[Metalhead11592]

Dear Askmehelpdeskers,
Its been a while since I've posted but I'm in serious need of help with my girlfriend. She is a completely different person now than she was when we first were dating. She was passionate and kind, caring and sweet. Every night she would call me and we would talk for hours about anything, she would ask me how my day was and take true interest in my activities. Now she's very reluctant to call me and gets mad at me when I call her. She's always focused on making sure that she's happy whenever we hang out and could care less when I'm happy if at all. Last night I was feeling really down due to my grandfathers illness and my grandmother recently falling and breaking her hip. I called her and told her I was feeling down and she started yelling at me because of it. I then proceeded to tell her I was starting to feel suicidal because I felt like no one loved me and she then hung up on me. After being with her for 2+ years I'm really attached to her but I really don't think I can be with such a mean person who is so emotionally abusive and neglectful. She always comes to me when she's upset and I comfort her so its like I give and give and get nothing in return. HOW THE can I get her to love me like the way she used to.. what the happened that made her change so drastically.

[Romefalls19]

Sounds like this relationship has run it's course, if she isn't giving you the emotional support you need right now, perhaps she isn't worth keeping around. Try one last time to sit down and talk with her about how you are feeling, if she doesn't care too do it, then you have a decision to make.

[Metalhead11592]

I'm really at that point right now I just don't know how to approach her about telling her how I feel. Maybe something that will grab her attention some different way will help with getting her to care about me.

[Romefalls19]

If you're talking about suicide, that is definitely not the answer

[Metalhead11592]

Well that was one of the ideas I was considering but the last one.. I was hoping to get her to love me while I was still alive

[Romefalls19]

Think about positive things man, I've been down your road before. It's a dead end. Suicide is the most selfish way to go, you affect too many people, and all over a girl? Come on man, have some guts. There are a lot of girls out there

[Metalhead11592]

That's the really reaaaally sad part of the situation. She is the positive thing even though she is so mean and cruel to me she is so rarely nice to me I have to take it in for how I miss it. Like other women to me aren't attractive they don't make me feel the same way when I look at her. But as soon as she starts talking(nay yelling) its like a different person is there with a vengeance that is out to get me. I spent over 2+ years on her and over at least 5 thousand dollars and she doesn't even say thank you. I'm at this point looking for some way to salvage this relationship or just give up on it all.

[Romefalls19]

Here's what my dad told me when I was in my last relationship and kept trying to salvage it, If you're trying this hard, it's not working.

[Lucky098]

The Honeymoon effect.. Very deadly.

In the beginning of each relationship, our true selves are never shinning through. It's a good lure to get into a relationship. Once that honeymoon effect wears off, then your true self comes out.

Maybe she was never a nice person in the first place. Maybe she's no longer in love with you. Maybe she's cheating on you.

Whatever the cause of her drastic mood change, you can't handle it, nor should you have to. She's abusing your trust. Making you feel worthless because the one person who is suppose to pick up where everyone left off is neglecting you.

The healthiest thing for you to do, is to leave her. Its going to be hard, because you're going to have to cope with yourself, and re-discover who you are and what you want in life.. But without the continuous down trodden girlfriend pretending to love you, you may bounce back quickly.