[Thomas1970]

Did you all realise that over 75% of internet content is porn or porn related !?
It is a Multi BILLION Dollar industry.

Quite an eye opener really[/URL].

That is why when people post highly arguable information gleaned from the net, I often tell them not to get their critical information from a source containing mostly dirty pictures. :)

It is the more explicit stuff I was referring to. Some pictures once seen whether about sex or a serious traffic accident are very hard to un-see. I was quite young when I saw a young boy killed in a road accident on his bike, it affected me so much I couldn’t bring myself to buy my children bikes. Hope that explains a bit clearer what I meant about once seen you can’t un-see it.

I think they might laugh and giggle because that would be their reaction in front of someone but what does images like the more explicit sex scenes do to their psyche. It could make them afraid of sex. Am I just being silly here? Am I that out of touch? If so I will be very, very interested in where this topic goes because I have a 13 year old grandson living with me.

I would agree that it is probably a bit doubtful in this day and age, but I guess it would really all depend on your cultural norms or upbringing to some extent. Trauma often becomes trauma through repitition. But there is something of a catch in this regard. Much of it really hinges on the strength of one's initial reaction. As in the mechanism believed involved in PTSD.
If I remember correctly, it is believed that certain images -- at least "negative" or displeasurable ones -- are encoded in the amygdala region of the brain. This experience of the event is accompanied by the release of certain hormones which essentially aid in this process of imprinting or encoding the memory.
In a case such as you describe with the bike accident, it is believed that the brain is overloaded or flooded with a greater degree than normal of such hormones, which in turn encodes for a particularly vivid memory. The memory may then be so vivid, that exposure to even subtle stimuli sufficient to elicit the traumatic memory, can cause further subsequent release of such hormones, at possibly even higher levels, sufficient to encode for an entirely new memory. Thus the memories are ultimately compounded in a sense. Trauma in regard to trauma in relation to trauma... The impact often becomes increasingly exponential. Thus, the experience of PTSD. A completely "abnormal" reaction to what might often be considered to most, relatively mild to moderate stimuli in an aversion inducing sense.
On the other hand, people can be repeatedly exposed to things and become quite numb or disaffected to or by them. In large part it really depends on the intensity of the initial exposure. Both the stimuli itself and the person's reaction to such.

[valinors_sorrow]

Having suffered from PTSD from the age of 15, I can say that Thomas's explanation of it is indeed the latest in what they understand about it in the brain and it was long in coming too. Should anyone care to know more about it, I am quite open to answering questions. And while there may be some basis for a family to be concerned about sexual exposure to their kids, it would take having the context that sex was somehow threatening for PTSD to occur by how its defined in the DSM for Mental Disorders (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual). Without trauma, it is not able to form the original impression necessary for the first half of the PTSD equation.

The family would need more than that however. The second half of the set up in the equation is essentially that the person comes from a dysfunctional family and lacks certain emotional and psychological environmental supports if young and elemenets in adult psyche later on that are necessary for processing trauma and as a result, when triggered, it results in re-trauma rather than processing. Thereby deepening it with each cycle until treatment intervenes. I hope that clarifies it a little more for you Scott.

[Thomas1970]

I agree.

[mommy22]

I didn't want to further hijack the thread where I made that statement. So I'm moving this discussion here.

So explain to me how they would be harmed? Obviously they aren't going to be physically harmed. Do you really believe that that someone, especially a 13 year old in western cultures, will be seriously scarred by being exposed to some graphic images of sex? What do you expect to happen? Will they become rapists, frigid, what?

I'm not advocating porn here. But I just find it hard to believe that the vast majority of people, of any age, will be seriously affected by seeing some porn. Until someone can convince me otherwise, I stand by my stated opinion above.

Well you said in an earlier post that you don't believe girls are as interested in porn at age 13, so I don't think I misread or misinterpreted what you typed. I also don't think that how old you are or my age, have anything to do with experiences. I know of other girls who have been looking at porn for years. (since teenage) It DOES affect some girls... when I saw porn for the first time, about 10, I wasn't at all disgusted... I was intrigued. And by age 13-14, I was talking to guys who were 17-18, who obviously weren't interested in what a 13 year old had to say. I don't think I would have even known what to do or that it wasn't so "accepted" and "common" if I hadn't been exposed to porn so early in age. Is it not true that when you are overexposed to such elements that you become "numb" with it and it can *desensitize* you after a while? I know plenty of girls who watched porn at that age and it became a habitual thing. I have disagreed with your point "girls arent interested in porn at age 13" because I KNOW that is an opinion and not necessarily true.
My point of view is still going along with the original post about how inadvertently, internet porn can lead to other internet relationships etc.
Kids will do what they want to do, but I think most everyone agrees that the computer limitations at this young age, may help at least prevent or detour the problem-at least for now. But yes, I do think that MY porn interest as a kid led to my being sexually curious soon thereafter, which led to acting out on that curiousity.

