[dinana]

How do I deal with my brothers death?he was my parents first born ,which was the only son.am in so much pain cause for starters I don't believe he is gone.I've never experienced death of a loved one before,am clueless I don't know how to comfort everyone.am in great depression cause we used to be so close,he was the only one who got my jokes.he was my role model.we wher three at home,him being the only boy,the one I and my sister always looked up on,he was very young,22 years of age.the world just seem un worthy to be in without him,He was my parents baby.we all thought he was courageous and wasn't afraid of anything.He was a Hero.Will I and my sister ever get through this?I really need help cause I feel am going to go crazy.PLEASE HELP!!

[JudyKayTee]

Everyone grieves in a different way, a different time frame. There is no right, no wrong way to handle this death.

Sometimes joining a group for survivors helps; sometimes friends will just listen; sometimes family is very supportive.

And, yes, you will get through it - basically you have no choice. The question is when and how and you need to find what works for you.

Some people find great comfort in religion.

[shannongilmour]

Hello, I am sorry for your loss.

Somehow as each day moves on, you find the strength to endure. It isn't easy and some days will seem like they have no point, but finding a way to manage and cope is a way to give your brother's voice back to him when the pain was too great for him to endure. You have wonderful memories of your brother, and this is something that the pain and tragedy of suicide cannot take away. This is a time where you all need each other and you all will heal and mend differently, the best thing to do is to give each other space, time and lend yourself to patience for them and for yourself.
Talking, when you are ready helps. You have feelings to and you are entitled to question his motives and actions and you are allowed to get angry. But staying angry gives yourself over to bitterness. So please allow yourself to forgive your brother for leaving this life as he did. He loved you fiercely and if he had another choice, he would have stayed. This pain over shadowed his love and it was too much for him to bare. He was courageous, he knew he was your hero and if he could tell you this, he would want you to know that living this life is hard, but through his death living is worth all the joy and pain in the world. In time, allow his voice to rise up through the large living you create for yourself. Shine in integrity and courage and be a sister to his memory... in time. You will get through, it won't be easy, but you are never alone. God Bless.