[CarrotTalker]

Also keep in mind, if she's doing it to her current boyfriend, she will most likely do it with you.

How would that make you feel?

[talaniman]

But I want to tell her how I truly feel.
I want to tell her to break up with him, and how I think things can work out with us and stuff
I just hear things from other people that their relationship isn't as strong as it was before.

And like I said, when he was here, she still saw me lots.
And she said if I asked her out she'd say yes.
She just seems stuck in her relationship, just afraid to hurt him. I just want to convince her and try one more time. Then I'll give up. I already lost a lot of dignity by chasing her this far

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/high-s...me-449911.html

From your other thread Feb. 28th.

Anyway
I cuddled with her,
She said she felt guilty about it, and started to not talk to me.
Then she started to talk to me again, even more, then
I was with her this weekend, and we hugged a lot, and held hands with each other and stuff.
And she told me that she feels bad that she might be leading me on, and that i deserve someone who can fully commit, and i said i don't want anything more than this friendship.
What do I do now?

From your current post April 2nd
.

I asked her who'd she rather be with right now, and after half an hour of saying she can't choose and such, she said right now she'd be with him, although she likes us the same, that history means so much to her.
So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. she said she wouldn't talk to me until i talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that i was here for her.I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday

So after not getting the answers you wanted, you started this thread, and against any advice we have given you, you're not ready to quit, and even after she has told you nothing but friends, you still want to talk to her again. By rights you should at least keep your own word to not talk to her until you're over her.

But since you won't listen to her, us, or yourself,
Go for it dude. Let us know how it works out. Now you have permission to be a fool, and get rid of the rest of your dignity, and self respect.

[Enigma1999]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/high-s...me-449911.html

From your other thread Feb. 28th.

From your current post April 2nd
.

So after not getting the answers you wanted, you started this thread, and against any advice we have given you, you're not ready to quit, and even after she has told you nothing but friends, you still want to talk to her again. By rights you should at least keep your own word to not talk to her until you're over her.

But since you wont listen to her, us, or yourself,
Go for it dude. Let us know how it works out. Now you have permission to be a fool, and get rid of the rest of your dignity, and self respect.

Lol Very witty! I love it! I would have given you a green, but I have to spread more love...

He doesn't want to listen to any of us, therefore he will ultimately end up hurting himself in the end! So be it!

[Homegirl 50]

You want this girl and are trying to justify continuing to go after her even after she has told you she only want to be friends.

I'm not understanding why some are blaming her and making her out to be a no good person. I think she is confused, but she still chooses to stay with her boyfriend.

You however care not that she has a boyfriend and will not leave him. You want what you want and that is selfish.
If you care about this girl, leave her alone and let her make a decision without your input. And if she decides to stay with this guy then that's the way it is.
It's time to take a big boy pill and leave this girl alone.

[Devorameira]

Please go back to the beginning of your post and re-read it all very carefully. Really think about what everyone is telling you, because the advice tells you exactly what you need to do.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but unless you can be happy simply being her guy on the side, you just can't win.

[whatisthis3]

You know what? You guys are right. Thanks.

But some people told me girls like to be chased, and I thought that this last chase might get her.
I think I might forever regret not telling her how I truly feel, that's what's going to bother me. I think I'll wait longer. Like 2 more weeks. I'll try to get over her, maybe see if she talks to me. If not, and I still feel the same way, then I can tell her. Is that OK?

[nitelight198073]

I believe you are being played for a fool
You are there to comfort her when her man is away she is telling you these sweet nothings to keep you around please think about this and don't get hurt hun

[whatisthis3]

So if I see her around school should I completely ignore her?
We see each other a lot

[Homegirl 50]

You know what? you guys are right. Thanks.

But some people told me girls like to be chased, and i thought that this last chase might get her.
I think I might forever regret not telling her how I truly feel, that's whats gonna bother me. I think I'll wait longer. Like 2 more weeks. I'll try to get over her, maybe see if she talks to me. If not, and I still feel the same way, then i can tell her. Is that ok?

