Check out some similar questions!

starsbooty · Dec 8, 2006, 04:16 PM

Okay thanks so much for the responses earlier they really help...

Now I have been with my boyfriend for 3 almost 4 years. 2 years serious, we both were young and cheated in the past but I can't stop accusing him. He lives with me, we do everything together so what the heck is going on? I don't think he's cheating but I can't help but to say things like, " oh you were probably with some other girl" "why are you lying" when I know he's not... why can't I fully trust him? I want to so bad... :eek:

Geoffersonairplane · Dec 8, 2006, 05:57 PM

Originally Posted by starsbooty

okay thanks so much for the responses earlier they really help...

now i have been with my boyfriend for 3 almost 4 years. 2 years serious, we both were young and cheated in the past but i can't stop accusing him. he lives with me, we do everything together so what the heck is going on? i dont think he's cheating but i can't help but to say things like, " oh you were probably with some other girl" "why are you lying" when i know hes not...why can't i fully trust him? i want to so bad....:eek:

I assume from what you write that you cheated on each other. I imagine that your inability to trust him stems from what you and he did in the past. I don't think that you have fully forgiven him and you are still dwelling on the past.

What you both did to each other was wrong but I believe nobody is perfect and we all fall short of perfection. This does not justify what you both did, it is wrong to cheat on someone regardless. Everyone (almost everyone) deserves a second chance to make changes and to build a better future.

Try to let go of what happened in the past and instead look to the future. By accusing him of cheating, you could end up actually making it into a reality by pushing him away. Unless you have concrete evidence that the past is being repeated, you are just dwelling on past news.

Life is too short for this and relationships are hard work without carrying all this baggage around.

Let it go or say goodbye to this relationship.

s2tp · Dec 8, 2006, 06:12 PM

Bravo Geoffersonairplane, can I call you Geoff?:) (I have to spread reputation' so I couldn't rate you... either way I agree!

I read this question earlier but I just didn't know how to respond... I think you said it all very well!

Starsbooty

You need to decide if you can let this go or not... he doesn't seem to be holding the grudge on you, so why are you holding it on him? It sounds insecure of you... Can you talk with him and tell him you don't mean those things but they just seem to slip out... maybe he will be able to make you feel more secure...

Best of Luck

Geoffersonairplane · Dec 8, 2006, 06:16 PM

Yes by all means, call me Geoff..

Thanks for the approval of the response too.

chuff · Dec 8, 2006, 11:48 PM

I don't think you can trust him because you can't trust yourself. At some level I believe that you think you might still cheat on him and if that is so then you also have to believe he's going to cheat on you. Your brain certifies this belief with the past actions of both you cheating on each other.

talaniman · Dec 9, 2006, 12:42 PM

If he doesn't knock you for your past why knock him? You really need to work on this problem. How much of this do you think he will put up with?

s_cianci · Dec 10, 2006, 02:54 PM

I agree with the other posters. Come to terms with what happened in the past but put it behind you. Otherwise you'll end up destroying this relationship of 4 years.

starsbooty · Dec 15, 2006, 01:45 PM

Thanks.. well, its not only him I don't trust, I don't trust anybody.. I know a whole lot of baggage... and I know I will never cheat.. there is nobody else for me.. I will try my best to let this go... in the mean time he says he'll tell me to stop before I get myself worked up for nothing. Also he says he will laugh, not at this problem I have but at what is being said...