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jmfg · Mar 22, 2010, 08:28 AM

hi I need some advice. I'm 2, she's 18, we've been dating my girlfriend for just a little over a year now, and things were going wonderful. Until just after this last christmas.

we used to shower everyday together and be practically inseparable with just about everything. We would cuddle together every morning and night.

now she never wants me near her when she is showering, she goes in there and locks the door and puts on loud music. When she goes to her volunteer service thing, I used to always go with her, now she made some excuse about how I should go with because she'll get in trouble. THERE Wasn't A PROBLEM BEFORE!! I just don't get it

I don't think she is cheating, I just couldn't see her doing that. But there is definitely something going on. The other day she randomly just left outside without saying anything, and when I went out there I heard her on the phone, then when I saw her she denied ever being on the phone or even having it. So I ask her where it is and immediately she goes and grabs it from right under the bed. I checked there before I asked her. It definitely was not there. She had the phone with her. I just really need some advice.
I can't think straight anymore, I'm losing sleep, I never play my guitar any more. Life seems so bland and tasteless now. Thanks for your time sorry its so long.

p.s. if your going to post some comment about anything to do with our sex life, then please don't bother. Sex has nothing to do with this. I love it but its far less important than keeping her. Ill never bone again if I have to. Have a nice day.
-jmfg

Synnen · Mar 22, 2010, 09:05 AM

Since sex has nothing to do with this, I'm moving it to the RELATIONSHIP forums.

talaniman · Mar 22, 2010, 09:13 AM

Things change in a relationship, that's why you pay attention, get facts (not just feelings) and talk it over.

I would certainly find out why she is acting so differently. And when trust is lost, so goes the relationship. When the communications goes, the relationship is gone.

amicon · Mar 22, 2010, 09:23 AM

Time to have an honest,serious conversation about what's going on in your relationship.

The sooner the better.

Devorameira · Mar 22, 2010, 02:34 PM

I know you don't want to hear it, but when someone hides their phone, has secretive conversations, and avoids their SO, there is some definite problems there. To me it points to a very real possibility that she's seeing, or at least communicating, with someone else. She may not be having a physical affair, but could be having an emotional affair.

Bottom line is that you two need to talk. If she won't talk to you about what's going on, then it may be time for you to move on, because without communication there is no relationship to even work on.

Synnen · Mar 22, 2010, 02:54 PM

See... to me, it's the "practically inseparable" that's the problem.

EVERYONE needs time away from their SO, and needs time to do things with other friends and people (like volunteering) without having their girlfriend/boyfriend constantly hovering.

My guess is that the honeymoon period of your relationship has passed, and that she doesn't know how to tell you that she needs more SPACE from you without it being hurtful to you.

But... like everyone else says--you have to TALK to her about it.