You are missing the point. This girl has a boyfriend and you are bound and determined to step in to that territory. Leave her alone. If she wanted to leave her boy friend she would.
You have no right to tell her how you feel. That is out of line. Leave the girl alone.

[whatisthis3]

OK. Thanks everyone. I will stop interfering, and like talanmian said, I will get over her, and then try to be friends.
And How do I give rep points? Hahahaa

But The question is, do I ignore her at school or what?

[Cyberstar]

I agree with Homegirl 50's observation that she might be confused. What she is doing right now is wrong - it's both physical AND emotional cheating, and you should be wondering whether she will pull the same thing on you if you were together. However, due to lack of experience and lack of maturity, she is indecisive and trying to hold onto the best of both worlds. This doesn't make it right, in any way, shape or form, but my point is that when people engage in behaviour like this, it's not necessarily a character flaw fueled by malice, there is hope.

While what she is doing to both of you is terrible, I do hold an optimistic view that when she figures out what she really wants in a relationship, that whoever she ends up with shouldn't necessarily have to fear that she will pull this kind of thing on them, too. People make a lot of mistakes in terms of their actions when they are young, but experience is an excellent teacher.

But I have to say that I disagree with Homegirl 50 a bit on telling her how you feel; I think you have every right to express to this girl how you feel, but you just have to be prepared to deal with rejection. You do deserve a straight answer, and maybe a clear "no" is what you need in order to move on.

When you see her at school, and choose NOT to tell her how you feel, just continue to treat her as you would any regular friend, which means no flirting and no physical contact. You don't have to ignore her as long as you are clear in your head as to what's going on and remind yourself not to have false hope. Good luck.

[Enigma1999]

OK. Thanks everyone. I will stop interfering, and like talanmian said, I will get over her, and then try to be friends.
and How do I give rep points? hahahaa

But The question is, do I ignore her at school or what?

You don't have to be mean to her and completely ignore her... If you two make eye contact and she happens to say hi, say hi back. I just wouldn't go out of my way to make conversation. If you two are in passing and happen to see one another, you still can say hello. I see no harm in that. That only! See what I'm saying?

[whatisthis3]

Omg mixed advice now.cyberstar is giving good advice. I agree with him a lot.

But so did Talanmian.

And OK about the ignoring thing.


I'm just at a loss now. Tell her. Or not tell her and just get over it.

The second option gives me no chance to be with her right now.
First one shows I care, and Could give me a chance.


She just seems extremely stuck to him, I don't know how to convince her that she shouldn't be. She cares too much about not hurting him.

[talaniman]

Just me, I would be friendly but unavailable for any chit chat, if you see her, but I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to her. She knows how you feel, and knows what you want, but she has said very clearly, its friends only, so you must give yourself time to get over it, because she doesn't care if your suffering, or not, so just keep your own word, and don't talk to her until your better able to be a friend, and nothing more.

You're a real sucker for her passive/aggressive, whatever you want BS!! It keeps her innocent, and you looking foolish. She may not be a slut, but she sure knows how to use what she has to get what she wants. Listen guy she knows full well what your going through, and instead of caring she strings you along as a semi boyfriend, because she knows you're attracted, and want someone but have no one but her to hangout with. She knows your nose is open, and instead of telling you to back off (well she did say friends only) she lets you have false hope and keep trying.

Man up, and keep your own word!! Remember this?

So I said OK well we shouldn't be just friends since I will not be able to resist flirting with you, we should stop talking until I get over you. she said she wouldn't talk to me until i talked to her. I said she could if it was really important and that I was here for her.I haven't talked to her for five days. We go back to school next Monday

Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

[whatisthis3]

Thanks talaniman

But she's only in high school. Its her first relation ship, and I know she's not experienced at all.

I can feel she likes me more than him, she's just stuck to him. She can't get enough courage to let him go.

And she does care if I'm suffering. We were so close, we told each other everything, and we were like best friends. She isn't the type of person that would consciously use someone.
And she never really did say friends only. Where do you get that from?

And if she does talk to me while I'm getting over her, does that mean something?

