[onlineguy]

You misread it hun...
She said not to walk away and never try again...meaning Do not walk away and do not give up!!

Ah! I see... Doh!

Thanks for all the comments, but here is a thing. You say not to give up, which is fair enough but if :

Your not receiving indications of interest back should you stop.

If she goes with someone else whilst your trying to win her over (so to speak) should you stop.

It feels like a very fine line between liking her, pursuing her or making a fool of yourself, no one wants to make a fool of themselves.

[Michelle0410]

Ah! i see... Doh!

Thanks for all the comments, but here is a thing. You say not to give up, which is fair enough but if :

Your not recieving indications of interest back should you stop.

If she goes with someone else whilst your trying to win her over (so to speak) should you stop.

It feels like a very fine line between liking her, persuing her or making a fool of yourself, no one wants to make a fool of themselves.

When you say you are pursuing her, have you told her that you are interested in her or are you just sitting back and waiting for her to tell you she likes you?

I know you don't want to make a fool of yourself, maybe she assumes you are just frineds and has no idea about your feelings for her, sometimes we are blind to things like that. You don't want to stalk her but of course if she is not intrested you don't want to make things awkward and you odn't want to mess up the friendship, so just use your best judgement, if she blows it off the first time you bring it up, stay her friend but don't give up until you honestly believe that there sin't a chance for you to be together, then move on...

[GlindaofOz]

Ah! i see... Doh!

Thanks for all the comments, but here is a thing. You say not to give up, which is fair enough but if :

Your not recieving indications of interest back should you stop.

Yes because then you become that weird stalker guy

If she goes with someone else whilst your trying to win her over (so to speak) should you stop.

Yes. Because then she is not interested in you she is interested in the person she is dating and you should never try to break up a coupling

It feels like a very fine line between liking her, persuing her or making a fool of yourself, no one wants to make a fool of themselves.

If she does any of the above then move on. If she is not responsive to you then she is not interested. If she has a boyfriend move on.

[nicespringgirl]

U are not a fool OG, the ones that have never tried are!:)

There is really nothing you can do expect for asking her out again. ( no more then 3 times)

If she doesn't tell you what on earth is going on with her, do u have any chance.

She is too complicated then, unless you like to keep the mind game.

If I were you, I will problly drop my interest on her.

If she tells you eventually, she would like to go out with you then that's is perfect!:)

[onlineguy]

As a man I want a woman who has certain qualities of taking pride in her appearance, making and effort to look good, a good friendly personality and who is interested in me. --- If she demonstrates these qualities of value to me then you will want her.

If she does not demonstrate these qualities then I do not want her.. She is not of value.

Therefor I look for someone who is demonstrating these qualities. That is what I look for in a mate.

The girl who demonstrates these qualities the most is who I will chose.

=========

A Woman wants a man who has certain qualities. If He demonstrates these qualities of value to her then she will want him.

If he does not demonstrate these qualities then she will not want him.. He is not of value.

She looks for someone who is demonstrating these qualities. That is what she looks for in a mate.

The Man who demonstrates these qualities the most is who she will chose.

======

My question is this.

For me to chose a woman I need her to display these qualities of value to me, but women do not do this. (initaite)

Instead they wait for men to Initaite and display these qualities of value that she wants. (Hence pick up artists !). (Jerks etc).

What is it that makes the woman more of value than the man ? We both want fundementally the same things. So why does a man have to do the initiating? Why is it not equal - women generally don't do it.

The only thing I can think of (theory I have) is that men are more visual than women and go for looks as a quality of value above personality as a quality of value (initially) so they have a desire to initaite and be interested in a good looking woman.

Whereas women go for attractive personality qualities of value, over looks first and therefore will only initiate or be interested once they have recognised these personality qualities of value.

---- Therefore if a guy does not initaite and display these personality qualities of value that she likes (Peacocking) she will have no interest in him. Because his appearance is not a priority. Even if he is really the most suitable partner for her.

Therefore if this theory is correct that is why women do not have time for shy guys ! And prefer Guys who are able to demonstrate these qualities of value. Even if the guy is one for sleeping around or is giving her a lot of bull to sleep with her.

(Most guys look at this situation with disbelief ! They know the guy is using her for just sex and that the shy guy is really into her and they cannot understand why she choses not to see this and then complains about being used).

What are your thoughts on this. Girls as well as guys

Does this theory make sense and is there some evolutionary aspect of this.

