[aimee_tt]

My boyfriend and I have just gone through a rough patch and there were tears from the both of us. But when I cry he gets an erection. He used to get embarrassed about it but now he tried to laugh it off. He doesn't feel any sexual feelings when I cry it just seems to have a mind of its own. Why is that? We would both like to know as he hates when it happens and I'm curious to know why it happens. He does get erections easy but when he lets his mind wonder or has something that stimulates him.

[CarrotTalker]

I used to get erections after solving a problem because I felt a deep emotional connection.

Maybe its something similar, except too preemptive?

He feels a deep connection with you and it turns on his "I want to make babies with this woman" mode?

It could be something totally different though, this is just me.

Does he have any other abnormal sexual behaviors? How is your sex with him in general?

[aimee_tt]

No he doesn't have any abnormal sexual behaviours. Our sex life is good. He is always willing to participate.

He doesn't get any feelings from the erection. He doesn't feel horny and doesn't like to see me cry. Its like it has a mind of its own and pops up.

[Larken85]

Sorrow is a stimulant in itself. Have you ever seen the movie where the guy goes around an pick up chicks at funerals? Its based on the idea that some women get super turned on and needy when sad. It's the same but opposite at weddings. I think that movie was actually called wedding crashers, Vince Van, Owen Wilson. Either way, perhaps its popping up because of pheramone that you are sending out without knowing it.

He would have no clue either, its sentless. It turns us on.

Another theory is perhaps he sees that you are in need and that in itself turns him on without thinking about it. He wants to help and be close, thuse the erection. He is thinking about holding you and feeling your skin, heck that's enough for me at times.

[aimee_tt]

Thanks heaps. We have searched the internet for answers but they all seem to think it means the guy has a thing for bondage. Which isn't the case.

At least now he won't be embarrassed next time. (I cry easy)

[Enigma1999]

Hello Aimee,

Even though I am a woman, I can relate.

When my husband and I would have heartfelt conversations, there would be some tears on his end, and for some reason it would turn me on. Especially if we had an argument and he would start to cry, that's when it would turn me on.

I never knew why I would, but I almost think that maybe the fact that I felt more dominating then he, or perhaps the fact that he was vulnerable did it. Could have been the fact that I wanted to ease his pain. Not too sure.

It's nothing to worry about, I am sure that there a lot of women and men that feel that way.

I know that you did mention that your boyfriend gets an erection without getting turned on, that I am not sure why. Larken does make a good point though.

Either way, I'm sure it's normal.

[Gemini54]

Your BF gets an an erection because your tears and emotions stimulate him.

Penises respond to all sorts of stimulation, not just sexual stimulation. Men get erections when they are nervous or afraid, or when they are sad or mad.

You BF is simply responding to the stimulus of your tears.

[LJDK]

I use to get the problem but quickly got in under control. I don't know why this happens, all I know is there is something about a crying girl that can turn you on. Perhaps I am sick in my head.

But I quickly convinced myself that its wrong and just by thought I could keep myself from becoming stiff. Maybe it was the fact that when my girl cried she held me tight, and the crying sounds was almost on the same emotional level as sexual moans and groans.

Like I said I might be sick. EIther way, it can be controlled via thought.

[talaniman]

A female makes pretty much the same sounds, and facial expressions, when crying, in pain, or in intense pleasure. Strange but true.

[stupidD]

This is mad forum, it happened to me today and before. I have had rough patch with my girlfriend and have been judging myself because frequently when she was upset and crying it would make me get a hard on. I would think it was due to feeling in control as I had made her cry but as it went on it was not the case I would be feeling very sad for making her sad yet it would just happen very instantly and without any sexual thoughts. Maybe it's that part of brain that knows if she's crying she cares for me and that triggers the reaction. I think there is something very instinctive about it, like someone said lets make babies. I love my girlfriend, don't think it would happen if I didn't.

[Taelline]

My husband has the same thing happen. He finds it quite embarrassing. We call it "Damsel in Distress Syndrome."

[dancingmonkey]

I'm sure it's just because he subconsciously is looking for a way to make you feel better, and that's just a response to that.

Maybe has something to do with the fact that he can't make you feel better any other way, because let's face it, guys usually suck at knowing what to say. Plus a lot of guys get horny when they are sad too, for the same reason, and therefore they think sex will make you feel better.

Of course, all of this is subconscious, usually when this happens to a guy they feel bad and think there is something wrong with them. Guys are just physical creatures, it's no surprise this is where their body leads.
I'd say if this happens, he probably cares deeply for you and wants to connect with you when you are sad.