[startover22]

I'm very physically, mentally and emotionally tired right now. So, it's hard for me to do the best that I can with posting on this thread. Really have to think about the responses that I'll make. It's equally as hard here to respond as it is to speak at an A.A. meeting for me...

Usually, I'm on this site to relax, have some fun and answer and ask questions that might have more to do with activities and interests that people might need help and share with, like art, business, collectibles and the fine arts. That's just some of them. But, I think that you know what I mean...

CLOUGH!! You are and have been wonderful to me here, no matter what, you just always have. Thank you!
As I understand what you are going through, and what many others have stated. I think this is a great place to receive friendship and advice, and even a few hugs and some love.
Cold turkey for any addiction I ever had. I wish now I would have gone to meetings knowing the good they can do! It would have been a lot easier with a little support and less negativity in my life. I am so happy you have found a place to be comfy, speaking out and showing your face in a vulnerable position is what I say, shows want and courage!
All I can say is that it all goes down hill so fast that you wonder where the important time went and why the important people in your life aren't around anymore. It took one very important person (with another very small person waiting for him at home) to tell me finally after four months of my addiction hell that he "hated" me. That day, I upped and never went back to it again. I said screw you "azzhole" life, I do not want this!
Thank goodness, seriously from the bottom of my heart thank goodness I made that choice. I found the strength to leave the people and the substance that haunted my every day life after that choice!


I have to get off here right now and I wanted to tell everyone how much I loved all these posts. Clough, you are a very UNDERSTANDING, insightful, smart, and nice guy, I appreciate you. I am proud of you! I know it's hard. XXOO

EDIT: I forgot to say that we WILL be supportive of you... the good and the bad. XXOO

[ked1]

Clough,
I so appreciate what you are talking about, and I am sorry if it came off the way it did. I just wanted to say sorry for sounding unsympathetic.
To be continued.

[Flying Blue Eagle]

KED-1I hit the wrong key up above and I will have to finish down here.
As I was saying about clough, You will find that he will befreind you and help you out in the tight spots that you( will) come across As you will find out . We have a great bunch of women and men on here as you will find that out also.. Anyhow since you are new on here-I will give you a hello and WELCOME to the site ::: Have a great day and GOD BLESS ::: F.B.E.

[kp2171]

Clough,

You need to understand that its OK to be spent... done... wanting input but needing to be still. No apologies needed. This is a good thread. One of the most important one's I've ever been a part of...

Everyone needs to find their own groove.

My biggest demon was never alcohol. It was depression. I have a knack for it. I am not by nature a depressed person... but I've had three Big Loves really do hurtful things, and I seem to channel my irish anger into self destructive modes... that old "depression is anger turned inward" line... don't be mad at the girl, take it out on yourself.

So... I'm pretty damn good at keeping it at bay now, but it took some really deep lows to buy a clue. But again, alcohol became a tool when all other angles were addressed. I was lucky enough to get help before it really became ugly again.

... I'll go for a stretch and be public... talk to others, seek out help... and then I'll draw back.

I do this in about all areas of my life... cycle through levels of engagement. Its just me.

And I've learned not to be apologetic about that. Yes, it might make loved one's nervous when you stop going to a meeting or stop doing whatever it was that was helping you through a time...

But I believe... at least for me... that I need a break from just about everything at some time. I like to change things up. I love to hear from others. But I don't always want to be pushed into something if I don't feel called to be there.

So...

It comes down to trust of self.

I know myself well enough to know when I'm slipping.
I've had enough time and enough failures to know when I'm lying to myself.
And I've been good long enough to love being where I am now.

I just lost the biggest love of my life... in ways I just don't want to get into. It is just horrible when all the details are really laid out. And yet I'm doing pretty damn good.

Its not because I'm being policed or tracked.

Honestly, I don't want to talk to anybody about it right now. I'm even keeled.

I just know enough to know when I'm not BS'ing myself.

So... its fine to start a thread you need to be in touch with when you don't really want to share.

I've been there. I am there, at times.

I will share when I feel called to share.

Danke for this thread. It is needed and it is a big deal. And you are really among friends.

