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    jaime90's Avatar
    jaime90 Posts: 1,157, Reputation: 163
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    #1

    Mar 13, 2010, 10:06 AM
    Sex toys, and anxiety
    So, a week or so ago, I told my fiancé that while he is away for weeks and months on end, I get aroused and masturbation isn't very satisfying. We're also trying to abstain, and it's proving to be very tough. He went right out and got me a vibrator, in hopes that I could play with it and be sexually satisfied while he's away, and to take the edge off when I get aroused, in order to, hopefully get to the point of abstaining completely from sexual intercourse.

    All week I've been playing with it. It feels amazing, and it's free fun for me. I'm not sure, though, if it's healthy to spend hours on end, finding the most quick ways to orgasm with a vibrator. Is it okay that I orgasm so quickley and so many times? I'm a little afraid that because it feels so good, that sexual intercourse will become unappealing to me. I'm worried that the vibrator will turn out to be way more satisfying than sex. And when I have sex with my fiancé, that I will just turn around when we're done and play with the vibrator.

    Any thoughts on ways to ease my anxiety?
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Mar 13, 2010, 12:27 PM

    Jaime you could be right about your vibrator. You will become so accustomed to the vibrator and what it does for you, that having sexual intercourse with your b/f will not be entirely satisfactory. It s the same with men masturbating, they get so used to the satisfaction and knowing how to do it for themselves, that when they finally have to perform they cant.

    However, vibrators used as sexual stimulation between two people is actually a good thing.

    Don't fall into that pattern, as women we are much better then that ! Right !

    Ms tick
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
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    #3

    Mar 13, 2010, 02:09 PM
    Jaime, let the novelty wear off. It's a new toy that you are having fun playing with. It isn't your boyfriend and it can't make you feel the way he does.

    I have several toys and to be honest I very rarely even think about them. They don't have the same feel as flesh and blood. I find climaxing with my husband much more satisfying than climaxing with a vibrator. The vibrator may make it easier, but it doesn't have the build up or emotions attached to it.

    Have fun, but don't make the vibrator any better than it is. :)

    Edited to fix typo
    Gemini54's Avatar
    Gemini54 Posts: 2,871, Reputation: 1116
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    #4

    Mar 13, 2010, 03:33 PM
    Jamie, if you want to play with your vibrator - by all means do it!

    I've been using a vibrator on my own and with my partner for years - trust me it doesn't replace sex!

    It's great for a quick, intense release on your own and it's really good to get you over the edge if you're having problems climaxing with a partner.

    I wouldn't get too hung up about it - as Cat says, it's just another toy - use it when you need it or include it in your sex play.

    If you're into experimenting with it at the moment - then enjoy. And be thankful you have such a lovely fiancée!

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