[Leighan]

I was told today that I am unhugable. I have been told this a couple of times before in my life. I will admit I do have a thick and tall wall up, so to say, but I wouldn't say unhugable. I have my reasons for having a thick "shell". I don't think that's why I'm unhugable. Maybe it is. So I got to thinking what makes a person unhuggable? Or what makes a person hugable that I am lacking? I have the biggest heart, I am loyal, fun, open minded, loving... I can list my many hugable qualities. So makes me unhugable? I would love to know what makes others have the need, or just want to hug another person. If you could help me out with question maybe I can improve myself and maybe become a hugable person. It would be nice to be hugged .

[JoeCanada76]

I will give you a cyper hug.

There is no such thing as unhuggable. Everybody needs a hug and it does feel good. Some people are shyer then others.

My suggestion to you is do not listen to what others say, because that will cause you and have caused you to self doubt.

Do not take a comment like that personally, never change yourself to somebody who you are not.

Biggest heart, I am loyal, fun, open minded, loving... I can list my many hugable qualities. These are excellent qualities that you know about yourself and others must see. Never change that.

Here is one more cyper hug.

Joe

[valinors_sorrow]

It doesn't have so much to do with who you are as how you handle yourself physically around others, as you guessed all along. Don't make it more than that. Unhuggable is not the same as unlovable, not nearly! People can and do send out "don't touch me" vibes... God knows how much I did at one time and eventually slowly overcame it (along with a whole lot of stuff with it). I was actually afraid of being hurt by being touched. In the right circumstances, I still can be a bit skittish too.

It can also be a measure of how uncomfortable a person is in their own skin, so to speak. Some of us prefer being less corporal, more like walking around as just a collection of ideas rather than a physical being. That can make people think "don't touch" too.

And then some people are just lousy as physical contact period and in themselves consciousness of that seem to radiate "don't touch" too. Some people crave physical contact more than others, that's all. To physical people, hugs feel GOOD!

Only you can say where you are in any of that. It is okay to say no thanks to hugs, they aren't my thing. You can always resort to shaking hands instead too. Its far more effective to ease your way into hugging than to try pressuring yourself too. In my recovering past, on my rougher days when hugs were too difficult some of my friends then replaced what would be a hug with a gesture that we all understoond to be the emotional equivalent to a hug and that was nice. So I "hug" my two hands together for you, hoping you get the friendly, warm, affirming, approving, loving "hug" energy just the same!

[Bluerose]

Leighan,

Hug

When you've struggled through the day
And nothing seems to go your way.
There's just one thing I have to say,
You really need a HUG.

You work so hard to do things right
And no one seems to care.
You wonder if it's worth the fight,
You need a HUG to share.

When sad and tears begin to flow
And words can't reach your heart.
I care and want to let you know,
A HUG says more than words impart.

When you're filled with love and happiness
And you want to share those feelings
That words can't quite express,
A HUG will say it best.

So whatever the day has brought your way
Here's a great big hug
From me to you.

{{{HUG}}}

[Bluerose]

Leighan,

{{{HUG}}}


The wall you put up to stop the bad stuff from getting through can also stop the good stuff from getting through. You don't need to work on you, just work on the wall.

[LUNAGODDESS]

ONE BIG HUG FROM ME TOO!