[ScottGem]

Well you said in an earlier post that you dont believe girls are as interested in porn at age 13, so I dont think I misread or misinterpreted what you typed. ... I know of other girls who have been looking at porn for years. (since teenage) It DOES affect some girls... I have disagreed with your point "girls arent interested in porn at age 13" bc I KNOW that is an opinion and not necessarily true.
My point of view is still going along with the original post about how inadvertantly, internet porn can lead to other internet relationships etc.
Kids will do what they want to do, but I think most everyone agrees that the computer limitations at this young age, may help at least prevent or detour the problem-at least for now. But yes, I do think that MY porn interest as a kid led to my being sexually curious soon thereafter, which led to acting out on that curiousity.

First, in your original response to my post, you referred to my saying that 13 yr old girls were not interested in porn OR sex. My complaint was that I never mentioned sex, that you were putting words into my keyboard.

I was speaking in generalities. Sure there will be some girls who will be intrigued. Even some girls who will be stimulated to experiment. But from what I have read studies have shown that the two do not usually equate. If you encountered porn accidentally at age 10 and it stimulated you to experiment with sex, then I maintain you are the exception, not the rule. If the encounter was not accidentally, then it shows that you were already curious.

[AKaeTrue]

OK, here's my 2 cents worth on the subject pertaining to porn.
I feel that there are too many young kids having sexual relations these days.
There are several young girls that attend my nieces middle school between the ages of 12 and 14 who are currently pregnant, and the number of STD cases with kids and teens are extremely high along with the teen pregnancy rate.
Why do you think this is? Possibly porn striking an interest in what real sex is like? I don't know, but I would suspect the Internet has a lot to do with it.
Kae

[Bluerose]

I honestly don't know how we would do this but I think it's a case of keeping the kids from being exposed to it for as long as possible.

I believe in an ideal world they should be given the facts of life as they grow. I still remember the questions my sons 5 & 7 asked just after my daughter was born, I answered quite frankly and again as stuff came up in school, we didn't need pictures.

From a mum's point of view, it's like what we did when they were young and believed in Santa and the tooth fairy, only in reveres, we wanted them to believe in it for as long as possible. Why? Because it was fun. And they would be dealing with the real world soon enough.

Now, where we gave them Santa and the tooth fairy back then to hold back the real world, we are still trying to hold it back to a certain extent regards sex… They grow up too fast as it is. Surely at 13 we can try to hold it back for at least another couple of years? And if we were successful, would there be so many young teenage mums?

[Allheart]

BlueRose

I am so with you on this. Let a child's mind be youthful for as long as possible. Let the beauty of life build up in their young minds as their base, to help them sort out those issues that enter it as they advance in years.

The young mind is just that too young to be able to rationalize and digest in a healthy manner, certain issues, that in my opinion should never be exposed until they are mature enough to handle correctly.

Heck, some grown men and perhaps women, can't handle viewing porn in a healthy matter, why would be feel a beautiful young mind could?

[ScottGem]

First, in reference to Akae's comments, recent reports have indicated that teenage pregnancy and STD incidents have actually gone down in the last couple of years. That doesn't mean its no longer a problem, but it shows some headway is being made.

Young kids today are surrounded by a glamorization of the male-female relationship everywhere. Movies, ads, TV, books etc. all show sexual intimacy as a natural part of male-female (or even same sex) relations. So I really don't think that porn is the primary culprit. Kids just want to grow up so fast these days and they are shown, in a myriad of ways, that sexual intimacy is part of growing up.

Now to Bluerose's question of "keeping the kids from being exposed to it for as long as possible." I think one of the answers is a virtual redlight district on the WEB. It has been proposed (and I support it) that a Top Level domain (like .com) be established for adult material. The TLDs of .sex or .xxx have been proposed. With such a TLD, it would be easy for parents to block any URLs with that TLD. Opponents have held it up claiming it would make it easier for kids to find porn. But what it does it put the responsibility (where it belongs) on parents and computer owners to initate the block. The catch is that all adult sites would have to agree to switch their domains and countries would have to enact laws to punish those that don't. I think most adult sites would comply.

Another aspect of this has to do with education. Kids need to be educated about sex, about the dangers of the Internet about porn and about healthy relationships. And it needs to be done at a young age. Its not too early to start at 8-10 years old and gradually increase the knowledge. It would be nice let their minds "be youthful as long as possible". (as I pointed out earlier) that young people are being exposed to these things daily. "As long as possible" is awfully young these days. Its up to parents and educators to teach them how to assimilate what they see in a healthy manner.

