Check out some similar questions!

showmelove · May 15, 2010, 11:01 AM

Ok so here's my situation!

I went out with a guy for a year a couple of years ago and I was crazy about him. He was gorgeous,funny and we got on so well but then he dumped me for this other girl and I was heartbroken.

Now it's a couple of years on and for the last few weeks I can't stop thinking about him! I even dream about him! The problem is I have this fantastic boyfriend who I love so much but I would just love one of sin with my ex. I know he would be interested because he has tried to get in touch with me once or twice but I was always with my boyfriend and I would never cheat on him because I coulnt do that to him...

I usually see my ex around and every time I do I get butterflies in my stomach.

I still fancy the arse off my ex!!

Please help my head is wrecked...

What do I do?

roxypox · May 15, 2010, 01:48 PM

well.. from what I hear at least. Some people sometimes start to think a lot about x's because they were the could have beens, the what ifs.

Some even forget the bad and start remembering only the good, when some time has passed... maybe this is what you're doing even though you seem to be fully aware of what was and how it ended...

But if he dumped you for someone else... well what is there to miss? He seems untrustworthy...

How about trying to put him out of your mind? Remember the bad stuff and how he BROKE your heart...

Do you think you could put him out of your mind? And how do you think you can do it?

Showme_urmove · May 15, 2010, 02:08 PM

OK I'm going to be straight up with you.

You said you would never cheat on your current BF but I know for a fact if your ex ever to reconcile and be with you, you would dumped your BF in a heartbeat.
Your ex left you for someone else and seems to me like you will do the same for your BF. Its not fair for him to invest day by day on this relationship if your heart is else where.
Do him a favor and dumped him before things gets out of control.

Like what roxypox said you're the what if or oculd have been person at this moment. He left you for someone better, now he doesn't have anyone in his life, and his going to try do his thing on you, but then once he finds someone better then what, his going to do the same over and over again as long as you let him.
I'm not trying to be mean but, your like a 7 to him but when he finds a 10 he goes and dumped you like nothing, then when that 10 is gone he will go back to a 7 and try to be with you.

Why don't you be with a guy that sees you as a 10 and will cherish you in every way. But if you do have this lust of his gorgeous face then just go and dumped your boyfriend cause if you don't there is no different between you and your ex.

talaniman · May 15, 2010, 04:35 PM

Harshness warning

I think you're absolutely whacked to even consider having anything to do with a guy who has already treated you like a careless piece of meat.

Unless you get off on being used. Now that's different, so if you would never cheat on your b/f, why even ask what you should do?

You could act like a mature female who has a boyfriend, and not some hot strumpet looking for a secret roll in the hay!!

( Of course he is interested in using you some more!!!! Any fool who gets used, likes it, and comes back for more will surely be obliged. )

Jake2008 · May 15, 2010, 10:19 PM

You really can control your emotions, and your behaviour. Back up the truck for a few minutes and really think about what you are wanting to do.

He knows that you are involved with another, exclusively, yet, you imply that he would jump your bones in a heartbeat. That he calls you, and puts you in an awkward position in the first place, says much about his character don't you think? Did you tell your boyfriend about the call from the x? I don't think any good man would think too kindly of that behaviour in another man.

Before he dumped you, he had somebody else in the picture (I presume), as men like him, tend to operate the same way. The relationship lasts only as long as HIS needs are met, and investment in a long term monagamous relationship is not something that he's either interested in, or capable of.

He is most likely involved as you lay dreaming about him next to your boyfriend, who you characterize as a fantastic man that you love dearly. While the ex has rung your bell, you are emotionally leaping from cloud to cloud; take a good look- they are storm clouds.

Most likely your feelings are so intense with the ex, because you never resolved the breakup.

Get yourself a diary, and start writing out the relationship you had with him. Include what type of person he was, and likely is, and try to picture yourself in for the long haul with a man that will likely break your heart again. Be honest, get the feelings out, and deal with them.

If you are a few taco's short a combination plate, you may very well decide that you cannot control yourself, and start an affair. I guarantee you, it will end badly, and you will find yourself without either one.

Your boyfriend will likely move on because he knows he can't compete with this fantasy you have going, and the dream man ex, will be out of the picture as soon as he decides he bored and wants somebody new to please him.

Get over the ex, concentrate on all the good things you have in the man you have now, and learn from past mistakes, to make your current relationship, even better.

showmelove · May 16, 2010, 10:47 AM

Thanks everyone for your support and answers..
A lot of things ye have said are true but then again a lot aren't!

I would never cheat on my boyfriend I love him waaaay too much, it's just really lust I have for my ex. Even if my ex text me and said " wanna meet up?" I would simply reply and say " Can't sorry I have a Bf" but then I think would it hurt to just meet up with him and catch up on the good old days?. Because I really would love to!

And I'm not just going to end it with my Bf of 3 years over this "fantasy" as ye say... that would be a mistake! I just want to get over him but I don't know if I ever will! :(

talaniman · May 16, 2010, 10:57 AM

You will never be over him if you are in touch with him. That's a simple fact, and you would set yourself up for the very famous "one thing leads to another" scenario. That's what lust does, makes normally common sense people put themselves in stupid situations.

Please don't go there.

roxypox · May 16, 2010, 11:12 AM

Tal: Had to spread the rep. But well said! (and I love the harshness warning in other post!. genius!)

Showmelove: Like tal said, if you meet up with him you will not get over him... that will just be playing into the fantasy... I also agree with Tal that it won't lead to anything good!

You seriously need to be proactive and work to get him out of your head, cause even if you say you would never leave your BF for the X its still very unfair to your BF to lust for the x.. Think about it. If your BF started lusting for his x how would you feel about it?