[simoneaugie]

The relationship is working. I'm happy for you both. Never did know there was a term for older women, cougars. I like it.

[Larken85]

You're right about it being for the reader. Guess I got selfish on that one.

About my mom I know it hurts to say that, it hurts me, but truth can hurt. And her actions have given me a bad bad stigma.

So in the eye of the beholder you know. She loves me for several reasons but one of her big attractions was simply that I do not have kids. She see me as free to her at any time. She even told me that it was a huge plus for me when we met. Sad though.. I want kids... oh well, can't happen. Get over it larken.

She is a little scared that I am going to leave her because of my maturity, and in most guys cases I wouldn't blame her. But I have a lot of past that backs up my character a lot and I had to mature a bit early in life. Another thing I find sad. I wish I could have been a kid for much longer, but facing the facts, I'm not a kid anymore and I can't return to being a kid. I am getting older and older every day and I need to continue to man up or I'll get left behind at this point.

She used to say I made her feel young again but she stopped saying that. She doesn't put importance on that fact anymore which is great because that would ware off real fast here.

She loves that I have a dependable job (though it doesn't pay much I almost can't lose it and I can pull countless hours of overtime if we are hurting.) The fact that I work a lot means I won't be in her hair 24/7 wareing on her patients. She has a weak threshold for tollerance than most people. Her Bi-polar dictates a lot of those little peeves of hers. I accept that and since I kind of like working, its not that big a deal to me. And its not that she doesn't like spending time with me. Its more that people can just spend too much time together and believe me I understand that. I know that if I was with her all the time we would fight a whole heck of a lot and it certainly wouldn't be one sided.

The relationship just works for both of us you know. I love her, she loves me, and we are happy with what we have and are achieving every day.

[JudyKayTee]

Larken, I am dating an older man, and in my opinion, I love it! I can tell you this, I and I mean I and no one else, would EVER date a man younger than me! I love older men, always have, always will... It's all in what YOU want, and what you're happy with. I'm really glad you ask these kinds of questions. I have read a lot of your posts, and I notice you ask questions. This is a good thing. You seem to keep it real! That's good! Again though, it's what makes you happy. If your girlfriend makes you happy, then great! Are you truely happy?

I am confused by what this means: "I love it! I can tell you this, I and I mean I and no one else, would EVER date a man younger than me! I love older men, always have, always will..."

I don't think you can speak in terms of always and never nor can you speak for anyone else.

Why are you attracted to older men and how much older?

[CravenMorhead]

The relationship is working. I'm happy for you both. Never did know there was a term for older women, cougars. I like it.

Cougar is more of a term for an older (mature?) woman who is on the hunt or prowl for young meat. It can be flattering, but more often then not it isn't so much. It is most colloquial used to describe that woman, hevily modified or just toned, that frequents clubs with the expressed purpose of picking up the young men.

It used to be a running gag among my friends that if you were approached in a bar by a Cougar that you raise your hands, act tall and slowly walk away. The suggest defence against a real cougar.

It really isn't a term I would use to describe anyone I would also call friend. The best series of definitions for Cougar can be found at the Urban Dictionary.

[Enigma1999]

Hello Judy, after I read my post again, it didn't sound right. I can see how it was misconstrued. Allow me to elaborate please, in my opinion I really enjoy older men. I wasn't speaking for anyone else, only myself. I can see though in my previous post that it looks as if I speak for others. Why am I attracted to older men? Well, I have dated younger men and was married to a younger man and found that we have nothing in common. Our conversations consisted of music and Adam Sandler movies. Nothing else. I found that the younger men in my life were immature. No goals set out for themselves. Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of smart, funny, intelegent, goal orented young men who are successful. There are also immature and lazy older men. I just find that I have more in common with older men. How much older? 35+. What seems to work for you and other?

[Larken85]

You're right crave. Cougar is a bad term for her. She is my more mature lover. My woman. (if I called her my ol' lady she'd beat me lol). You're right though, totally.

[JudyKayTee]

When you post on a public board you have to be prepared for the responses - mature or not mature I find calling any woman your Ol' Lady and/or Your Woman to be offensive.

Again - what does this educated, employed, attractive, sexy woman get out of your relationship?

[QLP]

The only term I have heard used here in England is MILF. (Mother I'd like to... ) Must say cougar sounds better even if rather predatory lol.

[smoothy]

The only term I have heard used here in England is MILF. (Mother I'd like to ...) Must say cougar sounds better even if rather predatory lol.

MILF is much more frequently used here as well, and for the most part, means exactly the same thing. A hot older woman that gets the attention of a younger man.

I don't think either term is meant with any malice to women. Not how I've seen it used anyway.

Sort of a , "damn she is fine....." sort of way. Where-as Cougar... "damn she is fine....and she's availible and looking"

[JudyKayTee]

I find a BIG difference between referring to a woman as a cougar and referring to a woman as a "Mother I'd Like To F*."

