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pubudu444 · Apr 14, 2010, 10:47 AM

I met a girl 7 months ago I was falling in love with her deeply ever since ( I mean very very deeply . When ever I see her or met her my heart is thumping lke hell and get totally out of order)
So 5 months ago I asked her whether she has a boy friend, she just smiled at me and said Yes !
After another 1 1/2 months I told her everything I had in my mind ( my bitter past , once I tried to commit suicide over my brothers untimely death) I told her why I'm struggling to forget her. She still said I have a aboy friend BUT SHE DIDN'T GIVE EYE CONTACT TO ME THIS TIME. I ask her what he is doing and she said He is looking for a job went to a final interview recently ( NO EYE TO EYE CONTACT THIS TIME ALSO )

So the conversation ended it was about 10 minutes.

Then she came twice to the shop that I am working ,within a week. There after quiet strangely she stop coming to the shop for about 1 & half months. Now she make brief appearancess once in two weeks.

But nobody have seen her boyfriend ( I have to tell you there are so many guys around that place interested in her )

What shall I do ? Shall reach her for another time or do I have to forget her? I am dumbfounded. Please help me.

Thank you
Sincerely,
Pubudu

spitvenom · Apr 14, 2010, 11:06 AM

You have to forget her. If she doesn't have a boyfriend and she said she did it is her way of gently saying she is not interested in you. And just because no one has seen her boyfriend doesn't mean she doesn't have a boyfriend.

justcurious55 · Apr 14, 2010, 11:10 AM

Leave her alone. She told you she has a boyfriend. You should assume its true. Even if its not, it's a very clear sign she is not interested. I don't know about every other girl out there. But for myself, when a guy keeps telling me how much he likes me when I've made it clear I'm not interested (and I would say she's made it clear she is not interested. Her being friendly and polite is not a sign she's interested. It's a sign she's a polite friendly person. Do not make it into something its not), I get really irritated and avoid being around them. You haven't told us why she's coming into the shop you're working in. I would assume its because she has a legitimate reason unless she indicates otherwise.

taaam · Apr 15, 2010, 05:03 AM

Leave before you get burned. Go NC asap.

Devorameira · Apr 15, 2010, 05:31 AM

She told you she has a boyfriend, so either she does (which means that she's off-bounds) OR she told you a little white lie because she wasn't interested in you.

Either way the answers the same - You just got to walk away from her. She's not the girl for you!

pubudu444 · Apr 15, 2010, 06:37 AM

I didn't mention you that I had a 10 minute conversation with her last time. She admits that it was her fault so she will stop coming to the shop to buy buiscuts, cream soda... etc she knows and I definitely know when ever she come to the shop she gave me hopes with every move she made ( prolonge eye contact ) even when I see her from the distance she happens to make I contact for about 2 , 3, minutes . And that is something strange don't you think so ?

taaam · Apr 15, 2010, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by pubudu444

I didnt mention you that I had a 10 minute conversation with her last time. She admits that it was her fault so she will stop coming to the shop to buy buiscuts, cream soda....etc she knows and I definitely know when ever she come to the shop she gave me hopes with each and every move she made ( prolonge eye contact ) even when i see her from the distance she happens to make i contact for about 2 , 3, minutes . And that is something strange dont you think so ?

Don't get false hope now. Leave her be, if she cares enough then she will come. For now, just disappear. She could be playing games with you, don't overanalyze the signals.

justcurious55 · Apr 15, 2010, 10:54 AM

Originally Posted by pubudu444

I didnt mention you that I had a 10 minute conversation with her last time. She admits that it was her fault so she will stop coming to the shop to buy buiscuts, cream soda....etc she knows and I definitely know when ever she come to the shop she gave me hopes with each and every move she made ( prolonge eye contact ) even when i see her from the distance she happens to make i contact for about 2 , 3, minutes . And that is something strange dont you think so ?

So she can't come in to the shop to buy things now because you can't control your fantasizing? That's what that sounds like to me. And that sounds incredibly selfish on your part. So what if she knows even seeing her gets your hopes up? I don't see how that's her problem? That sounds like your problem to me. Not fair for her at all

talaniman · Apr 15, 2010, 06:21 PM

Maybe she wants a free soda or biscuits?/ Who knows but she doesn't sound very interested and you may be running a good paying customer away by all this romance stuff in your head. To bad you can't control yourself long enough to know her as a friend.

friend4u178 · Apr 15, 2010, 06:38 PM

She is NOT interested in you and that's painfully obvious , whether she has a Boyfriend or not is irrelevant.

