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Youandme11010 · Apr 6, 2010, 12:58 PM

I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 months. We are still in school, and our relationship was going great. Then she started hanging out with this boy more and more. He is her exboyfriend and he is still in love with her. They share a locker, and he walks her to almost every class. He takes her to church every other weekend, and then they go to his house for a couple hours. About a month ago I figured out she let him have his hand on her chest. When she's around both of us sometimes she doesn't even look at me. This makes me completely miserable and I have told her this, but she continues to spend just as much time with this boy. Am I too jealous, or should she change?

nitelight198073 · Apr 6, 2010, 01:42 PM

Whoa man that is so not cool of her if she cares not for your feelings it is time to move on
It is not a good thing she spends all this time alone with her

I wish · Apr 6, 2010, 01:54 PM

There's no reason for you to suffer. So be honest with her. Tell her how you feel and see how she reacts. Try to come to a mutual understanding together.

Youandme11010 · Apr 6, 2010, 03:47 PM

I have talked to her, every time I try to find some sort of compromise or even bring it up she gets pissed and won't talk to me. But it's like she's acted so different lately and I can't bring myself to break up with her in case that girl I met a few months ago is still somewhere inside her

I wish · Apr 6, 2010, 06:12 PM

If she's not willing to hear you out and work out an understanding, then how are you going to handle other serious problems?

Maybe it's time to consider that you're better off going your separate ways.

Youandme11010 · Apr 6, 2010, 06:20 PM

I've had a million people tell me I should but I can't do it

nitelight198073 · Apr 6, 2010, 07:41 PM

Hun apparently she still has feelings for him and is becoming defensive with you... you are going to save yourself a lot of heartache if you just let her go

Jake2008 · Apr 6, 2010, 07:49 PM

She wants you when she wants you, and could care less about you when she doesn't. That does not bode well for a good relationship.

A relationship, boyfriend/girlfriend in your case, starts with an attraction and grows to include two people, building a foundation on communication. Two peas in the same pod, together. Needs are being met on both sides, and each one is the priority of the other.

Like a friendship, one party or the other doesn't treat their partner as a second class citizen when somebody better happens to be around- in this case the 'ex'. They don't put their needs behind their own, and they don't cause an imbalance in the relationship to the point where bluntly talking about it, doesn't result in any understanding or change.

If you choose to accept this kind of behaviour from her, or from anybody else for that matter, you are being used, and hurt and ignored. The relationship is unbalanced when one partner's needs are more important than the other's. There is no balance, no communication, no change, no resolve. It just goes on and on until you are used up.

I have to wonder why you accept being treated this way.

mudweiser · Apr 6, 2010, 07:52 PM

For a second there I thought the exboyfriend was HER boyfriend.

Either you talk to her and tell her how you feel and what she is doing to make you feel the way you feel or you just dump her.

Move on or try to fix it.

Youandme11010 · Apr 6, 2010, 08:06 PM

Nitlite: yea I figure she still has feelings for him

Youandme11010 · Apr 6, 2010, 08:13 PM

Jake(ow, her exs name is Jake): that first sentence pretty much sums it up. I accept being treated this way because I know how we used to be and I can't let go of that memory, I keep on hoping somehow we'll get back to what we used to be. Those were the best times I've ever had in my life

Mud: I've talked to her about it a million times and all it ever does is make it worse. She didn't talk to me today because I brought it up this morning

mudweiser · Apr 7, 2010, 07:33 AM

Originally Posted by Youandme11010

Mud: I've talked to her about it a million times and all it ever does is make it worse. She didn't talk to me today because I brought it up this morning

This isn't a relationship. Why are you dragging this on? It's only causing you pain. You need to really let go of her. She obviously doesn't want to repair the relationship, let alone communicate with you.

You'd be a big dummy to stay in this relationship. Once your out of it you'll feel so free, like a million pounds have been lifted off your shoulders... trust me on this one.

amicon · Apr 7, 2010, 08:28 AM

So basically she has two boyfriends?

Time to find some selfrespect and leave her to the ex.

You don't need that kind of situation in your life.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 7, 2010, 08:32 AM

She still has feelings for this guy and she has no respect for yours.
Tell her needs to choose where her loyalty lies. If she wants to be with him fine, but she can't have you both.
Be prepared to walk away from her.

I wish · Apr 7, 2010, 08:37 AM

If she can't treat you with the respect that you deserve, then this relationship is going to end one way or another.

Youandme11010 · Apr 8, 2010, 01:59 PM

Well we talked about it and she was threatening to break up with me(yea,that's usually how it goes nowadays) so I dropped it and convinced her not to break up with me, imma try to live with him spending so much time with him. She says he's just a really good friend. I'm hoping things get better in highschool(I'm in 8th grade, he's not going to the same school as us. I'm sure they'll spend a ton of time out of school together but I'm hoping it gets easier

talaniman · Apr 10, 2010, 10:23 PM

VERY< VERY< VERY< HARSH, but you better wise up and listen

They share a locker, and he walks her to almost every class. He takes her to church every other weekend, and then they go to his house for a couple hours.

Sound like the same school to me, but you better let her go fast because she is not worth th humiliation, and I can bet ALL your friends are mad at you that you have allowed her to make you look like complete idiot!
Sorry guy, you don't have a relationship, because you act more like a pet, than a partner.
Get your dignity, and self respect back, and tell her to screw herself, and walk away. You will at least feel like a man, not a mouse.

Unsure_11 · Apr 10, 2010, 10:32 PM

No no!
Your being jelous she is being so uncool. If she is with you she should not be doing tat with him.Tell her that you don't like it.but don't tell her to not to hang with him because that would be uncool of you.

amicon · Apr 10, 2010, 10:40 PM

You talked about it and she threatened to break up with you?

You should have let her.

No,edit,that's good in fact-now you break up with her,walk away from this person who treats you like last weeks leftovers.

Youandme11010 · Apr 13, 2010, 07:13 PM

I like unsures answer... Closest to seeing it her way I've got on this post