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    jmjoseph's Avatar
    jmjoseph Posts: 2,727, Reputation: 1244
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    #21

    May 22, 2010, 08:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jenniepepsi View Post
    i am not trying to start any arguments here, but i think alot of the members giving advice are forgetting that tinkerpuff had said they have known eachother for a long time, thru family, and know eachother very well. i know several instances where the boy IS interested in the younger girl.
    BUT a responsible respectful boy who accually DOES care, would wait.
    so the end response is still the same lol. not old enough yet. if its still the same when she grows up, then fine.
    but i think in a situation like this, its not always the boy being a perverted pedophile
    Jennie, No one is arguing here. She said that their fathers knew each other. That's it. I don't know where the "very well" and "long time, thru family" comes from. We didn't "forget" something that wasn't there.

    It doesn't matter if that was true. He is too old to be preying on an EIGHTH GRADER.
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #22

    May 22, 2010, 08:31 PM

    Tinker Tell this guy that you are not ready to date now.

    Tell him to come back in a few years. If he really likes you he will back off and wait his turn.

    If he pushes you more to go out with him, tell your dad. Im sure your dad will have something to say!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #23

    May 22, 2010, 10:18 PM

    You are a smart girl!
    tinkerpuff23's Avatar
    tinkerpuff23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #24

    May 23, 2010, 07:37 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by jmjoseph View Post
    Jennie, No one is arguing here. She said that their fathers knew each other. That's it. I don't know where the "very well" and "long time, thru family" comes from. We didn't "forget" something that wasn't there.

    It doesn't matter if that was true. He is too old to be preying on an EIGHTH GRADER.
    I'm in grade 10 LOL!! But I get your point totally. Thanks to all of you calling me a smart girl.Most girls my age would be all over this because " OH MY GOD a older guy is like totally interested in my!! YAY!!" you... ewww
    tinkerpuff23's Avatar
    tinkerpuff23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #25

    Jun 9, 2010, 09:27 PM
    I need help...
    Ok so. I am 15 years old and I am in love with a 20 year old. I am literally IN LOVE. You all are going to say " you are 15 you do not know love" well I do. It is not a crush at all. I have had crushes and they are like... "hmmmm he is sooo hot!!!!" I know its love because when I talk to him or see him I get the nicest feeling in my stomach and a fuzzy feeling in my chest.I think about talking with him.Nothing sexual. Of course I have thought about stuff like that,but its not always like that.He makes me so happy,I can't help but smile. We have talked forever and ever.It was a total mistake because of my brother.We started talking when I was 13 I think. He told me he loved me too,but doesn't want to date me mostly because he doesn't want my social life ruined.He said he would wait for me as long as when I turned 18 I still loved him. Tonight he asked me if I would marry him when I was of legal age. I told him I would. Is this wrong.I mean it feels so right.Im really confused because I don't know what people might say about it,you know? He left for awhile and we couldn't talk because he was on this job thing. It felt like my heart was exploding because I couldn't hear his voice :( He also hasn't tried kissing me or anything.he wants me to be comfortable. He said that he will not have sex till I'm older if I still do love him. I believe him. He never lies,he is that kind of person. Trust me.

    Tell me your views please...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #26

    Jun 9, 2010, 09:41 PM

    You said we shouldn't say it, but I will anyway. You're only 15. You really don't have any concept of what being in love really is. It's a fact. You may not like it. You may not agree with it, but it's a fact.

    I do believe that you think you're in love. I do believe that you think this will be forever. I'm betting that it won't.

    I have to ask. What in the world does a 20 year old have in common with a 15 year old? You may as well be 40 years apart in this stage of your lives.

    He works, you're in school. He can vote, you can't even drive. He's an adult, you're a child.

    What do you two talk about? I can't imagine you having anything to discuss with each other, unless he's extremely immature for his age.

    Bottom line, you can date whoever you want, unless your parents intervene, but have sex, and he's off to jail.

    Will other people find it odd? Yes. It's not natural for a 20 year old to be interested in a child.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #27

    Jun 9, 2010, 09:44 PM

    I thought you said he was willing to wait for sex until you're comfortable.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ay-474812.html
    aimee_tt's Avatar
    aimee_tt Posts: 340, Reputation: 143
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    #28

    Jun 9, 2010, 09:47 PM

    So your 15, he is 20. He wants to marry you when your older but he hasn't tried to kiss you yet and your not dating him.