[Flying Blue Eagle]

Clough- I hope and pray that tonight you are noticing a great improvement in you problem, I know that you will come out a winnerJUST HAVE FAITH AND TRUST IN OUR LORD JESUS, When the time is right he will answer your prayes and all of our prayes; CRAIG -You have a lot of friends on ask me help desk and we all are standing in your cornerand werer here to give you all the help ,encouragement that you need in your battle . CRAIG - MY FRiend, just don't forget that there is no such word as [CAN'T]; good night and GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ;;F.B.E.

[thisisit]

I was addicted to cigarettes. It took me many tries before I was able to kick the habit. I tried patches, gum, lozenges, and pills. Finally I was able to quit for good going cold turkey. I'm so glad I am no longer addicted to nicotine. I used to be addicted to caffeine too. I didn't try to hide it and I was able to quit the first time I tried.

My first husband was a heroin addict. When I met him I had never known anyone before who ever did heroin and I really had no idea what he was dealing with. Luckily for me, heroin made me very sick, so I didn't get addicted to it. Though I did try... I know, I know, dumb teenager! But, seriously, I didn't know any better. I had no idea or concept of what it meant to be addicted to anything. Over the years I became very upset with him for using heroin all the time, every day, that's all he seemed to live for. The romance was gone, to say the least, he told me heroin was his wife and his mistress. He killed himself, very dramatically, on halloween 1982. He shot himself in the head with an old fashion large caliber musket gun, while standing in our sons bedroom. It was terrible how that all happened... we argued and fought all the time because I would get so upset about his constant drug use. I couldn't understand it. His mother enable him by giving him money for drugs and sometimes she even drove him to the drug dealer's house AND paid for the heroin herself. I know she was just trying to keep her son from robbing people to support his habit, but at the time I couldn't understand even that much.

Since then, I've gone to lots of AA meetings with other friends who were recovering from drug or alcohol addiction. I never got addicted to anything other than cigarettes and coffee, but I stopped both of those. I agree with KISS here about addiction having a genetic predisposition. I believe I did not inherit the tendency to become addicted to substances, though I can become addicted if I use something often enough, repeatedly.

I believe AA works for a lot of people. I have enjoyed going to many meetings with some of my closest friends through life. I would say that going to AA meetings is a good place to start if you are struggling with an addiction.

I think my addiction to cigarettes was a strong addiction, and I imagine most addictions are the same. I think I can safely say most people who are in recovery will continue to have occasions where they feel an urge to use (whatever their addiction was). I know that after over 3 yrs of not smoking, I still occasionally feel like smoking a cigarette. The difference is that now that I am not addicted to nicotine, it is just a passing thought, not a compulsion. I can't imagine actually smoking a cigarette ever again! Though there is the rare moment where it is a passing thought. I don't do it though, mostly, because I'm afraid that if I would I might smoke another one. Then before I knew it, I'd be addicted all over again. I think that is pretty much the same for almost anyone addicted to any drug or drink.

Time between last use and today helps. The more time that goes by, the easier it gets. Congratulations to everyone who has fought an addiction and to all those who are in recovery! And to anyone still trying or anyone in the early stages of quitting an addiction, keep trying!

[KBC]

3 weeks?

I am in a wondering mind today friend, how have things been for you?

Have the urges taken their toll on you?Or are you staying the path set before you?

[ked1]

Clough, Flying Blue Eagle, I'm trying to find my original answer, so I can quote myself. But it is my "...it wasn't helpful to me". So, I wasn't being hard on him, I was talking about how it affected me. I know how it would sound that way.

[J_9]

Clough, we haven't heard from you in a while. How are things going with you?

[Clough]

A lot of people to respond to on here!

Thread also wasn't intended to be centered around myself. Maybe a part of it, but not all of it. Was supposed to be a group effort here for support for anyone.

Also, no one here truly knows what's going on in someone else's life, nor has everyone who posts on this thread been in a 12 step or maybe other kind of program. So, some of the opinions come off as being assuming and judgemental without the person posting really knowing what's going on or how things are supposed to work for the person who might be in a program.

A lot of people hurt who are also in some kind of recovery. Not all recovery programs are the same.

Comments have been appreciated by me, and I will respond, in kind. However, please review what I've written in the paragraphs above.

Later...

[J_9]

Clough, I hope I didn't offend you. I hope no one offended you.

We have had our addictions and our own recoveries. We are here to help others through theirs as well. That includes you or anyone else on the boards.

