[addicted13]

K, been friends with this girl for a while and always had a crush on her. I had a girlfriend so there was nothing I could do about it at the time. There was a time that she wanted to go out with me but couldn't because I had the girlfriend. I no longer have this girlfriend but my friend says that she will not go out with me now because she believes me to be a player. Can't really argue with that but things happen. Does anyone have any ideas on how I can go about changing her mind? Thanks.

[CarrotTalker]

What do you think you did to make her think you were a player?

The only way to possibly change her mind is simply take it slow and relaxed.

[addicted13]

What do you think you did to make her think you were a player?

Well, my girlfriend that I had at the time lived in another city hours away and we didn't see each other very often so we kind of had a thing that we could do whatever we wanted. So I went out with a few different girls but nothing serious. I chose not to go out with my friend because I knew that if I did it could become serious and that would cause problems. So yeah, I brought it all upon myself and regret some of my decisions but I can't go back and do it all over again.

[dontknownuthin]

I think she's telling you that she's a first class girl and you have low standards, for both yourself and the girls you date. Raise your game starting with your own behavior not only toward girls but in terms of your commitment to all the important things in life. Be very selective about girls, and treat them like respectable women. When you raise your game, you raise your value to women.

[I wish]

Face the consequences of your actions.

Learn from your mistakes. Don't do it again.

As for your friend, she'll have to change her mind about you naturally. You can't force her to change.

[CarrotTalker]

I agree with dontknownuthin. She saw your behavior when you were in a committed relationship. What self respecting woman would want to be with that?

[faeriechild]

Don't listen just take a chance. Who knows mayb she likes you but does not want to admit it. Take the chance.

[CarrotTalker]

Don't listen just take a chance. Who knows mayb she likes you but does not want to admit it. Take the chance.

He already tried and she turned him down.

[talaniman]

Its her loss, move on! Just keep it friends.

[jaime90]

Trying to change her mind is disrespect to the highest degree. It shows immaturity on your part, it is controlling and manipulative. You cannot change how she feels, and you shouldn't try. Do you want to make this woman change her mind, or do you want her to like you and date you by her own free will?

[gerbil13]

Trying to change her mind is disrespect to the highest degree. It shows immaturity on your part, it is controlling and manipulative. You cannot change how she feels, and you shouldn't try. Do you want to make this woman change her mind, or do you want her to like you and date you by her own free will?

Actually, great advice here...

[addicted13]

actually, great advice here.......

x2 :d

[addicted13]

K, here's an update... Decided to forget about anything happening between us and was just being friendly and not trying so hard anymore. Went to a party the other night, she showed up so I went over and talked to her for a bit and then went back to the circle of friends I was with and kept chatting with them. Later that evening she wanted to know why I wasn't out dancing with them, so I went out and danced and yes I really enjoyed when a slow song would come on :-). Cut to the chase (literally) when we left we held hands back to the car and finally kissed. After the kiss, kind of seemed like in a panic, she abruptly said "I gotta go" and kept repeating it. I asked why but she just repeated "I gotta go". So now I'm a little confused on what she meant by that, I'm hoping that its not because she regretted her actions but that's what I keep thinking...

[talaniman]

Maybe she just had to go. Why be confused over that? Yeah I know, your just fishing and hoping for anything that says you are the one. Sheeeez, it could have been gas for all the worry your having.

Yeah she regretted it. That's obvious, she didn't want to give you a kiss. The rest is whatever goes on in her mind, and the last thing you need is to be confused because your grasping at anything that looks like the straw of hope. It probably was gas.

[I wish]

How old are you?

I'm sure knows that she confused you, so it's up to her to explain herself.