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hb12 · Mar 30, 2010, 03:24 PM

I have a 12 year old son, his biological father has never been in the picture, the man I am with now has been with my son since he was 1. We got his name legally changed on his birth certificate to my current husband last name and also added him on the birth certificate. Does his biological father still have legal rights? By the way the biological father was never on the birth certificate.

ScottGem · Mar 30, 2010, 03:38 PM

Please pay more attention to posting guidelines. There is a Read First sticky in the Children forum (where this was moved from) that directs questions of a legal nature to this forum.

I'm wondering how you got the name and birth certificate changed without identifying the bio father. This goes to the legality of the name change.

If all the legalities were followed, then your husband would appear to be the legal father and the bio father is out of the picture.

But the only legal way that I know of to have your husband added to the birth certificate, let only change your son's name, is if your husband adopted him. If it was an adoption and it was done without any attempt to get the bio father to agree, then it might not be legal.

cdad · Mar 30, 2010, 04:29 PM

What did the courts tell you about name changes and the adding of the name on the birth certificate ?

Fr_Chuck · Mar 30, 2010, 06:01 PM

If the bio father was not properly served, he can contest and perhaps even overturn your name changes.

So more info on how you did this, was he notified and failed to replay, did he give her permission ?

hb12 · Mar 31, 2010, 12:10 PM

I ran it legally throw the courst of course. I have no idea where bio father is at, so it had to be ran through the public paper, which was done. I had no way to serve him papers considering I didn't now his where abouts. If he himself (bio) seen it in the paper he had every right to protest but never did... I have 3 other children from my current husband - questions were asked in the legal documents as to why I want to change his name. I stated for confusion of schooling with his other siblings and his bio father is/nor was no where to be found... My son has no idea that his name was different when he was born, he has no idea that the person he calls dad is not his biological, as far as he is consernded my husband is dad his raised him as his own... When the name change was done on his birth certificate, I asked Vital Records if we can add my husband to the birth certificate, no questions were asked they told me it can be done considering his name was changed to my husbands last name.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 31, 2010, 12:54 PM

If his name was "added" to the birth certificate then he adopted the child.
Since you can't just "change the name or add one when another father is known"

So since you appear to have adopted him, that stopped any rights the father may have.

Of course if the father proved you really knew where he was, or he was easily found and you did not follow court procedure to search for him, he could contest.

hb12 · Mar 31, 2010, 01:50 PM

Yes everything was done through court prcedures. Thank you for your help!

cdad · Mar 31, 2010, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by hb12

Yes everything was done through court prcedures. Thank you for your help!

Actually not everything was done though the courts if what you said is true. By allowing a name change it didn't take any rights away from the father of the child. And it was actually illegal to have your husbands name out on the birth certificate unless it was done by court order. Seems you skipped right over that part. The clerk should have never allowed it because the name change had nothing to do with granting your husband as the legal father.

ScottGem · Mar 31, 2010, 03:43 PM

Califdad beat me to it. He is 100% right. The clerk overstepped the bounds and had no right to change the birth certificate under the circumstances. Plus if you have no proof that the clerk agreed to do this, you could get in trouble for forging a legal document.

It sounds like you did everything correctly for the name change. Service by advertisement is an accepted way of providing notice. However, changing the birth certificate requires a court order of adoption.

I would strongly suggest that you pursue an adoption at this point to make sure your legal requirements are covered. Otherwise it may come back to haunt you.

Finally, I'm going to stray from the legal here. You NEED to tell your son the truth. He is old enough to understand. Eventually he will find out the truth and the longer you wait the worse its going to be when he finds out. At 12 he is at a very good age to be told the truth. Not too soon and not too late.

hb12 · Apr 1, 2010, 02:00 PM

And this I didn't know that is why the question was asked when the birth certificate was done.. I myself should have looked into that part closer!
Yes I know that he needs to know eventually he will find out, but my husband has a hard time talking about it, let alone telling him.. Every time I try to bring it up about telling my son, he blows over into something big.. My husband doesn't see the other side of it, I just think his scared of losing my son to someone else! If you can help me with a way to speak to him please I'm open to suggestions

ScottGem · Apr 1, 2010, 05:30 PM

The standard answer is that your husband CHOSE to raise the child as his son. He did not raise him out of a biological obligation.

What I would do is first consult with an attorney to see about making this all legal with an adoption. I would then go to your son and explain to him that his father is the person who raised him, not the person who you mistakenly had sex with long ago. That his father loves him so much that he wants to make sure that he is fully and completely his father by adopting him.

But the longer you wait, the GREATER the chance of him losing his son due to being lied to.

hb12 · Apr 7, 2010, 09:56 AM

And that's my biggest fear is that if we wait any longer his going to hate us for lying to him all this time... and not just my husband losing him but me as well... and the problem right now is that we don't have the funds to get an attorney to help us with adoption.

Synnen · Apr 7, 2010, 10:17 AM

I'm all for kids knowing that they were adopted from the very beginning--then no lies are told, and no trust is lost.

Maybe YOU should sit down with your son, alone, without his father, and explain it. If for NO other reason, he has the right to know for medical reasons.

ScottGem · Apr 7, 2010, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by hb12

and that's my biggest fear is that if we wait any longer his going to hate us for lying to him all this time.... and not just my husband losing him but me as well.... and the problem right now is that we don't have the funds to get an attorney to help us with adoption.

Have you tried pricing attorneys? Many will take payment over time for adoptions. You can also try a local law school. Many have clinics that will prepare the paperwork for you.

hb12 · Apr 8, 2010, 12:20 PM

Thank You I will have to look into that!