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ZoeMarie · May 25, 2010, 04:08 PM

Is there anyone else on here that thinks taking a break is absolutely ridiculous? I read more and more questions about a person's bf/gf/fiance/spouse, etc wanting a break. I would never tell my husband that I wanted a break when things get tough. I think it's just one of the most selfish things someone can do. I believe that you either want to work through your problems with the person you're with or you don't. If every time things got rough in a relationship we all took a break instead of working through things, we would all be single and not learn a dang thing about what it takes to make a relationship work. I think that if a person really thinks they need a break, what they really need is a break up. Am I the only one that feels this way?

I wish · May 25, 2010, 06:19 PM

There are different types of breaks.

Unilateral breaks
Wanting to put the other person on hold as a backup plan. While the person out searching for something or someone else, they leave the other person hanging as a safety net. That's not fair.

Mutual break
If you're on the same page when taking a break, then it could work. Sometimes a time out can help cool the emotional dust so that when you find each other again, it will be more objective. So some good can come out of a break.

Ideally, couples should continue to work together to sort things out, but things aren't always that simple.

Kitkat22 · May 25, 2010, 06:29 PM

Some of these people have been told by their partner they want no contact and they need a break.

Some are in abusive relationships with someone and we try to help them see a break or no contact is the best thing.

friend4u178 · May 25, 2010, 07:19 PM

Most of the people we get on here are told by their partner they want a break.

Generally meaning , I want to break up with you but I feel too guilty to just spit it out.

Then the cycle begins , and we begin to help them through the ensuing turmoil :cool:

Kitkat22 · May 25, 2010, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

Most of the people we get on here are told by their partner they want a break.

Generally meaning , I want to break up with you but I feel too guilty to just spit it out.

Then the cycle begins , and we begin to help them through the ensuing turmoil :cool:

I agree with what you said about married people. I think if you tell your spouse you want a break, then something is definitely wrong. If they want a break.. it may end in divorce.

Lots of people just as "M" said, don't want to just spit it out they want out.. so they say.. I need a break. It does seem to be going on a lot.

I would rather my husband be truthful and just say, "I hate you..I want out". Course he'd never do that.. nor would I. I guess some people need to feel there's a chance and some need to be let down easily.

talaniman · May 25, 2010, 07:56 PM

I think mature couples when they have had enough, or are overwhelmed, simply go visit friends, and family and do there own thing. But most mean let stop with the romance, and just be friends until we find something better to do.

Not very honest, or mature.

Back in the day, a break was "Adiós, and see ya, hate to be ya"

Break = Break up, and that means disappear and do your own thing. Nowadays they hook up and buy stuff together, and let the wind blow to hard, somebody is out of here. What a waste.

aimee_tt · May 25, 2010, 08:09 PM

Sometimes you need to be away from someone to really understand and appreciate how much they mean to you.

A break can be a good thing if used the right way.

Kitkat22 · May 25, 2010, 08:13 PM

Originally Posted by aimee_tt

Sometimes you need to be away from someone to really understand and appreciate how much they mean to you.

A break can be a good thing if used the right way.

Yes it can, but if you are married.. I wouldn't take that idea very well. I would say "while you are on your break, I'll be at the lawyers office".:rolleyes:

aimee_tt · May 25, 2010, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Kitkat22

Yes it can, but if you are married..I wouldn't take that idea very well. I would say "while you are on your break, I'll be at the lawyers office".:rolleyes:

Yeah in marriage you should love the other person enough to last a life time. But 30 years down the track when your kids have grown up and moved out of home. Sometimes people lose themselves.

This happened to my mums friend. She left her husband to find her self. She was also suffering depresion. But in a month she realised she needed him.

She didn't leave him to have other relationships but to work out where she was in life and what she wanted. He was what she still wanted.

Kitkat22 · May 25, 2010, 08:30 PM

Originally Posted by aimee_tt

Yeah in marriage you should love the other person enough to last a life time. But 30 years down the track when your kids have grown up and moved out of home. Sometimes people lose them selves.

This happened to my mums friend. She left her husband to find her self. She was also suffering depresion. But in a month she realised she needed him.

She didnt leave him to have other relationships but to work out where she was in life and what she wanted. He was what she still wanted.

You are right. My husband and I have been married a long time and we argue. He is my best friend, my lover, my heart. We have four grown children and he still brings out the best in me. He loves me and I know he feels the same way I do. Marriage is not giving up when things don't go perfectly. It's the storms and heartaches that bring you closer.