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faeriechild · Mar 10, 2010, 07:05 PM

One of my good friends and I have started to hang out again and I realized I have a HUGE crush on him. I am only young. I like him but am afriad to make the frist move. Sometimes I think it could work out but other times I think I could hurt my other friend HIS best friend who might have a crush on him. PLEASE HELP ME I am confused and starting to have douts on everything about our friendship. We were OK friends last year but started to hang out more and I realized how I feel. I am scared because it could ruin our friendship and my other friendships because my friends are his friends.:confused: I need help badly.

Larken85 · Mar 11, 2010, 07:56 PM

I suggest talking to the other friends about this. If you tell them in an open communication they should tell you whether it is OK with them. If they don't mind then go for it. You will not ruin the friendship with the guy unless you go out and it ends badly. And keep in mind that a bad ending could split the friends down the middle. If you do break up later on you need to make sure it is a very soft break up. Make sure everything is OK and help him out. You may even be able to stay friends with him that way. Of course then again there is always the chance that he will break your heart and you will try to make the friends choose sides. DON'T DO THIS. Its not fair to the friends (believe me I was one of those friends.) Back to the friends, if your friends are not OK with you seeing him then try a little to convince them. Don't push it super hard but just try a little. And if they do not want you to see him... and you really can't not date him, then tell them that that is what you are going to do and if they are really your friends that they will forgive you.
This is all of course in the theory that he will say yes. But do not be afraid to make the first move, if he hasn't already then he is probably looking for you to anyway if he is interested at all. Besides, guys get all big headed when you ask them out and it'll make him feel good whether you get the guy, you'll have at least boosted his confidence. (don't let it depress you, he isn't the only guy out there if he says no and he is certainly not the last guy you'll ever meet.)

Clough · Mar 11, 2010, 10:31 PM

Hi, faeriechild!

How old are you and he, please?

Thanks!

faeriechild · Mar 13, 2010, 05:14 AM

We are both in our teens

jaime90 · Mar 13, 2010, 09:50 AM

Do you want a serious relationship, or do you just want to date for the experience? You are very young to be thinking about a serious relationship.

I suggest toning it down a bit, and consider going out with him, just for the experience. Crushes come and go. There is nothing wrong with having a crush on a good friend... think about it, at least you didn't post something like this: "I have a crush on a total stranger."

If you feel like you don't want to dramatize things, why not just stay really good friends? All the benefits of a relationship without the physical and emotional involvement... and without risk of total heartbreak. You definitely have to take every doubt into consideration- if you have doubts, suck it up, push them aside, and go for it, or trust your instincts.

Either way, just sit back, relax, and pay attention to his character traits and behaviors... ask yourself if he would make a good partner. (remember, that if you want to be in a relationship with him for the long run, you're not just looking for a date, you're looking for MARRIAGE material. If you do decide to get into a serious relationship with him, you'll either marry him, or break up with him. There is no other option.)

Choose wisely, hun. There's nothing wrong with dating a good friend- (you want to marry your best friend one day right?) But nobody can guarantee that your friendship will remain in tact, except for the two of you. If you decide to ask him out, make sure you state your concerns about keeping the friendship in spite, and hopefully he will be on the same page.