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nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 12:53 AM

What's a good open ended question to keep a conversation going when approaching a person of any sex in the gym. I want to face my weakness of quick ending conversations and talk to strangers in any setting without coming across as sleazy.

Larken85 · Mar 29, 2010, 02:32 AM

Hi how are you doing today. Then small chit chat about the type of exercise you are doing. Remember that some people just do not want to talk in general, its not you. Got to ask, do you look sleazy? I am not trying to insult you but the way you dress tells a person much more than the words you speak. And the body language you use is pretty pivital too. Just be relaxed and spark up a conversation.
There are certain times when it is really good to do it too. Like if something bad happens and you are both like "I hate when that happens" (in a cheerful voice.) And that can set it off right there.
If you see someone who is scowling it is a hit or miss situation. They are ticked off or depressed about something, if it is depression chances have it that you will be able to ask if they need someone to talk to and you will automatically be that person if they are open about it. If they are ticked off it could end up badly with him-her screaming about minding your own business and what not.
I would pick a female to start with as they are much easier talkers and most women (I said most not all) will have no sexual intentions in the conversation. A male on the otherhand will have sexual tension either thinking you are hitting on him or interested in dating him. Not all men are like this but a lot of us are. I know I am. I don't have a single friendly relationship with any female simply because it was always too hard to stay friends. Wow I just got off on a tangent there lol. Basically my advice is to shrug off the fear of rejection because 99% chance is you will find someone to talk to. Also if it is friendship you are looking for then its something you are going to have to built. If it is a relationship you are looking for you are going to up your game a bit and flirt without directly flirting. (meaning comment on a shirt or something but don't go over there and feel him/her up.) Men like girls who are assertive but you can't go over the top with the touchy feely or A. the guy/girl will think you are a piece of meat and taste you once and put you back or B.the guy/girl will be totally turned off and want out of the conversation as fast as possible. I am sure from your post that neither of these is the response you want so just don't go all touching the person and invading their personal space.
That's the best I can do, hope it helps.

nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 02:54 AM

Ok. I just want to mention I am quite friendly, flirtatious and happy so maybe this might come off the wrong way. I also want to be able to talk to guys without them thinking that I want to jump their bones. Is that possible.

Larken85 · Mar 29, 2010, 02:59 AM

Lol yes but it is hard to make guys think they don't have a chance. Are you strait or lesbian?
You got to find just the right guy in order for him to understand that friendship is all you are looking for. If that is all you are looking for in men that it.

nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 03:24 AM

Im straight

nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 03:28 AM

But if I approach a guy in the gym and start chatting I keep thinking that he'll try to shrug me off because he'll think I'm desperate for making the move. Maybe its just trial and error.

Larken85 · Mar 29, 2010, 03:42 AM

Mostly trial and error yes. You got to lose some games to learn the game. But here is a nice and devious suggestion. Accidentally drop your gym bag on purpose in front of a guy you like ;) if he is worth his salt he'll rush to help you. Just act like you were being clumsy and be a little embarrassed. Make sure it doesn't look fake but don't kill yourself trying.

However again if you are just looking to talk to a guy ask one for help. That is what we do naturally, we love helping pretty girls no matter if we have a chance or not. I don't know what it is, but it can be easy to start a conversation on the topic of help alone.

nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 03:51 AM

Funny id love to do the whole clumsy act or can you please help me with... but because I'm a personal trainer I think it makes it harder. But I get the just. Ur a champ.

Larken85 · Mar 29, 2010, 03:54 AM

Lol thanks. I had no clue you were a personal trainer... how can you find it hard to talk to people, you do it for a living... Wow, even people who seems super confident fear that stuff too... interesting. Never thought about how someone in your shoes felt when talking to people. Nice to have an outside view.

A little Ditzy is hot by the way.

nicolii · Mar 29, 2010, 04:02 AM

Well that's the problem. As a trainer I talk to guys (and yes I am ditsy and cutsie) and attract clients who only train with me for the perve. So they don't take me seriously which is why I'm on this website asking this question in the first place.

Larken85 · Mar 29, 2010, 04:11 AM

Oh got it. Hmmm. Well then maybe its time to be a little harder on them lol. Just make them know who is boss lol. Well really you got to make yourself look smart but not snuddy, so be kind but firm and precise. Don't be ditsy, just try and be a little more serious.
Once they see the change in you they should respect you more. I would think so at least.