Sorry to have offended. I will unsubscribe now.

[jmjoseph]

I sure hope I didn't offend anyone either. I hope someone gets help with their problem by reading such posts as these.

[J_9]

A lot of people to respond to on here!

Thread also wasn't intended to be centered around myself. Maybe a part of it, but not all of it. Was supposed to be a group effort here for support for anyone.

Also, no one here truly knows what's going on in someone else's life, nor has everyone who posts on this thread been in a 12 step or maybe other kind of program. So, some of the opinions come off as being assuming and judgemental without the person posting really knowing what's going on or how things are supposed to work for the person who might be in a program.

A lot of people hurt who are also in some kind of recovery. Not all recovery programs are the same.

Comments have been appreciated by me, and I will respond, in kind. However, please review what I've written in the paragraphs above.

Later...

To tell the truth, now that I am home and have had the time to re-read this thread, I am slightly offended by the above post. I was simply being friendly and asking how things were going. The question was asked here as well:

3 weeks?

I am in a wondering mind today friend,,how have things been for you?

Have the urges taken their toll on you?Or are you staying the path set before you?

And was not responded to. I was only hoping that everything was okay.

Now, I will unsubscribe.

[thisisit]

Hi Clough,

I would never want to hurt you... I think we all feel that way.

Hang in there Clough! I haven't known you long but from what I've seen, you are strong, courageous, compassionate, kind, and very brave. You are right that no one truly knows what someone else's life is like, or what all they are dealing with... but we get glimpses into each others lives through reading these posts. When you are experiencing a lot of anxiety, sometimes going to a quiet place and taking some slow deep breaths can be calming. Take time for yourself, you are the most important person in your life! Reactions to stress such as anger, worry, fear, regret or ruminating won't help you feel any better, nor will it solve the stress triggers. Though it is not easy to break the stress response habit, you can do it. You can train yourself to choose a different response when stressful events happen in your life. A lot of people find they can get relief through meditation, prayer, self-hypnosis, empowering thoughts, and positive self talk. It also helps to learn to recognize the difference between things you can change, and things you cannot change; as well, things that are your responsibility and things that are not.

I don't think anyone is here to hurt you. I think we are all here to help and support each other, as well as anyone else asking for answers. That being said, I think that often when someone is quitting an addiction their emotions are on a roller coaster, and emotional responses can be hair trigger. Remember always that you are the most important person in your life. You have a lot of strengths and it is those strengths that are going to get you to a better place.

Here are some links that might help you begin to deal with stress in a way that is not so taxing on your well being, *I don't mean to assume you have any of these problems, specifically, just that these relaxation techniques may help you feel better and accomplish your goals:



Relaxation Techniques for Stress Relief: Relaxation Exercises and Tips



6 Effective Relaxation Techniques For Anxiety



The Top 4 Anxiety Relaxation Techniques



Learn to meditate: Free techniques in how to meditate



Breathing Meditations | How to Meditate



Breathe Right : Breathing Exercises : Discovery Health



I'd also like to add, it is my belief, that often when things are taken wrong or someone ends up offended in the course of online communications that often it is the result of misreading or misunderstanding, or other difficulty related to the written word without benefit of face to face communications.

This is not meant to offend anyone.

Wishing you all the best,
Sharlene

[ked1]

I think it is really wonderful of you to do what you are doing. It is so helpful.

[Flying Blue Eagle]

Clough-It's been a week or more since I have heard from you band I am getting a little worried
I hope qand pray that you are OK,I think that now I know what you went through when I was playing hooky{HA HA }{ IN THE HOSPITAL] I DO HOPE THAT YOU ARE STILL IN THE imPROVEING STAGES,and things are getting better.IF you OK and feel like it, drop me a post, EVEN IF IT'S JUST A HELLO< I will understand ;; Have a better night and a better day tomorrow and MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU;; YOUR Friend -F.B.E.

[Clough]

I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.

Your insights and opinions would be very welcomed here!

Thanks!

[J_9]

I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.

That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

[kp2171]

That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

2nd.

[Clough]

Originally Posted by Clough
I can see that you're looking at this thread, fuzznuttski.

That sounds creepy, almost stalker like. Just sayin' ;)

Yup! Shore does! :D