[Lucky194]

Let me give you some basics about my dating life, so you
will get the image of the girl I'm talking about and why she is different than the
others I used to date, and why that is a problem.

I'm used to go out and drink allot fooling around with random girls I can't
care less about, even my Ex's I never really got to a point I got hurt and
felt bad about anything, I guess my problem is that I never cared much and
now I care too much. So here is the deal, I could swear I was in love with her
even before I met her, I had high expectations about the relationship,
Every single though about us together was and still is perfect.

(She already heard from some friends I really like her before she met me.)
It took me about a week till I started to talk to her, and on our first
conversation she got the best out of me, I never talked to
a girl about subjects I did with her, because I didn't think of how to get
her into my bed, I just though of how to get to really
know her. So I was the one who got open to her on the first night!
(I know it was a mistake) but I have a good feeling about us, etc..
(?. yeah I am never the one to say those things).. and she
just responded politely, while I was waiting for an reaction she
said "I don't know you so well ..." And I kept talking about general things.
A day after she said she had a good time.

As far as I heard from others and I got to see it for myself she is
a cute, innocent, little daddy's girl. So I didn't play "the game" with her,
I am trying to be as honest as possible and be on my max when I
am around her. The problem is that I never feel stable about us.
She doesn't return my calls, or my SMS (mostly she does).
When I ask her out sometimes she doesn't answer, and then she
sends a cute SMS a day after saying everything is great.
I know her for 3 weeks now And she is in
control of the relationship, at the same time she is just adjusting the
idea of going out with me, and feeling comfortable around me.

She tells my friend (also a good childhood friend of mine) that its
fine but she keeps most of it to herself.

I just need a good advice I am scared of playing games with her
not calling her letting her chase after me a bit, but I just think it
will fade away, she is weird, she never really had a long relationship
or the experience in it, so I don't think she does it on purpose.
How do I deal with her ?
My best guess is to back off a bit, so I will reflect a different idea
(that no matter what I will still chase her).

(by the way when I said I don't feel its stable, its because she never calls
but she does give hints all the time about "Don't worry it will come"
or that she wants to stay outside till about 4AM with me)

[alesha8781]

Don't ever play head games with someone you want a serious relationship with, even if that person seems to be playing games with you. Doing that tells girls that you are a player and makes it difficult for them to see you seriously.
On the other hand, try not to get too serious too fast because that can be scary for a girl, especially one who has never been in a serious relationship before. I understand that you feel very strongly for her, but telling her that too often is apt to make her feel cornered by you. What she is doing is signaling to you that she needs to take this very slow. She is probably afraid of being hurt, or used. Also, if she knows anything about your past, she probably has some trust issues with you because she will think you will do the same to her. And if she knows about your past, she probably feels embarrassed because you have so much more experience than her, and that would be intimidating.

So if you really like her, don't give up. Let her know you are willing to take it slow and get to know her. Don't push her too far. Let her stay in control of where the relationship goes. Once she sees that she means more to you than anyone else has, she will not be so afraid.

[friend4u178]

It's still very early and wanting this to be a fairy tale before it's even begun.

Take it slow , she's doing the right thing and just getting to know you and then she can decide for herself if it's something she wants to pursue , if you push too hard you'll only scare her away.

And maybe learn to be a less premiscuois (sp) if you really want something serious with someone , Reputations have a habit of following us if you get my drift ;)

[Gemini54]

Why don't you just treat it like a friendship, rather than a romance?

Your expectations of her are probably too great at this early stage of the relationship - I mean, it's only been 3 weeks!

Give yourself a break - you're over-analyzing the situation, and driving yourself crazy.

Chill. Don't invest too much energy in analyzing her motives and if she doesn't return your calls, don't stay home worrying about it.

I would back off if I were you - not because you'll get her interest if you're less intense - but because it will be better for your peace of mind.

Let her do her own thing, she may well be playing games (who knows?), but you don't have to respond to them.

[talaniman]

Slow down, relax, and get a grip. Seems your smitten for the first time, and acting a bit eager about all this. You had better get to know who your dealing with, and not just expect her to drop her heart in your lap. That's what she is doing, taking her sweet time to see who she is dealing with before, getting all carried away, and over excited, as you are.

Its only been 3 weeks, and your fantasy has control, not you. That will have to change.

The last thing you should do is treat her like the other girls you didn't care about. Or expect her to act like them.

Take your time, there is no hurry to stay outside until 4 AM! Doing what??

Learn some respect, and show it!

[Jake2008]

How old are you, and how old is she.

Is it possible that she is going slow because you have a certain 'reputation' of using girls? If so, you've hit the jackpot twice if she's giving you serious consideration in spite of it.

You describe her as "a cute, innocent, little daddy's girl." I'm wondering what that means. That is one of the reasons I ask you her age.

I'd like to respond further, but age plays a big part in this.

[Lucky194]

I'm 20 and she is 19, I don't think I have a reputation of hurting/using girls, I talked to her last night, and it seems
She wants to take it slow. You were right although for a different reason, I think its because she does see me as a
Person who has more experience than her, and she is afraid
I am the one playing games on her, in her words "it doesn't
seem natural." I'm just going to back off a little, let her
Control it I don't mind, that gives me more time for other things.

[Jake2008]

You know I respect what you said.

You aren't totally wrapped up in her and aren't pressuring her. That's a good thing for both of you.