[kager]

So here is the thing. I am currently stuck in a weird situation whereby I can't proceed or retreat and I seriously have no idea what to do. I got to know this girl in a internship. She didn't really appear as attractive in the first place but as I get to know, I started to grow fond to her. We had really great times talking and crapping and there were times when I actually felt that she like me too. Just when things was about to get started, my internship ended and I can't see her anymore. At that time I was already thinking of confessing to her but was held back by my fear of rejection. Apparently at around the same time, she always had this liking for another guy in the same company even though she was always quick to deny any possibility between the two of them. However, about one month after I left, news about her and that guy came to me. After confirming with her, everything was true and I got really depressed and sad. I hated the fact that I should have just acted quickly but I was too late after all. Of course I have never told her about me liking her and I just continue to be her pal.

For the next 7 months, I kept thinking about her and was disinterested in girls that would normally attract me. I felt that I just can't let go of her even though us being together seems to slowly become a distant possibility. Then recently, she just broke up with her boyfriend and was really sad. She told me that she won't be considering another r/s until she sort out her thoughts and is ready for one. The thing is that after such a long break between then and now, wouldn't it be really weird to tell her that I actually like her ever since? Besides, she already said that she isn't ready for the next one any time soon. But the fact that I didn't confess is really bothering me a lot. I can't concentrate on proper daily work and I just keep thinking of her. None of the girls that I met after her attracts me at all. She seems to be the one and only one that I will ever love. Add on to the fact that I have never been in a r/s before, it seems that this mini infatuation thing is getting out of hand. Is it because of my inexperience in handling such situation or am I adopting the wrong approach in dealing with it?

During all this time, I have always been telling her that I fell in love with another girl and how much I love that girl but I didn't tell her that she was the one I have been referring to all the time. I afraid that if I were to tell her the truth, she might get a shock and start ignoring me. In fact I rather things stay as it is, as good friends, rather than losing her as a friend. In this way, at least I can still show my care and concern for her in a limited manner. But until I tell her the truth, I feel that I can never start liking someone else. So what should I do?

[Lucky098]

We had really great times talking and crapping

Really? Lol

Instead of creeping her out and attacking her.. just be her friend. Let her heal. Let her get over her x boyfriend. Don't be weird, don't treat her like glass, but be her friend. That's all she wants. A friend.

Once she has healed. Then tell her how you feel. Don't tell her that you've been making up some imaginary girl that in reality is her. That's weird. She'll walk away from you if you say that. To save face, just tell her it didn't work out and focus on developing a relationship with this girl. Just go slow. Sometimes friendship creates a very strong relationship. Don't act obsessive, don't be clingy and don't object to her talkig to other guys. Once she starts to feel comfortable with talking to other guys THEN tell her your feelings.

Good luck

[Devorameira]

Don't tell her how you feel until she gets over the breakup she's going through. Best thing you can do is just be her good friend and help her get through the breakup.

After she's healed completely you might throw a couple small hints to see how she reacts, but don't just attack her by declaring your love for her.

Just remember that if you do tell her how you feel and she doesn't feel the same, it may destroy your friendship. Are you prepared for that possibility?