[wizzkid89]

Scott makes an excellent point, kids are just growing up too fast these days. And it comes from having the major communications exploiting sex as a way of advertising. It's in music, books, t.v. any possible corner of the market. Why? Because in truth sex does sell. Because the market will never change it seems that the responsibility, sadly, will fall on the parents and teachers not society. We should teach them the basics of sex in middle school. And at my school we took sex education as a mandatory class during our freshman year. And I think that is one of the better systems, because WE did learn about sex in middle school but we learned about everything else, emotions, diseases, prevention, porn, etc, in High school. It seems to me that trying to ignore the situation as long as possible only hurts the situation, as they say knowledge is power.

[Allheart]

Wizz,

You bring up great points. I am with you the resposiblity is with the parents. Absolutely.
I do not have children, so admittedly, I do not have to contend with this issue as far as my own children, however, if I did, I would not feel comfortable having the schools teach my child about sex. Unless, the schools meet with the parents and give them a brief on what they are planning to teach the children. I would want to know exactly what the schools would be teaching my child on that subject.

Not sure what school district it was, but they were handling out condoms to the children without parental consent. Now that I would have a major issue with. If I did have children, that would be up to my husband and myself, to educate and introduce my child to the things we feel the child needs to be educated on. It would be a duty that I would be most happy to do and would not want it in anyone else's hands.

[aqua@home]

My two cents:

I think that porn should be avoided. I think this can be something that can be addicting. Let me explain. A person gets just a peek. Of course everyone is curious. Then a peek turns into a full see. Which can lead to a live look, which can lead to a live touch, which can lead to sex, etcetera, etcetera. I'm not sure it's okay to look at naked people.

Curlyben stated that something like 75% of the internet is porn. Isn't there something wrong with this? Where do we draw the line? For everyone it's different. You say it's okay to look at naked people, they say it's okay to look at naked kids, the next person says it's okay to touch naked kids. I don't think people have enough control over themselves to make porn okay. I know a guy who is so into porn, hard-core, that he has said that one day he would like to rape some woman just to see. People are always taking things to the next level. It wasn't always in the stores, now it's even on public billboards, on commercials, in magazines. When is enough, enough?

Some men expect their wives to act out what they see, some women expect their husbands to give them the same high they get from the club. It just never ends. I try to live in a way that if one of my children walked through the door, would I want them to know that I do this. No matter the age of the child. Personally I am sick and tired of having someone's a** or b**bs in my face all the time. I have an imagination that I can use.

Is it really something that should be acceptable?

Is it really something we should try to live up to?

I DON'T THINK SO.

What message are we sending our children?

I just wanted to add, that if we talk open and honestly with our kids, that much of their curiousity would probably go away. We should be the source for our children. I don't want my kids to get wrong information. It is my job as a parent to make sure they are educated. They don't have to hear everything from me, but I do need to try to make sure that sources are available for them.

[LUNAGODDESS]

I know this is a sand issue... but every time I go to a site that explains what porn is I run into a virus... so I guess porn is harmful at least to my computer

[Allheart]

Way to go Luna :) I like it..!

[wizzkid89]

Allheart, usually the schools, or at least the one's I have been to(6), have handed out parental information/consent things. Over the summer we had a huge discussion here on this site about porn itself, it started from the idea of legalizing prostitution, and I still believe that there is a balance out there. And I think it starts with schools and the parents. Denying it's existence only allows for the kids to become so curious that they search for it on the own, i.e. experiment. Throwing it in their face will most likely cause problems, mentally and physically, sending the wrong message that sex is OK under any circumstances. Therefore, it should be a mix, and the course of action I believe still lies with the parents. And I think the one thing they need to do is just explain it to them. There is no stopping it, or quarantining it. To the lady that had the grandson, I hate to say this, but your grandson most likely has seen porn. Either at a friends house or at school, or maybe even yours. I don't want you to get upset with me, as I am making no accusations, just an observation from the percentages of today's kids. And honestly, I lived this no longer than four years ago, and I think what I went through still applies today. The best you can do for any kid, is talk to them about it. But to be completely honest, I never got a talk. Anything I learned was from school or outside experiences. I understand it has to be hard as a parent to talk about it, and I think the school system would be best at giving information, they would make it the least awkard. None of my friends got a talk. You would be amazed at exactly how many kids never got a sex ed talk from their parents. And while I can't speak for everyone, I think my generation is coming out all right. Were not crazed, drugged, or sexually addicted. Maybe it's possible that this issue, isn't really an issue. I don't consider porn being an epidemic in today's children, and I have worked with my fair share. If your looking for the source of today's kids losing their innocence, is it really fair to blame the porn industry or porn itself? I believe the root of all evil is the school system. With the ever increasing importance being placed upon national intelligence and no child left behind act, schools(middle and high) are being instituted like a college and are losing their fundmental abilites to nuture a child's growing process. To me, at least, porn is a problem, but not on the top ten worry list.