Fertile woman = looks Stable provider = personality traits.!

[onlineguy]

Men iniate with women based on her looks, because instinctivly the better looking the more fertile.

Whereas women appear to go for the attraction to the personality traits in men above the physical attributes. And don't initate or show interest until these personality traits have been demonstrated to her by the man.


If that is the case, then why is that ? Or is it a case of women will simply go for the man who shows her the most interest and attention.

[Haplo]

Isn't this basically the same question you asked in your previous post?

You realize (hopefully) that the question(s) themselves are not accurate? You can't summarize the actions of either sex so simply?

[O_Troubles]

Don't fully understand the question but because way back when the stronger fitter males survived and were the bread winners, I think it's a instinct in women to look for the top dog to provid healthy kids and a stable life (i.e. good income, a good provider, protection) and men do the same to women the better they look I guess they think we could bear kids and take better care of them cook better please better in bed etc... is that close to the question you were asking?

[Jiser]

If a women fancies the person then they will go for them! Same with men.. Surely no/

[O_Troubles]

Not if they have some already

[Jiser]

Ahh this is true! Unless... they are serial cheater! < BAD person

[michealb]

The reason is that for a long time women were considered the property of men. When you go the store to buy a toaster you don't let the toaster pick who it goes home with*. So it was never proper for the women to choose the man because of this and despite huge advances in women's right we still have elements of claiming women as property in our culture.

*Disclaimer: I don't feel women are property or a toaster. Just trying to explain what how things were.

[O_Troubles]

True or if there are interrelationship issues or they may not cheat they could swing or 3- sum, a women will not always go for the hunk now a days he is perceived to be the arrogent, self centered, arse hole, and stuck up women are high needs if they are even remotly pretty

[Ash123]

I know some woman who would make great toasters!

[talaniman]

I feel that the big thing, is for people to hook up, and HAVE some one, and sometimes, we don't take the time to make a good choice, or we move to fast making the choice we made, the ONE, without taking the time to really find out. Some times we convince ourselves of having more than what is really there, and get so hurt when we find out the truth. Most of us screw up early, just because of experience, and that sucks as we learn about our feelings and the feelings of others. Too often we have preconceived notions of what we want, and make all kinds of demands, and have such high expectations we put on others, and have no clue, when they can't meet the standards we set for them. Men chase and women are chased, is what society teaches, and we catch hell trying to figure out the right way to do things. There is nothing in stone, so the best way is do the best you can, and try to be happy with the results. If not, don't be afraid to try it again.

[talaniman]

There is no such thing as a cut and dried answer for humans and there feelings.

[GlindaofOz]

Sure we can be initially attracted someone because of how they look but as we get to know people those feelings can change. I know if I meet an attractive man and as I get to know him I see that he is unintelligent or mean or has any myriad of negative personality traits that person becomes significantly less attractive. I would imagine for men it would be the same. I couldn't see a man staying with a stupid, racist, mean women just because she was attractive.

You can never speak in generalities when it comes to explaining human behavior. Unfortunately we are not so simple.

[nicespringgirl]

Yes, do you best anyway. U do it for yourself, not for the woman.

[O_Troubles]

w00t go complex

[onlineguy]

The reason is that for a long time women were considered the property of men. When you go the the store to buy a toaster you don't let the toaster pick who it goes home with*. So it was never proper for the women to choose the man because of this and despite huge advances in womens right we still have elements of claiming women as property in our culture.

*Disclaimer: I don't feel women are property or a toaster. Just trying to explain what how things were.

There are some very good replies here and I agree with all of them, but it would appear to me that woman's selection process is flawed !

By this I mean. I woman has pressure on her to look good to attract the attention of men. However when I put myself in a position of wanting a mate for other than sex, i.e. relationship, family etc then the conclusion I come to is that I want to get to know a person to see if that person has the qualities that I need / seek in a mate. Therefore the common sense, natural thing is to look around from the 1000 of women and select those that appear to have the qualities I seek, then initiate communication and check if that is the case before entering into a relationship.

However women do not do this. Instead a woman will make her self look good so she will attract the attention of males. She will not initaite connections/ communicaition with suitable males. Now males are attracted to physical appearance and have the desire to sow their seeds. So males who are interested in the girl just for sex will say anything she want to here to get into her pants, then they are gone.

However a guy who is genuinly interested in her will not just say anything to get into her pants and therefore she will actually dismiss him because he does not meet her selection process.