    So basically nothing is happening and he says he will wait for you.

    How will he feel if you decide to get a boyfriend other than him in the next 3 years?

    How would you feel if he got another girlfriend other than you in the next 3 years?

    You can put your life on hold for him.

    If he really likes you he will push his feelings aside and wait till your 18 and not feed you lines of marry me when your of age to keep you hooked!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #29

    Jun 9, 2010, 09:48 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerpuff23 View Post
    im in grade 10 LOL!!! but I get your point totally. Thanks to all of you calling me a smart girl.Most girls my age would be all over this because " OH MY GOD a older guy is like totally interested in my!! YAY!!" ya...ewww
    Seems like you changed your mind.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/help-478158.html

    Also, you both had a birthday. You're now 15 and he's 20, is that right?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #30

    Jun 10, 2010, 03:41 AM
    Threads merged

    And now this boy is "super horny"?
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ay-474812.html
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #31

    Jun 10, 2010, 05:35 AM

    You may well be in love with this guy, and maybe for the first time in your life. You may well know it for a fact.

    But what you need are more facts to think about. Love does make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, so does lust, and you are at the age that maybe you cannot tell the difference. Fact is over TIME the lust fades, and the love will grow. But it takes TIME for that to happen, so waiting until it does is, the wise thing to do before you just accept it as being the real thing. That could take a year. Not just hours, or days. Especially when you keep feeding it with talk, and actions. Like you are doing now.

    Another fact to think about is love and lust makes us see things that may NOT be true. This guy is a man by law, with many options as far as females go, yet he has asked you, a young teen age girl to marry him. WHY?? He may well have true feelings, but his lust is more developed than yours, and has more outlets, but you don't, because then you would see that promising to marry someone at 15, for all the fuzzy feelings, and how right it seems is not practical. Just stop and think for a minute that its 3 years of your life that you will have to be true to him, and even though he says he will wait, because he doesn't want to ruin your social life, that exactly what will happen, because you will not be able to learn, and grow through some very important teen age experiences with others your age, the dating, and hanging out that grooms you for adult hood, and the normal interactions with those your age, who will have those warm fuzzy feeling for you, and you for them.

    Add to that the FACT you are already starting to play with the idea of SEX, in your dreams maybe, and over the phone. Trust me Tinker, that will only get stronger, and as your already aware that lust has many of your friends that also are as in love as you are (so they think) doing the adult thing, and exploring, and experimenting with their new found feelings, and urges that they are discovering within them. Just as you are. Too bad at the age you are that, you don't quite have the maturity to handle all those feelings yet. Even at 18, many have not learned how to handle those feelings, and just read a few stories here on this site, and you will see that even adults, both old and young, have great difficulty handling those feelings, So no doubt you, and this 20 year old guy are probably just acting on feelings that make you FEEL really good, but neither off you have the SKILLS, or emotional TOOLS to handle those very strong intense feelings.

    Sorry this is getting long, but let me just point out one more fact, At 15, and 20, very few young people have a clue as to what they want to do with their future lives, or where they want to be when they are say... 30. It's a fact for us all we cannot see that far ahead, and don't know what going to happen as we get there, and we don't care when we are your age. All young people care about are those feelings, and as you get older, the freedom of having those feelings, and being on your own to do whatever you want.

    So take into account as you wrestle with those feelings the fact that they have consequences, that you will be responsible for, like babies and other things that may change your life, and not always for the best.

    Bottom line here, take time to get the facts, all of them, and don't just go with the warm fuzzy feelings that seem to make everything you do seem so right with this guy, because you smile and enjoy now, but can pay later by giving in to what you feel. Like the phone sex thing, you think is the right thing to do when you're so in love. Be careful dear Tinker, it leads to a lot of things you know nothing about, but will pay dearly for.

    Yes this love you have can distract you from following your hopes, and dreams, and blind you to the facts about reality. That's when maturity kicks in, and that warm fuzzy feeling in your belly becomes a lot of hard work to survive. Thats how we know that you THINK you're in love, because all you have are feelings, and haven't even thought about the facts of your situation yet.