[talaniman]

QUOTE BY whatisthis3,
Thanks talaniman, but she's only in high school. Its her first relation ship, and I know she's not experienced at all.

Oh please, that doesn't mean she isn't savvy in the way of men, nor that she doesn't know what she is doing. You underestimate her for sure.

I can feel she likes me more than him, she's just stuck to him. She can't get enough courage to let him go.

That what you think, but have no facts to back that up.

and she does care if I'm suffering. We were so close, we told each other everything, and we were like best friends. She isn't the type of person that would consciously use someone.
And she never really did say friends only. Where do you get that from?

"She likes me as well, she told me.
but she said she doesnt want anyone to get hurt me or him, and that our friendship is above everything else
and i told her im patient, and she should focus on her current relation ship."

"she told me that she feels bad that she might be leading me on, and that i deserve someone who can fully commit, and i said i don't want anything more than this friendship.
What do I do now?" Your word,not mine.

and if she does talk to me while I'm getting over her, does that mean something?

It means it will take you longer to get over her because you will always think you have a chance of changing her mind, and dumping her guy, for you. You can't be a friend when you have a hidden agenda, that's not friends.

[whatisthis3]

K so my friend whose friends with her
Keeps telling me to tell her how I feel.
My friend is pretty close with her, and she knows lots.
I ask my friend if I have a chance, and she always gives me mixed answers, like yes/no and I don't know, its just confusing me.
My friend just tells me I need to talk to her in person

And its not like she wants to be friends.
She just thinks and tells me its all we could be right now since she has a boyfriend. She likes me.. she told me. Isn't that enough to say that she likes me more than him? But is just afraid to break up with him

[Homegirl 50]

No, what that means is she likes you as a friend but she likes her relationship with her boy friend more.
You are wanting something that is not yours. If she wanted you instead of him she would leave him. You want a possible chance with her? Leave her alone and move on with your life, maybe you two will hook up at a later time, but for now she is with someone else.

[Clough]

I remember when I was in high school having a lot of girls as good friends who already had boyfriends. Nothing unusual about it!

[whatisthis3]

All right OK update

I did talk to her. Went well, I convinced her. Some of my other friends did too, and she now planned to break up with him.
One week before today, we talk, and she tells me that she doesn't want a relationship the next year, and doesn't want to hurt all over again since its just hs, she's looking to be single. But she's also like interested in relationships without the title, like everything without the term, and she said she'd try that with me to.
(Like I know she didn't say this just so she won't have to have a relationship with me. She said this because one of our mutual friends is in kind of a friends/bene relationship, But it's a little more, like they have feelings for eachother(a relationship with no titles). And he like told her about his philosophy, and in effect, she now agrees with him after one week of thinking, that relationships in hs = bad and not going to work out and just messy.)
She said we have a lot of potential, and she doesn't want to waste it just now, if it was meant to be, it would happen.

Yesterday, we talk again, I tell her that I currently am looking for a relationship with titles, but that I'm OK with what she wants too, that I'd just go with the flow, that if she broke up with him, we'd just be friends until she got over him, and if we still had feelings for eachohter, we'd start talking after. If we didn't have feelings, we'd stay friends.
we promised to tell the other person if one person loses his or her feelings for the other any time along the way.and I said and If we did start talking after, we can decide then if we want a relationship or not. If we want completely different things then, we'd just be friends again. She agreed. She also said first relationships don't work out very well( since it would be my first, I guess cause the one before wasn't really a relationship.. ) and that she said I should have more experience
I said would she be jealous if I saw someone else, and she said well yeah I wouldn't think any girl would be good enough for you. And she said don't think its personal if I don't talk to you for the next few days cause she needed to think about some stuff,I responded the same. (In effect we distanced our selves).. for a couple hours causeee

Last night, same day, she called me, crying saying she broke up with him. I tried comforting her, saying its OK, she kind of got mad. And I was supposed to go over to her house tommorow(today) and I asked on the phone if she wants me there to comfort her, she just said is that all you care about. And she said she'd talk to me tommorow(today), and hung up. Still hasn't contacted me, I don't expect her too
What do I do