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hamzaabid · Apr 1, 2010, 03:10 PM

I am 23 years old, I was in a relationship since the last 3 and half years, I loved my girlfriend very much but after a year of a relationship she cheated on me with my best friend, she told me herself about it after a while and said she didn't have sex with him and she was sorry about it so I forgave her that nothing would happen again. In the mean time she became very close to him and my parents didn't like it so I told her but she won't listen, she said she is too independent, meanwhile she continued to be with me and had sex with me. But she would go out with him kiss him and left me alone. When I threatened to leave her she said that she is mad and threatened to kill herself she even cut her wrist more than a dozen times now that I left her she went out with another guy and made out with him a couple of times and asked me to come back or she will show me her loneliness like this, by going out with other guys. Now my best friend and the other guy has left her and she realizes her mistakes and wants to come back to me and when I said no to her, she threatens to kill herself and even tried to commit suicide by cutting her wrist. I am very afraid as I feel like it would be my fault as I didn't give her another chance but I know I will be miserable with her but I know if she does something I will be miserable. She is consulting some psychiatrist too. Please help me I still love her but I am helpless

AmericanGirl01 · Apr 1, 2010, 03:17 PM

I would strongly suggest you contact her parents and tell them what is happening. There is no reason why you should have to be in a relationship with someone that cheats on you numerous of times, manipulates you or threatens to kill themselves if you don't take them back.

Please tell someone, whether it be her parents or a doctor!

hamzaabid · Apr 1, 2010, 03:21 PM

I told her parents about it not everything about the cheating and stuff. Even today when she cut herself up she called me before that I rushed to her house. And asked his dad to check her up , he broke the bathroom door and found her there bleeding. She has been consulting a doctor and she is mentally ill. I want to help her but hw.

Kitkat22 · Apr 1, 2010, 03:28 PM

I agree with AmericanGirl... Her parents need to know. They can have her committed if they tell about her suicide attempt. It's hard to let go of someone you love, but I think This girl is playing you.

She is not getting her way so she tells you she is going to kill herself. I don't think she's serious, but just in case call her parents and think about moving on. You come across as a very nice guy and you deserve some nice girl who is going to treat you right... Blessings :)

AmericanGirl01 · Apr 1, 2010, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by hamzaabid

i told her parents about it not everything about the cheating and stuff. even today when she cut herself up she called me before that i rushed to her house. and asked his dad to check her up , he broke the bathroom door and found her there bleeding. she has been consulting a doctor and she is mentally ill. i want to help her but hw.

Of course you want to help her, but are you willing to get back together with her just so she doesn't hurt herself? Then what happens in the future when she sleeps around on you again? Are you supposed to stay with her out of fear for her life?

This is beyond your control now, like you said she is mentally ill and she is being helped by professionals. You've told her parents, she's seeing a doctor, this is where your involvement has to stop. As harsh as it sounds, you have a life too and you need to start taking control over it.

Kitkat22 · Apr 1, 2010, 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by AmericanGirl01

Of course you want to help her, but are you willing to get back together with her just so she doesn't hurt herself? Then what happens in the future when she sleeps around on you again? Are you supposed to stay with her out of fear for her life?

This is beyond your control now, like you said she is mentally ill and she is being helped by professionals. You've told her parents, she's seeing a doctor, this is where your involvement has to stop. As harsh as it sounds, you have a life too and you need to start taking control over it.

If you do continue this relationship, you will be at her beck and call and when you don't do something she wants, she'll threaten suicide. Do you want to always be walking on eggshells? I'm sorry but you need to look at things as they are. She really isn't for a nice guy like you!

Showme_urmove · Apr 1, 2010, 04:56 PM

They are all right bro, its out of your control. You did what you had to do by contacting her parents, now she has professiona, now you can move on and live your life. Hey I knew a girl before that used to cut her wrest. She said the reason why she does it is out of addiction, its like people smokes when they get stressed. As weird as that sounds they get pleasure out of hurting themselves. She was 13 when she did that now she's almost 18 and she haven't done it for a long time. There is nothing you can do but move on with your life. Also she is using fear to get you running to her, and she knows its working so she's going to use that power to keep you around.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 1, 2010, 05:02 PM

You need to stop all contact with her, she will use and use and use, if she says she has cut herself, call the police and let them go over to her home. The longer you let her control you, the harder it is

Kitkat22 · Apr 1, 2010, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

you need to stop all contact with her, she will use and use and use, if she says she has cut herself, call the police and let them go over to her home. The longer you let her control you, the harder it is

People who are serious about suicide do not threaten every other day. She's using you and if you let her she'll drag you down to her level. Stop letting her use you!

Devorameira · Apr 1, 2010, 05:27 PM

I think you know what you want to do but you’re scared to do it. Your girlfriend is blackmailing you with threats of killing herself. This isn’t love. This is manipulation. You’ve already decided this relationship isn’t for you. Sadly, your girlfriend would settle for a captive rather than someone who really wants to be with her. You need to leave and she needs help.

Once you split up with your girlfriend, she’s no longer your responsibility. Your girlfriend is saying this to try and make you stay with her. Don't though, it’s not the basis of a relationship and you shouldn’t have to suffer an unhappy relationship just on the risk that she will do something stupid.

Be brave, stay away from her, and get on with your life, you have nothing to feel bad about.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 1, 2010, 05:30 PM

There is nothing you can do to help this girl, she is mentally ill. Let her parents and professionals take care of her.
If you keep taking her back, coming every time she calls, you are enabling her. You will be miserable and she will not get the help she needs.
Make a clean break and move on with your life.
I wish you well.

vanheart · Apr 1, 2010, 05:45 PM

You only have control over your life not hers.

Plus she cheated on you with your best friend. Then tries to manipulate you with suicide threats & threads of dating other guys, c'mon.
That's simply disgusting.

Don't fall for her lies & BS anymore.

You don't need this type of person.

Kitkat22 · Apr 1, 2010, 05:45 PM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

There is nothing you can do to help this girl, she is mentally ill. Let her parents and professionals take care of her.
If you keep taking her back, coming every time she calls, you are enabling her. You will be miserable and she will not get the help she needs.
Make a clean break and move on with your life.
I wish you well.

End it and move on. She's not the one for you. She's a user and apparently the words "Honesty and Trust" are not in her vocabulary.