[Petrus516]

I have lived with Bipolar disorder since 1994. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 14 years but my wife recently declared that she is done with the bipolar drama, mood swings, anger episodes and loss of sex drive. She plans to divorce me unless I can control the bipolar issues, even when she agrees that they can only be managed and not cured. I am compliant on meds, support my family well but have had to adjust and scale back my personal life to stay healthy. It feels like my wife is having a mid-life crisis and wants to simply escape the pressure of dealing with my illness. I still love her and want to stay in the marriage but realize that it may end. I have a young daughter who will be devastated and I am saddened by the impending loss. There is a hope for counseling but all signs point to the end of our marriage, albeit on a friendly basis. I love my wife and therefore support her decision even if it means the end of our relationship. Any advice or counsel would be appreciated.

[Jake2008]

You have been bi-polar, longer than you have been married, so all she knows is you with this diagnosis. At some point it must have been better managed, I presume. As you said:

"my wife recently declared that she is done with the bipolar drama, mood swings, anger episodes and loss of sex drive. She plans to divorce me unless I can control the bipolar issues, even when she agrees that they can only be managed and not cured..."

I doubt that your wife thinks your symptoms are cureable, but I have to wonder why you seem to have so many symptoms that are not under control.

Her having a mid-life crisis is understandable if your description of how she sees you is anywhere near accurate. It is interesting that you see her having the problem, when it is you that needs to change.

What have you done to address the issues. When is the last time you saw your Doctor and described the symptoms you show such as mood swings, anger episodes and loss of sex drive.

You may think that others are responding to you inappropriately, but a young child witnessing these episodes, is faced with stress and coping with your mood swings too.

Before you lose it all, consider and re-read what you have written and see if you can't see the denial of the seriousness of your actions, or what the consequences of not dealing with them has resulted in.

Please see your Doctor or Psychiatrist to evaluate your bi-polar, because it seems to me that after 16 years since you were diagnosed, you do not sound like someone who is in control of it.