You don't find this insulting? You would be complimented if someone referred to your wife in this manner?

[Synnen]

I actually get a giggle out of it when someone calls me a Cougar.

A MILF is usually younger--in her 20s, with toddlers, not older with kids the same age as the men hitting on her.

I have absolutely no problem being called a cougar---because it's hilarious to me. And in many ways, it's the SAME sort of giggle as the term Sugar Daddy gives me.

I find neither offensive. I find staring at my boobs to be offensive, not juvenile terms that are better laughed at.

My best friend calls me "wench"--consistantly. He NEVER calls me by my name. My husband is more likely to call me "woman" or "lady" than he is to call me anything else.

[JudyKayTee]

If a man stares at my cleavage in a rude manner (and it isn't always an insult) I've been known to stare pointedly at his crotch. I figure if I wear cleavage I should sort of expect what I get - up to a point.

I worked as a cocktail waitress in a bikini to pay for college - I didn't care if people looked. That's why we were dressed in bikinis. I DID care if they touched.

I think it depends on the manner in which it's done, both what a woman is called and how men look at her.

[Alty]

Considering the fact that Sneezy calls me his cougar and I call him my boy toy, I guess I don't have a problem with age difference or the term cougar. Of course I've never met the kid so really the term cougar doesn't apply, but it is fun to be referred to that way, makes me feel kind of hot. ;)

For me I like men of all ages but truth told, I'm not usually attracted to younger guys unless they have the smarts and maturity to keep up with me. I guess that's why I like my little boy toy, he's a 45 year old in a 24 year old body.

If I was single I doubt I'd date a guy much younger then me, no stability, they're still finding themselves, besides, I've already trained a few, don't want to do it anymore. ;)

Thankfully I'm not looking, happily married and very happy that I don't have to do the dating thing any more. It's hard work from the looks of all the relationship threads on AMHD.

[jmjoseph]

Considering the fact that Sneezy calls me his cougar and I call him my boy toy, I guess I don't have a problem with age difference or the term cougar. Of course I've never met the kid so really the term cougar doesn't apply, but it is fun to be referred to that way, makes me feel kinda hot. ;)

For me I like men of all ages but truth told, I'm not usually attracted to younger guys unless they have the smarts and maturity to keep up with me. I guess that's why I like my little boy toy, he's a 45 year old in a 24 year old body.

If I was single I doubt I'd date a guy much younger then me, no stability, they're still finding themselves, besides, I've already trained a few, don't want to do it anymore. ;)

Thankfully I'm not looking, happily married and very happy that I don't have to do the dating thing any more. It's hard work from the looks of all the relationship threads on AMHD.

I agree with not wanting to have to date anymore.

And I've seen your picture, you ARE hot.

[QLP]

MILF is much more frequently used here as well, and for the most part, means exactly the same thing. A hot older woman that gets the attention of a younger man.

I don't think either term is meant with any malice to women. Not how I've seen it used anyway.

Sort of a , "damn she is fine....." sort of way. Where-as Cougar..."damn she is fine....and she's availible and looking"

I have actually had a couple of young chaps say to me directly something like, 'You're sexy, you can be my MILF' Naturally I deterred them, simply saying. 'sorry I'm married.' I honestly don't think these young chaps were being deliberately offensive, I think they thought they were being complimentary. Don't find it an appealing term though personally.

[Enigma1999]

I agree with QLP! I too get called a MILF, and men tell me that I am sexy! I don't take offence to it. However, two years ago I was working weekends as cocktail waitress, and the men would make nasty remarks, and THAT was very offensive! For me, I guess it all depends on who's saying calling me a MILF... On another note, JMJoseph mentioned Alty was hot, haha Come on Alty, cough up some pictures, want to see what you look like! ;p

[jmjoseph]

I agree with QLP! I too get called a MILF, and men tell me that I am sexy! I don't take offence to it. However, two years ago I was working weekends as cocktail waitress, and the men would make nasty remarks, and THAT was very offensive! For me, I guess it all depends on who's saying calling me a MILF... On another note, JMJoseph mentioned Alty was hot, haha Come on Alty, cough up some pictures, wanna see what you look like! ;p

Here you go:https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...ers-43867.html

Look around at some of these!

Edit: you are pretty smoking yourself!

[Enigma1999]

Thank you JMJoseph! I was looking at some of them. We have a lot of nice looking people here. Still looking for Alty's, and I am not finding you! Lol

[Alty]

I don't remember which post my picture is on. I would post one here but I don't want to hijack Larkens thread. I'll take a look, see if I can find one. I've posted a few, old and new. :)

Also, JM is right Enigma, if your avy is your picture, you are hot! No, I'm not gay. ;)

Whenever a younger guy approaches me I just tell him "Sweetie, I'd break you, move on".

[Enigma1999]

Thank you Alty! You just made my day... I posted a while back a picture of me and now my ex husband on the pictures of the members on page 47, that one is better.