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Ravenge · Mar 10, 2010, 08:18 PM

Okay, so I have that anglophone friend (I'm french.. but I can talk english.. and she can talk in french.. well we are in that program to learn our second language) that I met 2 months ago. We are in a program that let us see each others all the evenings and morning, and all weekends with other people too in the house. She has a boyfriend for about 3 years and a half now. She basically call him each days since the beginning of the program. Even though, she was attract by me and so am I.. Since the second week we began seeing more each others. When we were alone, I never made the first steps because I knew she had a boyfriend.. so she made the first step.. like playing with my hand to make me hold it and stuff... she was cuddling my legs under the table with hers.. and stuff... more and more every day.. she still called her boyfriend every day and made sigh when she needed to call him. We went to the cinema and then at the half of the movie, her boyfriend keep texting her so she made a big sigh and went outside to talk to him.. 5-10 minutes later, she came back in and began to make first steps.. after 10 minutes until the end of the movie, we were cuddling and touching ourselves.. Back outside of the cinema, she hugged me while walking and made me stop on the bridge, and she kissed me. So we went back to the house cuddling and kissing.. and went to our bed ( touching or relationship is not permitted in the house). So the next few days after she tried to ignore me but all the times we were alone, I was like a magnet to her like she said, and she was not able to hold herself.. so she stop flirting with me for 3 days to think about the situation.. and then we went outside together trying to talk about this.. and then she cuddled again and we end up kissing in the woods.. the day after before going to bed lights off when everyone was asleep we kissed a lot and strongly for about 1 hour and a half.. and that was it.. the next day she had to talk with me and she said that she had to choose between her boyfriend and me.. so I talked a lot with her, and she ended up choosing her boyfriend.. so all I could do is trying to say all I felt about this and what I thought.. the only thing she had to say was I sorry, I really like you.. but I love me.. he said he would change.. I told him that we kissed and he forgave me.. but she didn't tell him that it was more than 1 time and that the flirting was more than a month... so now we are friend.. best friend in the house.. its really hard for me caus I really love her.. so now I wonder what I could do.. some people says that she used me.. some other people says that she decided to stay with her boyfriend only because it's a stable relationship.. the thing is that she is from Nova Scotia, and I am from Quebec.. and I wouldn't care to move... now I can't stop thinking of what all happened in the month and the best thing that could happen for me is to have her like before.. some times she even said that she wanted to sleep with me, that she had butterflies when kissing, and that she felt really relaxed when with me.. help me please! Il'l be with her and 9 other people until June 30th.

AmericanGirl01 · Mar 11, 2010, 02:45 PM

If she wanted to be with you, then she would be. She is still with her boyfriend though. It sounds to me like perhaps she just enjoys the attention from you and it makes her feel good.

Do you want something more from her? What makes you think if you were her boyfriend she wouldn't do the same thing to you?

I think you need to let this girl go, I doubt she is going to break it off with her boyfriend for you. She wants a little fun (you) but also stability (her bf) Bad news.

Cyberstar · Mar 11, 2010, 06:35 PM

She cheated on her boyfriend. You didn't mind because it was with you and you have feelings for her, but her actions speak volumes about what she's capable of.

She was trying to explore her options and leading you both on. Maybe there really is chemistry or attraction present, but she's now made her decision clear. Sorry, but you were used, and it would be wisest to keep your distance from her for the next 3 months.

jmjoseph · Mar 11, 2010, 06:40 PM

She has a boyfriend. She cheated with you, and she STILL has a boyfriend. She chose HIM.

If someone will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.

Don't waste your time.

talaniman · Mar 12, 2010, 10:30 AM

So tell me why it makes sense to want to be with a liar, and cheater?

Ravenge · Mar 12, 2010, 03:01 PM

It's true, but I can understand her in some ways.. I know I should just leave her.. but it doesn't make any sense to me.. we talked about that cheating and liar stuff.. she didn't even understand herself that's why she was holding it back most of the times.. Maybe I'm just searching for answers that would please me.. caus she's the perfect girl for me.. in any ways.. she still told her BF about that.. I'm half minded right now but thanks for these answer.. my life is just all messed up right now!

mommasmom · Mar 12, 2010, 04:35 PM

Bottom line is if she wanted you she would have left him . Also everyone is right how could you ever trust someone who started the relationship by lying in the relationship she was in don't bother wasteing your time find a good woman

Homegirl 50 · Mar 12, 2010, 04:44 PM

Messing around with you while she has a boy friend is the first sign that this young lady is selfish. She has little regard for her boyfriend because she's cheating on him and little regard for you because she has no problem playing with your heart.
Use your head young man (the upper one) this girl is bad news!

jaime90 · Mar 13, 2010, 10:19 AM

There are other fish in the sea- ones that don't lie, ones that don't cheat. Ones that truly want to be with you for who you are. That's who you deserve.

By messing around with a girl who has a boyfriend, you are basically saying "it's okay to fool around with women that aren't 'availible', and I will enable them to go behind their boyfriend's, or husband's backs, and blatantly lie." This is extremely disrespectful to her and her boyfriend. And obviously, she thinks it's okay to cheat as it is.

You need to leave, and leave this one to rest. Tell her that you will no longer allow her to give you attention outside the realms of a friendship, and leave it at that. If she can't deal with that, she doesn't much respect you.

JustAguy1 · Dec 19, 2011, 04:45 PM

I'm in the same predicament. I know exactly how you feel. This girl that I really like has a boyfriend who is my friend. Her and I were really attracted to each other to the point where she tried break up with my friend for me. But in the end she wrote me this long email saying that she's going to stay with her boyfriend (my friend) even if it was not a stable relationship. In a way I've learned from this experience with her. Attraction is something that is hard to resist, but there are always consequences to it. Her and I decided that we should try to be friends (its really tough though; I could see that she still has feelings for me when we talk and how she would flirt sometimes (flicking her hair or glare at me when we talk). Its tough but I think it's only best if you steer clear from her. I told her that we can't be friends because things would get awkward when my friend is around. Soon, her boyfriend was starting to get suspicious about me and her. So, I just like you is going to try to avoid her. These girls aren't worth the effort for, even if they seem very attractive and sweet. In the end they choose their boyfriends over you. Me and you were just in the wrong situation at the wrong time and was just hoping for something epic between girls we like.

It'll get easier as time goes by just move on and avoid this girl.