just the catalyst he needed to go.

I think that you were presumptuous in stepping into his private life, and making it your business in the first place. I know that it was well intentioned, but gossip is gossip, and you shared some intimate details about him and his girlfriend, to his co-workers, and that spreads like the 'telephone game'. By the time the story is repeated enough times, it is nowhere near what was told.

The blabbermouth did nothing that you shouldn't have expected when you decided to speak about your son. Unless she was a very good, honest and long time friend, I don't see why you had the need to do that. Was it to put in a good word for him to go out of state for a change of pace? I would have been upset if my mother had done what you did. Mortified is more like it.

The plus side is, he will get over this. He likely feels that he doesn't want to get into it with you because it doesn't change what you did, no matter how you see blabbermouth as being the one to blame here.

You might start with a simple apology and tell him that you realize now that you crossed the line, and shared personal information with his co-workers, and what motivated you- if anything.

Maybe you just couldn't help yourself and saw an opportunity to 'help' make things easier for him. If that is the case, I would tell him that too.

And then promise that any further personal information he shares with you in confidence won't become the topic de jour around the water cooler at work.

hollybarry08 · May 29, 2010, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yeah well you just pray for him and let him go. Him calling you a liar is disrespectful so he needs to go anyway.
Hopefully he'll cool off realize how badly he behaved after you apologised and will be fine.

My daughter left college and moved under ugly terms but she went back to school, things with the family healed, she graduated and all is well.
I wish you well

I am sorry to hear that happened to you. I am glad she graduated and all is well. Thanks so much for reading.. god bless you.