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coffeebaby · Mar 19, 2010, 02:29 AM

I think he was kind of tipsy from drinking a bit too much last night. He said that maybe I was right that he needs to get laid. He's a good looking lad I just don't get it what's the problem with him getting a chick or two to have a one night stand, since he doesn't want to commit in a relationship. He said he does not want to sex other girls, he wants to get laid with me. He asked if he wasn't my bro (we claim each other as bro and sis) would I hv sex with him. I said I don't know. I asked why such question. He said "just asking, dont know..maybe i wana have sex with u but i dont wana lose u as friend or sis. i dont want the relationship between u and i 2 be broken". So I asked why not he sex others? He said "im picky for a sex partner". "but i think sex will ruin both of our relationship, im afraid i will hurt u." I asked why he thinks sex will ruin us. He said "cuz i knw u dont want it. and i dont want us to only have sex without love. remember we agreed sex without love=no great sex? u will think i am like the guys that did the stuff to u and u will think im annoying and u dont like hanging out with me anymore. i dont want u to get hurt anymore. i dont want sex only for pleasure and not long term. i rather see u more often. but if u want to get laid with me tho i'd wait for u (he's currently in another country and coming back next year)."

I Don't UNDERSTAND how could he say he doesn't want to hv sex with others and wants to have sex with one person (me)... but says he doesn't want to hurt the person (me)? It makes more sense if he has sex with others and tells me that he doesn't want to hurt me, right?

... I'm confused. I don't know what ACTUALLY is going on. Or what's he trying to tell me (besides wanting to have sex with me and is afraid to ruin our friendship).

Could someone help me out. I don't understand men's language.

Larken85 · Mar 19, 2010, 02:44 AM

He wants you to have sex with him but he wants to consider your feelings too. Or he is pulling the sly guy and is saying he doesn't want to have sex so that you want to have sex. And I have to ask, why stress about this? Is it you that want to have sex with him? I wonder. If you do not want sex with him than its pretty much final. You shouldn't have sex with someone just to have sex (in my opinion.)

coffeebaby · Mar 19, 2010, 02:53 AM

OK thanks. Yeah I didn't mention that I have some feelings for him. And yes I actually thought of having sex with him (but he doesn't know). He;s just blabbing away I don't know what's his deal. Specially the part where he mentioned he Doesn't WANT TO SEX OTHERS.

Larken85 · Mar 19, 2010, 02:56 AM

Yeah yeah, he wants you. Why don't you just... how old are you two?

coffeebaby · Mar 19, 2010, 03:03 AM

As in.. He wants my body huh... yeahhhh why don't we... well I think I am afraid too o.o... don't want to lose him! I'm also afraid that I might fall for him after sex or something. I might act tough when let him sex someone else after me but I might suffer. You get it? Tehe. I'm 21, he's 22.

Larken85 · Mar 19, 2010, 03:09 AM

Hmmm, it all depends. I personally don't think you can be friends only with a person you've had sex with. I just think there will always be that desire to have that person or the jealousy when they have another. If the friendship is too valuable to you I say do not act on the desire. If you think there could be a good relationship there I would say take him into your arms and get down to business. There is obviously a lot of sexual tension there. I'd personally relieve that tension long and hard as quickly as possible. (Rock his world)

coffeebaby · Mar 19, 2010, 03:14 AM

hahahhah rock his world. Well... hmmmhmm maybe I should just let him find a chick or two to sex with, or more. Then when I can't take it anymore I'd either SEX HIM or just think he;s a bastard and my best friend so I should never touch him. Hey u gv me an idea TO TEST HIM. Yeaaaayy.. tq =p

Larken85 · Mar 19, 2010, 03:30 AM

Uh oh what have I done lol

SimpleguyJoe · Mar 19, 2010, 06:26 AM

It almost sounds like he is trying to guilt or play you into it, he says he thinks that you two are close, he thinks of you as a sister. Obviously that's not the case in my opinion, it's just an in or something similar. Or he could possibly just be at a loss for what to do in the situation. He might be attracted to you at a romantic level and just does not want to progress your relationship for distance reasons or simply put, does not know how.

You really just have to look at the situation a little more. Do you know for a fact that he is not involved with other girls? You said yourself he is not currently living near you, so I would assume you would have a hard time keeping track of who he is involved with. From what you said it honestly sounds like he has more romantic feelings than platonic and possibly does not know how to express them without getting hurt.

Then again who knows, you know this guy better than us. If you think a casual sex relationship with no strings is best for you two then go for it. It's always also possible to just ask him outright what he honestly thinks of you.

P.S. I would suggest not testing him in some weird way, guys don' really like that and it will probably end in a way you did not expect/want.

CravenMorhead · Mar 19, 2010, 07:29 AM

I pretty much agree with Joe here.

I think there are a few things going on here. First he has romantic feelings for you. They're as plain as day, if I read your post right. Second, he is trying to (not so) subtly show you what a gentleman and what a good mate he is. He is doing this by the entire 'taking sex seriously' and he doesn't want sex but would have it with you.

He is also testing the waters to see what your feelings are toward him. He wants to know if his feelings might be reciprocated. He basically wants to start a relationship with you but fears being rejected. He knows that you and him couldn't regress to a friendship if this goes south. He is not wanting to give up what he has to have a relationship that might cause everything to go bad.

Honestly it sounds like he is testing the waters to see where you want to go. So... where do you want to go? When you have that figured out, talk to him.

Synnen · Mar 22, 2010, 08:42 AM

Okay--the chat speak stops NOW.

If you are claiming an adult age, you can type full words and sentences as an adult.

You're lucky I was away this weekend, or you post would have been deleted out of hand for that much chat speak. You claim you don't understand men's language? Well, I don't understand childish chat speak.

Type as an adult.