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mal8328 · Dec 4, 2006, 05:37 PM

I met this girl I worked with and we hit it off immediately. She had been with this guy for 4 years but he was a real loser. He hadn't worked in 2 years and left her to do the working, housework, and raise and take care of her 4 year old daughter, who wasn't even his biological daughter. She said she had been sleeping on the couch for the last year, and after we dated for a few weeks she moved out. But she kept in contact because that was the little girls "dad". I fell madly in love with both my girlfriend and her daughter she called me poppy:) I did everything for the both of them, and she always told me how much she loved me. And everyone who knew her before, told me what a change I had made in her. But they started spending more and more time together while I was working "for their daughter" and it caused a lot of fights between us... in fact, the only fights. Now she is 2 and a half months pregnant, and as much as we were together, and knowing he tried to get her pregnant for all four years, I know it is mine in my heart. We have split up a few times, and she ran back to him calling him her "safety net" but she always cried and told me she still loved me. Now this past time, even though she is pregnant with my child, she ran back to him,with no explanation, will no longer answer my calls, or texts, and is no longer coming to work. I am worried because she used to be into drugs with him, and I still love her so much, and don't want to lose my child, I want to raise a family with this woman. But the last time I called, he answered and told me to respect that they were together, and that was why there is a ring on her finger now! I can't just walk away if that is my child what can I do? If anyone has gone through anything like this any help would be greatly appreciated. I am heartbroken and lost, and don't know what to do.

Bluerose · Dec 4, 2006, 08:31 PM

I'm sorry for your pain. I don't think there is much anyone can say just now that would help you and make it hurt less. I think it's a case of wait and see. You might need to wait until the baby is born and then ask for proof as to whether it is your child or not. You really need to know. If it isn't, it will be hard but you must move on. If it is, you have at the very least visitation rights but you may also have to pay child support. I'm sorry but it looks like wait and see.

BabyBruchie · Dec 5, 2006, 01:45 AM

I think you just let her do what she want because you cannot control a person, no matter what you do, she will for sure still do what she her heart desires. Move on, feel the pain for now because for sure it does really hurt but do something to let it go, you should not hold of it for all your life.

You want to build a family with this girl but she wants to build a family with someone else so that would not do, you can just say that because your madly deeply in love with the person but I am sure if you find the right girl who really deserves your love, you can say it with her and thought that she deserves your true love better.

Then as what the above said, wait until the child is born and ask for a test to see who the real father is and if it is you, claim your rights.

moyra · Dec 5, 2006, 02:54 AM

My heart goes out to you, you loved your family and now they have left, that is difficult.

If you look at the very core of your relationship though, it was based on cheating (her with him, I don't believe that she was sleeping on the couch), drugs (you don't know if she is off them) and most importantly she was not being a very stable mother to her daughter, whom she should have been putting first, so why choose her as a mother to your future children? Her 4year old daughter was moving from your house to his house it must have been so confusing for her.

You need a stable loving relationship to raise children in and I'm sorry but this was not.

As the other posts said you will have to find out if that's your child first. If it is, you support that child financially, practically and emotionally. I would not be thinking about playing happy families with this woman as you look what's passed and that is your future, fights, her leaving and a very confused child soon to be children!

I know your heartbroken and you will be for a while but I would stay well clear from this woman, if not for your sake, for her daughters and unborn child's.