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tm0609 · Mar 27, 2010, 07:32 AM

I was dating a girl for close to two years. I made the mistake of talking to my ex and things were said and a picture was sent. I did not physically cheat. Now that we are broken up, I have learned so many lessons and have matured so much from this. I am trying to keep hope for as long as possible but it is so hard. Since we broke up, she is hanging out with a friend at work. She says she is doing it, to miss me and want me back. Also, to be happy when giving me a second chance. I know for a fact that she is lying to me about what she has done with this guy. They haven't done anything serious but it's still the fact that she has lied. I went out to a club and she was very upset about this. I don't understand it because she is hanging out with a guy 1 on 1. I just went with friends I knew and she knew. How long do I wait this out? I know she needs time, but I stay up every night thinking and wondering. How long do I hold on to hope?

I wish · Mar 27, 2010, 07:38 AM

How about zero more seconds?

If she wanted to work things out with you, she wouldn't be out with other guys. Sounds like you've become her backup plan. While she's out experimenting with other guys, she's keeping you as a backup plan just in case it doesn't work out with other guys.

Is that what you want? To be her safety net?

CarrotTalker · Mar 27, 2010, 12:33 PM

You should move on. You made the mistake of talking to the ex, you lost her trust. She isn't necessarily the bad guy here!

It's great that you learned from your mistakes, but it sounds like its too late for her to come back to you.

ohsohappy · Mar 27, 2010, 02:03 PM

Give it up man, you screwed up and she's leaving you on a string.

You move on, stop talking to her, and keep in mind what you've learned from the experience and never make that mistake again (with someone else.)

She's out, and she needs to stay out so that the both of you can heal.

The end.

talaniman · Mar 27, 2010, 07:29 PM

How long do I hold on to hope?

Are you insane or something, you never wait, and hold out hope for someone who lies, and is doing her thing with someone else. You do your own thing, and never ever take her back under any circumstances. NONE.

Talk about being played for a fool! Yes that's you.

amicon · Mar 27, 2010, 11:54 PM

You don't wait around nurturing false hope.

You go no contact and start living again.

Leave her to her guy from work and hopefully learn from your mistakes.

Devorameira · Mar 30, 2010, 02:27 PM

She's not the only one at fault here. Just remember that you started this by having some type of involvement with the ex.

I think it's time to move on and just chalk this up to another life lesson!

Jake2008 · Mar 30, 2010, 04:24 PM

You have broken up. She doesn't owe you honesty, or fidelity, or promises, or anything, anymore than a complete stranger on the street.

It is the end, it's over, and likewise, you do not owe her any more of your time wondering if things may or may not work out.

Life is short, don't waste another moment on 'what if's'.

AmericanGirl01 · Apr 1, 2010, 10:38 AM

Well, that's great that you've matured and learnt your lesson because I would hate to see you make this mistake again in the future. No, you may not have cheated physically, but you cheated on her emotionally and for some women, that is just as bad.

It doesn't matter if she's lying about this guy, hanging out with him or even having sex with him, it's all irrelevant. You're not together anymore, she doesn't owe you anything. Whatever excuse she is giving you on why she is hanging out with this guy is also irrelevant. The fact is, she is out with other guys, not you. Don't allow yourself to be strung along like a puppet.

The other members have already said it best, don't wait for her. You've learnt from your mistake, now save your dignity and move on.