    No one has asked you what your parents think, but I saved that for last since I seriously doubt they know what we do about you, and this guy.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #32

    Jun 10, 2010, 07:04 AM

    You are a 15 year old in lust with a 20 year old who has been playing games with you for a good while. That is sick!
    While you are having these lusty feelings I would imagine he is too but he probably has a girl closer to his age to take care of it, but if he gets the nerve and the chance it will be you and I don't think it will be because he loves you.
    As a woman and a mom I find it appalling and creepy this 20 year old is playing these types of games with you.
    I wonder what your fathers would say if they knew what is gong on.
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #33

    Jun 10, 2010, 07:51 AM

    No matter if you think you've been through stuff most adults haven't, there's life skills, communication skills, you won't have much up top about those.

    Also experience comes with age as does wisdom.

    Anyway the short answer is no you cannot date a 20 yr old Man
    You're under age.


    And sex is illegal and a Big Huge NO NO.
    tinkerpuff23's Avatar
    tinkerpuff23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #34

    Jun 10, 2010, 07:58 AM

    Well yeah Altenwag. Its been happening for awhile but its completely different with lets say.. mark* the other guy jimmy* only really actually wants sex.That I found out a little bit after I asked that question. But mark* is way more mature about it,if that makes aby sense. I said "ewww" to jimmy because that's him... ewww.There seems to be something with mark* and I don't even know why the hell I ask questions on here if people just go and paint every teenager with the same frickin paintbrush.
    tinkerpuff23's Avatar
    tinkerpuff23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #35

    Jun 10, 2010, 08:01 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    No matter if you think youve been through stuff most adults havent, theres life skills, communication skills, you wont have much up top about those.

    Also experience comes with age as does wisdom.

    Anyway the short answer is no you cannot date a 20 yr old Man
    youre under age.


    And sex is illegal and a Big Huge NO NO.
    I do not want to have sex with him.He hasn't even tried.I DO NOT want to date him.I did not say anything about dating him.Thank-you positiveparent but please read the whole question and don't assume Im going to jump his bones and date him, thanks : )
    tinkerpuff23's Avatar
    tinkerpuff23 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #36

    Jun 10, 2010, 08:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    You are a 15 year old in lust with a 20 year old who has been playing games with you for a good while. That is sick!
    While you are having these lusty feelings I would imagine he is too but he probably has a girl closer to his age to take care of it but if he gets the nerve and the chance it will be you and I don't think it will be because he loves you.
    As a woman and a mom I find it appalling and creepy this 20 year old is playing these types of games with you.
    I wonder what your fathers would say if they knew what is gong on.
    Ok... I do not have "lusty" feelings for him.Sure I might think about him once and awhile , buts it not " sex sex sex sex" . FYI he doesn't have a girl to take care of.And I really don't care if any of you all don't believe that.Sure whatever if he dates a girl in the 2 and a half years.Big whoop. And Homegirl nobody plays games with me.Its got nothing to do with games.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #37

    Jun 10, 2010, 09:23 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by positiveparent View Post
    Anyway the short answer is no you cannot date a 20 yr old Man
    youre under age.

    And sex is illegal and a Big Huge NO NO.
    There are no laws that say she can't date. The laws only refer to sexual activity.

    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerpuff23 View Post
    I dont even know why the hell I ask questions on here if people just go and paint every teenager with the same frickin paintbrush.
    No we don't paint everyone with the same brush. But we are aware that everyone tells us how mature they are and how much they have gone through when they don't really have a clue. You haven't given us any proof that you are different, just the opposite.

    And now we find that it appears you have two men you are string along (mark and jimmy? ).
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #38

    Jun 10, 2010, 01:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerpuff23 View Post
    Ok soo.....in canada you can date somebody much older then you when you are 14.You can't have sex though.At 16 sex is legal then. We have been talking and texting for awhile.His dad is friends with my dad and so on.He asked if I would be comfortable dating him..I said "idk" because im not sure what society would say.Im pretty level headed at my age(I know lots of people are going to be like,"no you just think you are") I have been through stuff probally most adults havent. Im just asking what society thinks.
    Then I guess I must have developed word blindness over night, you asked I replied. I can see you're so mature and very grown up.
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
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    #39

    Jun 10, 2010, 02:23 PM
    Due to Alias abuse by tinkerpuff23 this thread is

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