Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Ash123's Avatar
    Ash123 Posts: 1,793, Reputation: 305
    Ultra Member
     
    #161

    May 9, 2010, 08:49 PM

    It will be hard at first but 100% (ZERO cheating... with family, friends, run ins, business, email, IM, Facebook, etc) and you will be laughing about this one day. Mark the date! You can leave a message for me one day!

    A
    the_original's Avatar
    the_original Posts: 177, Reputation: 51
    Junior Member
     
    #162

    May 26, 2010, 01:40 PM

    All right, well things were going really well... I recently got promoted (already-only been a month) at my work because I have been doing so well, and I had a great long weekend with my friends, and than Sunday night she texts.

    It only said "hey whats up long time no talk". Again kind of pointless (if you have been following this thread this one was much like her past msgs). I was OK with it initially, it didn't bother me the rest of the night like it used to. I haven't responded to it, as I truly am trying to stick to complete NC, but again I don't understand... it would be awesome if I can give a woman's input on this:

    The last time I saw her in person, I asked her to not contact me whatsoever UNLESS she was considering trying again. This was almost 2 months ago. Since then I have received about 4-5 texts from her and 1 FB message, all just saying "hey whats up?" I made the foolish mistake of responding to one about a month ago, and little came of it. I want to know why she does this! Its like every 3 weeks she feels the urge to say "whats up" or check in, just when I don't think about her any more, she texts me and gives me a reason to again. I don't get what's to gain of these little "catch up" texts every few weeks? Do I make a point to respond and say "Stop" next time this happens? I actually had a dream last night and we were back together, hanging out in our apartment with a few of my friends, and having a good time. This has never ever happened.

    Sorry if this reads like a jumbled mess, I feel like one right now though. I think I did the right thing not responding, but this can't keep happening. I can do without the constant reminders you know? Id also like some insight on maybe why she does this...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #163

    May 26, 2010, 02:12 PM

    A text is the easiest way to get your attention, and keep you thinking about her. Keep ignoring it, and she will get the hint.

    They didn't have texting, or cell phones in my day so I can't be sure, but find out how to block unwanted texts, and use it. Even if you have to change your number, it has to be better than being harassed, as she is just trying your patience, and knows eventually you will cave. DON'T!!

    In a battle of wills, let her be frustrated by your silence. Don't make a big deal of it, or she still wins because your miserable. I would be annoyed, but firm in my stand.
    the_original's Avatar
    the_original Posts: 177, Reputation: 51
    Junior Member
     
    #164

    May 26, 2010, 03:53 PM

    I get what your saying tal... but even so what's the point in trying my patience? For the duration of the 2 months after we had broken up where we still worked together, this girl truly, genuinely, 100% seemed like she did not give two sh**s about me... so why does she need me "thinking about her"... like... im more angry and frustrated with it all than anything else, her actions make no sense, and contradict everything I asked for the last time we spoke in person. I just don't get it.

    Please... why the little reminder texts to think about her? What does she gain? And what to do if this happens again... which after a certain period it most definitely will if history is any indicator.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #165

    May 26, 2010, 05:04 PM

    My point, don't focus on what she does, pesky as it is. Focus on what you do.

    You have obviously not dealt with unruly children.
    the_original's Avatar
    the_original Posts: 177, Reputation: 51
    Junior Member
     
    #166

    Jun 11, 2010, 12:01 PM

    Well amhd... its amazing what can change in 2 weeks. Where to start...

    Her text messages never stopped, they just got more frequent. So, I asked her to stop. I was honest the whole way through. I explained to her I wasn't fully over her, and being friends would just do more damage to me and it wasn't worth it to me. She pushed for the friendship, but I stayed strong and said no. this happened around the beginning of June, and she seems to have stopped... so that's a plus. And the big news... I got accepted to the canadian forces today! I can't even describe how amazing that feeling felt, and knowing it wouldn't have happened if I was still with her. All my debts got cleared up thanks to a family member, I now have a clean slate for my drivers license and I can now rebuild my credit. Couple that with being accepted to the forces and my life is finally taking shape and looking brighter than ever. I owe a lot of my emotional strength to the fellow posters here at AMHD... I don't know that I would have made it without the words of encouragement and constant support. Add me to the success list!
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
    Ultra Member
     
    #167

    Jun 11, 2010, 12:07 PM

    I read your post with interest,excellent news on your turn around,I wish you the best of luck in the future,if for whatever reason she texts again, you no what to do.. NO CONTACT!

    Keep a cool head and you'll win the day.
    the_original's Avatar
    the_original Posts: 177, Reputation: 51
    Junior Member
     
    #168

    Jun 11, 2010, 03:53 PM

    Thank you... the future definitely looks bright
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #169

    Jun 20, 2010, 12:45 PM

    Sorry for very late reply-all the best and take good care of yourself.:-)

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

My girlfreind 0f 5 years has dumped me yet again for 5th time what to do ? [ 11 Answers ]

Threads merged and edited for spelling and grammar I met my girlfriend of 5yrs in school. For 1 year we stayed apart,then she came to study in the same city where I was studying. We had decided that we would continue although we were miles apart. In the last 5 years she has dumped me 5 times,...

Pretty good horror movie, trying to find the title [ 1 Answers ]

In this move, a teacher holds a gun to a student's head and the student pees his pants and in the same scene the teacher blows his own brains out, but gets back up. This is in the beginning of this movie which tells about three different stories.

Is five years a good time to renew our vows [ 3 Answers ]

My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married for four. We were thinking about havinga renewel ceramony on our fifth wedding anniversary. When we got married it was in a courthouse and I was 5 months pregnant. I really want to have a wedding and over the past five years we have gone...

Girlfriend dumped me after 4 years and called me for the 1st time since. [ 6 Answers ]

Ok I wrote a thing a while back when this 1st happened. Today she called me and we were talking. It was going normal until she said this. She said that she still loves and cares for me but doesn't know if she is still in love with me and she said she wants to think about it. I then asked...

Dumped after 5 years. [ 8 Answers ]

We were together 5 years and engaged. We lived together 4 of the years and then as she was about to graduate Law School she dumped me. I am heart broken and feel as if my life has ended. I have finally stopped calling, texting or emailing her. I hope she will notice. Yet it seems like she is so...


View more questions Search