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    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #61

    Apr 30, 2010, 02:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Samemmack View Post
    What are signs of a codependent relationship?
    Well exact lists of codependent behaviour vary somewhat according to the context it is being used in. Some psychologists believe almost all relationships include an element of codependency, it rather depends on the school of thought.

    However the aspects I am thinking of are:
    An unhealthy emotional dependence, where your partner is responsible for your happiness rather than yourself. Compromising your own values to avoid another person's anger or rejection. Repeating patterns that cause you pain. Trying to control your partner's behaviour. Complying with your partner's wishes when you don't want to. Loss of boundaries.

    I'm thinking about how you say he gets upset when you want to visit friends or do something with your son without him. Your statement that his lack of trust fuels yours.

    I'm not suggesting that your relationship has every red-flag of a full-blown codependent situation but that there are some aspects that could do with nipping in the bud and getting on top of. Your trust issues and your difficulties in honest communication are obviously making you unhappy.

    Edited for spellilngs - sorry was typsy in charge of a keyboard after a family night out when I first typed this.
    Samemmack's Avatar
    Samemmack Posts: 20, Reputation: 1
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    #62

    Apr 30, 2010, 05:25 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by QLP View Post
    Well exact lists of codepend behaviour vary somewhat according to the context it is being used in. Some psychologists beleive almost all relationships include an element of codependency, it rather depends on the school of thought.

    However the aspects I am thinking of are:
    An unhealthy emotional dependence, where your partner is responsible for your happiness rather than yourself. Compromising you own values to avoid another person's anger or rejection. Repeating patterns that cause you pain. Trying to control your partner's behaviour. Complying with your parner's wishes when you don't want to. Loss of boundaries.

    I'm thinking about how you say he gets upset when you want to visit friends or do something with your son without him. Your statement that his lack of trust fuels yours.

    I'm not suggesting that your relationship has every red-flag of a full-blown codependent situation but that there are some aspects that could do with nipping in the bud and getting on top of. Your trust issues and your difficulties in honest communication are obviously making you unhappy.
    We do have a codependent relationship it looks like. That stinks!
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