[Hallowe1]

I've been with my girlfriend for many years. In the beginning I knew we would marry. We were on a path of moving into that. She moved in. As we grew closer she explored businesses that we were both interested in (fitness) and found something we both agreed on that we would work as a business together. I fronted money so she could invest in the business and get started. Then once it built up our dream was I could quit my job and work side by side.
She ended up spending the money on everything else but the business and when I confronted her with the status I was floored that she had deceved me and did not do what we agreed upon. After a breakup situation and her moving out. She pleaded to not break up I finally found forgivness. But honestly found I didn't trust her as I did before.
After months of struggling with this I started going out with my buddies more and honestly one day I found myself attracted to someone (coworker). The more I tried to convence myself that I wasn't attracted the more I became attracted. I'm looking back now and realize it was only infactuation but the damage had been done. I admitted to my girlfriend (because I wanted to be honest) about my feelings towards this other woman. I wanted to figure it out and move past it but she was hurt and ended up holding that against me.
Eventually she decided that if we were to continue that we needed to be married. She grew closer to her religious ways, stopped having intercorse with me and basically give me an ultimatum (marriage or she will be moving on). Right now I've set her free because I've always told myself after my first marriage not to get remarried if I have ANY reservations. Which I do... I don't believe she is mentally compatible, that we have enough in common (hobbies), or financially sound (connected to my financial goals).
She seems to have gone into a husband shopping mode. There is no future except marriage with her.
Honestly, beside the incapadibilities I mentioned. She would be a dream wife. She is a beautiful woman inside and out. We both have our faults but we've always seem to find a way to work through it. We have both hurt each other and have made bad decisions that kept the relationship from fluroushing.
She ask that I change a bit for to marry her as well. Most importantly to end ties with the ones that I call friends. I just don't know if that is a good idea...

Can you help?

[smoothy]

Go back and read what you said...

She wasted the money meant to invest in the business...

She isn't mentally compatible...

She wants you to cut off ties with YOUR friends...

She expects YOU to change... but she thinks she's perfect...

So... I have to ask... exactly how is she perfect again?

Get far away from this one... NOW.

There is nothing but heartache with a partner like that. Count your blessings you found out now BEFORE you got married.

[talaniman]

Forget the marriage, and its no solution for the many problems you have between you. It was a nice ride, but time to get off.

I would really examine your idea of PERFECT!!

[Gemini54]

It's over.

You've had your time with her, explored things in your relationship and now it's time to move on.

If you have doubts, listen to your intuition - she's not the one.