[Saby2284]

My husband and I are saved and we have three children. Lately my husband has been living his old life style of drugs and hanging out with not so good group he calls friends. He has change to worse. I am so not happy that he is doing this and being not so good role model to our kids. My question is this: should I stay in this marriage and take it as it is and continue to pray for him or leave until he humbled himself and be right again? I don't want to make a choice because of how I'm feeling. I know deeply in my heart what he is doing is effecting me and the kids emotionally and my walk with my lord Jesus Christ . Thank u for reading my question.

[sabrewolfe]

Maybe separate for awhile to give him an oppurtunity to come to terms with how he wants to continue to live the rest of his life. This will also spererate your children from his bad behaviors while he straightens up.

[JoeCanada76]

Living his old lifestyle like please give exact examples.

Do you still love your husband?

Counseling is important whenever there needs to be more communication and ways of dealing with certain issues.

We do not know much about your marriage. So how can we make that judgment call to quit it or not.

Do you have stricter belief system then your husband.
Speaking from a Christian point of view. Marriage is through good times and bad times, through sickness and health, right.

He is not abusive? Is He?

I say you both need counseling and better communication between the two of you.

[Saby2284]

Jeusushelper76> Of course I love my husband we have been married for almost 9 years and 11 years in together in total. I just don't love his bad ways. He use to be abusive emotionally before he was saved. Now I believe if he continues this path it will lead to a lot of problems drugs change everything. He says he does not need counseling and that he doesn't need to go. I would love counseling but if he is not wailing to do his part then How is it going to work? I just want to make the right choice. I know its not fair for me and the kids to see him do this to himself.

[JoeCanada76]

You can go to counseling on your own, and maybe work through things yourself for right now. New ways and ideas on how to approach the situation with your husband. You said your afraid that he is going to continue going down the wrong path does that mean he has not yet? Your just fearful that he will. Go to individual counseling and maybe it will give you a head start and ideas how to deal with these situations with your husband, possibly ideas on how do deal with it better.

Thank you for posting and wish you and your family the best. Love will get you both and your family through all things.

[belovedgift]

Hey saby:
I am a recovered alcoholic/addict who believes in Jesus. I empathize with your situation and know how sick you are of it. You should Know,you are not alone,and many people have much better advice to help see you through than I. I would like to suggest you find a local meeting of Alanon. These people have been or are going through what you are experiencing. Contact a local A.A. group,they may help you find one.

[sndbay]

Do some forget that God did indeed divorce Israel for a sinful nature of backsliding?

Jeremiah 3:8 And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

God's intentions were to give us new nature. The new man!

Eph 2:15 Having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace

Eph 4:24 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Col 3:10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him


Remember what witten Word of God that speaks of cutting off the member that sins. The ONE BODY in Christ has many members, which is each of us as one member. If one of us has a sinful nature we are told to cut it off from us.

1 Cr 12:14 For the body is not one member, but many.

And this is exactly what you are saying can happen by the abuse your husband has shown. (all will suffer by his abusiveness)

1 Cr 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

We are told to cut off the member that sins and causes us to suffer, because all can be influenced unto death.

Matthew 5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

[JoeCanada76]

We are talking about marriage here. What is said about marriage. Start quoting those scriptures then you will get the right answers. The quotes up there have nothing to do with this persons situation or marriage.

[arcura]

Saby2284
You have received some good advice so far.
I, as a former councilor do highly recommend that you seek out a ALANON group and present your problem to them.
All there have been through situations such as yours and the advice you get is very helpful as is the support you will experience.
Don't just think about it, do it.
The longer you wait to worse it can get and delaying will make you and enabler. That is something you surely do not want to be.
If you don't know what an enabler is ask about that at the ALENON meeting.
Peace and kindness,
Fred