Forget about her and stop creeping her out.

pubudu444 · Apr 17, 2010, 08:16 AM

O.K. as you all tells me everything is on the negative side. And the Change is pretty obvious for me. It means I have to waite until someone else come to my heart ( a girl who can make my heart beet faster than APSARA ( the girl Iam in love name ) but I believe in one thing The only consolation I can have after a brocken hope like this is, at the end of the day I must be in a position to tell that " I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING POSSIBLY ICOULD TO WIN Apsara's LOVE & THERE IS NOTHING ELSE I COULD HAVE DONE " so in that respect I believe I am not quiet there. So I will waite for another month or two & I will approach her for the last time. If she really dislike me this time she will really blast me off. Am willing to take any himuliation, pain & self disrespect. Then I can end my journey of seeking the love which apparently means, not meant for me. I am a Sri Lankan so I might sounds very stupid and strange for you guys but we grown up in a culture totally different to yours.This girl also a Sri Lankan. We are living in Sri Lankan society. I am 31 years old. Never ever had a girl friend. Never had sex (doesnt mean that I am an Eunach.) only fault of mine is all this time I was trying to be too good which paid me nothing instead of losing my brother & everything I love. Good Bye.

talaniman · Apr 17, 2010, 09:00 AM

Your experience with females seems rather limited, but no matter as we all become experienced in our own time.

pubudu444 · Apr 18, 2010, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by friend4u178

She is NOT interested in you and that's painfully obvious , whether she has a Boyfriend or not is irrelevant.

Forget about her and stop creeping her out.

Originally Posted by spitvenom

You have to forget her. If she doesn't have a boyfriend and she said she did it is her way of gently saying she is not interested in you. And just because no one has seen her boyfriend doesn't mean she doesn't have a boyfriend.

Originally Posted by justcurious55

so she can't come in to the shop to buy things now because you can't control your fantasizing? that's what that sounds like to me. and that sounds incredibly selfish on your part. so what if she knows even seeing her gets your hopes up? i don't see how that's her problem? that sounds like your problem to me. not fair for her at all

O.K. as you all tells me everything is on the negative side. And the Change is pretty obvious for me. It means I have to wait until someone else come to my heart ( a girl who can make my heart beet faster than AP ( the girl I'm in love name ) but I believe in one thing The only consolation I can have after a broken hope like this is, at the end of the day I must be in a position to tell that " I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING POSSIBLY I COULD TO WIN Ap's LOVE & THERE IS NOTHING ELSE I COULD HAVE DONE " so in that respect I believe I am not quiet there. So I will wait for another month or two & I will approach her for the last time. If she really dislike me this time she will really blast me off. Am willing to take any humiliation, pain & self disrespect. Then I can end my journey of seeking the love which apparently means, not meant for me.

I am a Sri Lankan so I might sounds very stupid and strange for you guys but we grown up in a culture totally different to yours.This girl also a Sri Lankan. We are living in Sri Lankan society. I am 31 years old. Never ever had a girl friend. Never had sex (doesn't mean that I am an Eunuch.) only fault of mine is all this time I was trying to be too good which paid me nothing instead of losing my brother & everything I love. Good Bye.

TrueFaith · Apr 18, 2010, 06:08 AM

She is not intereted in you my friend

I think I can speak for everyone when I say this.. the first thought in my mind.. when I saw the title of this message was, She is letting him down easy, if she has a boyfriend or not, makes no difference

And another thing, I think you may have shared Way... and I mean WAY! Too much information with her, telling a women you was thinking about committing suicide. No matter what the reason! There is no reason for that, only weak people find the easy way out, I have no simpathy for those kinds of people. And once you told her that it Will not make her go (hey this seems like a guy I can have a long term relationship with!)

It will freak her out, and it probable has. Unless you wanted her to love you out of pitty?
I'm sorry what happened in your past, but when you go into a relationship you should leave your past, in the past.

brokenarrow · Apr 18, 2010, 07:05 AM

I think you are looking for signals in everything she does - and most likely they aren't there.

By focusing all of your energy on this one and only girl you may be missing out on girls who are actually sending you genuine signals of attraction.

I wouldn't read much into the eye contact or length of converstaion. Gosh, if that were the case, then I am hitting on men in shops everyday by those standards.

I think you need to let go of the fantasy of being with this girl. There are plenty of others out there who would love the wasted attention you are spending on her.