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mydogquestion · May 1, 2010, 05:33 AM

So I am now three weeks away from my wedding. We have everything lined up. I am hoping for nice weather as I am having at my brothers home. We have a tent but I am hoping the weather is nice so we do not have to use the sides.The ceremony and dinner reception are at the same location.

The caterer is employing three staff, a bartender , and two servers. When tipping do I add the tip in total to the caterer and let her split it or do I tip each person? What is the rate to tip? And do you tip the minister?

Thanks.

JudyKayTee · May 1, 2010, 06:59 AM

In my area you don't "tip" the Minister - there's a standard fee. I'm surprised he didn't tell you but this may vary from place to place.

Also - minimum tip for servers/staff/bartenders is 18%. I recently got married and it was an automatic 25% added to the bill. The caterer "split" it.

We did tip the bartender extra because I did NOT want a tip jar on the bar, a practice I hate at social events.

dontknownuthin · May 6, 2010, 02:39 PM

Some churches do not charge for clergy fees and in that case I'd give them something for their services - I would probably go with $150 if no fee is established. If a fee is established you do not need to tip additional to that.

As for your caterers, most will build the tip into the bill. I would ask the caterer if this is their custom. If it is not, it's the same as if you were to go to a restaurant - typically 15 to 20% of the bill. If it is not included in the bill, my personal preference would be to give the tip directly to each server. For example, if the bartender has been getting tips all night, I might tip the wait staff more than the bartender rather than having it divided equally among them.

Enjoy your day!

Jake2008 · May 6, 2010, 03:13 PM

With only three staff, I would personally calculate the total cost of the catering, and hand deliver an envelope to each, with a thank you card.

I wouldn't trust anybody to give a server their 'due' unless I personally knew them.

Fr_Chuck · May 6, 2010, 05:57 PM

If the service is not in the church, almost all clergy have a "fee"

The standard fee for a wedding is 150 to 300 dollars. More if there will be a rehearsal for them.

Also remember his time, I will be blunt on this one, if the wedding is to start at 3 pm, the pastor gets there about 2:30, if the wedding does not actually start till 4. ( this is more common than you know) you should give him extra for his time.

IN my weddings I am clear they are paying for 2 hours time, if I go over that amount of time, there will be an extra fee.

mydogquestion · May 7, 2010, 08:43 PM

Thanks . The caterer did not include tip in her quote. The pastor is charging 300.00. . Just wondered if a tip is expected.

this8384 · May 8, 2010, 09:29 AM

Our pastor drove an hour one way to marry us. We paid the fee AND we tipped him. I don't know that it's "required" but I don't think it's wrong if you do it, either.

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2010, 01:49 PM

As a pastor, yes of course we always expect a tip, we are people also and being a pastor is a job ( low paying one normally) I get one about 1/2 of the time. For a pastor doing weddings is just one of the few ways he earns extra money.

mydogquestion · May 8, 2010, 02:32 PM

That's what I thought. I will tip him 15 to 20 % of his fee.

Fr_Chuck · May 8, 2010, 03:41 PM

And the common practice is that the best man pays the pastor before the wedding starts.

I have started a new policy, not paid, the wedding does not start.
I actually got ripped off, they had forgotten the money but was going to pay me after the service, then they said they would have to mail it to me, I considered holding the marriage license till paid, but that is not legal.