[ScottGem]

I know this is a sand issue...but every time I go to a site that explains what porn is I run into a virus...so I guess porn is harmful at least to my computer

ROFLMAO

[QuickWitKat]

I am no expert on how harmful Porn is to children but I can tell you, from a personal viewpoint, that it can get out of hand very quickly. My BF (70) started just looking and now that is all he does is look at "girls" on ALT.com. It has gotten to the point that he locks the door to the computer room or has a quick escape button to bring up a solitare game anytime someone opens the door. He has spent $$$$$$ on BDSM junk and has gotten caught in CHAT rooms making arrangements to meet someone. All this from just a quick look. I have threatened to EXPOSE him to these ladies because it is not right to be in a relationship and do this stuff behind your partners back ( I am a good computer hacker or I would not have known)

Just an opinion and we all know what that is worth...

[valinors_sorrow]

I know this is a sand issue...but every time I go to a site that explains what porn is I run into a virus...so I guess porn is harmful at least to my computer

LOL Or perhaps they should come with a warning like on your car's mirrors...
CAUTION: Objects presented here may appear larger than they are. :eek:


(All humor aside, I understand an addiction is very serious Kat and hope you are able to persuade him into seeking some help)

[ScottGem]

My two cents:

I think that porn should be avoided. I think this can be something that can be addicting. Let me explain. A person gets just a peek. Of course everyone is curious. Then a peek turns into a full see. Which can lead to a live look, which can lead to a live touch, which can lead to sex, etcetera, etcetera. I'm not sure it's okay to look at naked people.

There are so many things wrong here I had to wait until I could devote the time to reply properly.

Let me start with the last sentence above. There is nothing wrong with the human body. Nudes have been part of art for ages. Naturalists/Nudists are among the most well adjusted people in the world. Its certain elements of society that have made viewing nudes taboo. And many of them are some of the most mal-adjusted people I've encountered.

What's wrong with most porn is that it tends to be sex for sex's sake and doesn't play up the beauty of sexual intimacy as a sharing between two people who care for each other.

Lets talk about this guy you know who talks about rape. Ask any cop or criminal psychologist and they will tell you that rape is NOT about sex, its about power and control over another person. There has been very little proof that porn stimulates violence against women.

I think the main attraction for porn to most people is a release. At least for adults it rarely leads to sex with strangers. One of the outgrowths of the video and Internet porn revolution is that quality has increased. The industry has gone way beyond the grainy 16mm images sent in unmarked envelopes. Production quality, the attempt to actually have a story line to improve the acting etc. have all increased. So that much porn is no longer as demeaning and exploitative as it was 15 years ago.

The argument that one thing leads to another has been made time and time again over the years and its rarely been proven. Yes it happens, but it's the exception not the rule. If things were as bad as you indicate then we would have a lot more sex crime then exists. With so much money being spent on porn, how come rapes and other sexual crimes are declining? How come teenage pregnancy is declining?

The only thing I agree with in your note is the closing paragraph. And I strongly support that as I've said myself. A large part of the attraction of porn, especially to young people, is the that its taboo. If young kids are raised in an open environment, if they are educated about sex properly, if they are taught the real values of sexual intimacy, they are less likely to turn to porn or abuse it or abuse sex.

[Starman]

Here is an arrticle which gives a list of negatives in relation to pornography. Hope it contributes to answering your question.

1. Pornography facilitates child molestation.

Excerpt

* 87% of convicted molesters of girls, and 77% of convicted molesters of boys, admit to the use of pornography, most often in the commission of their crimes.

http://av.rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A9ibyKo...nisharmful.htm



Statistical support concerning porn's negative effects can be found here:

excerpt

UNICEF estimates that one million children are forced into prostitution or used to produce pornography each year. Many are handed over (or sold) by their families driven by the extremes of poverty... The Internet also has given dealers in child pornography a far bigger audience--and anonymity.
http://www.levelbest.com/design/sites/enough/stats.htm


A study done by Dr. Elizabeth Oddone-Paolucci and Dr. Mark Genuis, based on 12000 participants led to the following conclusion:

excerpt:
... exposure to pornography puts viewers at increased risk for developing sexually deviant tendencies, committing sexual offenses, experiencing difficulties in intimate relationships, and accepting of the rape myth.

http://www.cwnews.com/news/viewstory.cfm?recnum=17683