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whattagirl · Mar 6, 2010, 02:59 PM

Let's start with that I haven't been official with this guy for long but we did date for a month or so before he asked me to be his girlfriend. My best friend set us up and now they are best friends and spend more time then I do with him. He always talks about her and how they are best friends and how they tell each other everything and same with her she always tells me that he tells her everything and how close they are and it REALLY hurts me. They always leave me out and I feel like he is dating her more then me. Everyone including my family thinks that their dating rather then us being togethor. I try to be there for him and he just shuts me out. I don't know what to do. I asked him about it and he just said they were just best friends but don't you think I should be his best friend? Considering I AM his girlfriend. The other girl is my best friend too. But she told me today that when she was hanging out with him (yet again without me) his dad told them they would make a cute couple and should be togethor and his dad knows he is with me. Should I be worried? I try not to think about it but it bothers me so much. I really like him and don't want to lose him. HELP!

ohsohappy · Mar 6, 2010, 03:03 PM

How old are you?

whattagirl · Mar 6, 2010, 03:04 PM

Im 16 and he is 17.

ohsohappy · Mar 6, 2010, 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by whattagirl

Im 16 and he is 17.

Move on, keep your friendship and tell him that you don't think that it will work. Find someone you can spend time with, and not feel like you're being nudged out by your best friend. You're still young, and if your friendship is more important than your short-term relationship, then do the right thing for everyone and move on. I have a feeling that you see what everyone else sees, and you don't want to admit it. And I have a feeling that you'll just continue to be jealous until there is a huge dramatic blow-up between all three of you, and have neither of them at your side. If they're as close as you say they are, you're not going to get between their "friendship" so here's the deal, you haven't been dating that long, don't keep letting yourself feel this way. I PROMISE, there are guys out there that you won't have to compete with your best friend for.

Maybe the three of you can become best friends, and you'll have your own boyfriend. But the way I see it, you're not doing yourself any favors, so just cut your losses.

whattagirl · Mar 6, 2010, 03:19 PM

Yeah I thought of that its like I think that when I'm not with him but then when its just me and him I want to be with him. He tells me all the time how much he likes me but I don't know if he is just trieing to convince himself. Because his best friend likes my best friend as well. So its like a lose lose situation all the way around.

Cyberstar · Mar 6, 2010, 04:10 PM

You say you really like him and don't want to lose him - what do you really like about him? Certainly not his behaviour, and that seems to be a huge problem. It sounds like you are struggling too much to force something that doesn't fit, and it's a one-sided, losing battle.

And for the record, if she cared about your feelings and wanted to be considerate, your friend should not have repeated that line said by your boyfriend's dad, especially if she knows how you're feeling already.

This is a good experience in finding out what you want in a relationship AND in a friendship, what you will or will not tolerate, and what kind of boundaries you set for yourself. Don't put yourself through this emotional rollercoaster any longer than you have to. Go back to being friends.

myopinion. · Mar 6, 2010, 04:39 PM

Talk to him! Communication is very importand in a relationship. Tell him how you feel. Ask questions. Ask if he likes her more than a best friend. Would he rather be with you or her. Ask if he can not hangout with her alone or without you. Or to hang out with you more than he does hangout with her.

Gemini54 · Mar 6, 2010, 04:49 PM

Doesn't sound as if either of these people care about your very much! Your BF hangs out with your best GF and they ignore you?

Well, if they make such a cute couple, I'd back off and let them have each other. Clearly they like each other more than they like you.

Yea, it's hard - but somehow you've chosen a GF and a BF that don't respect your feelings and you're letting them hurt you by allowing the situation to continue.

Let your BF know you're rather spend time with someone that makes you their priority. And, perhaps focus on some of your other GF's - this one certainly hasn't got your best interests at heart!

ohsohappy · Mar 6, 2010, 06:05 PM

Originally Posted by whattagirl

Yeah I thought of that its like i think tht when im not with him but then when its just me and him i want to be with him. He tells me all the time how much he likes me but i dont know if he is just trieing to convince himself. because his best friend likes my bestfriend as well. so its like a lose lose situation all the way around.

If you doubt it when you're not with him, then that's a BIG flag that you should just walk away. Don't lose your friens over this. You're only 16, believe me when I tell you that you're going to have feelings for other guys in the future as well. He's just another one. You'll be fine.

talaniman · Mar 7, 2010, 11:41 AM

they are best friends and spend more time then I do with him.

I am confused how your g/f can spend so much time with your b/f, and she has a b/f herself. Why is that so?

AlwysConfezzled · Mar 7, 2010, 02:53 PM

I feel the same, my situation is similar, only we are a few years younger. Talk to them about it, like tomorrow if you can.

That is my plan for me, hope it applies to you.

Good luck, and remember that as the fairy tales say(I know life isn't a fairy tale) True love conquers all.

whattagirl · Mar 11, 2010, 09:57 AM

I broke up with him! He told me he thought he wanted a girlfriend but he doesn't anymore. He really didn't have feelings for me. Im so relieved to be out of that relationship! But yet again I'm really hurt. Thank you guys for your advice it all worked out.

ohsohappy · Mar 11, 2010, 04:44 PM

Originally Posted by whattagirl

I broke up with him! He told me he thought he wanted a girlfriend but he doesnt anymore. He really didnt have feelings for me. Im so relieved to be out of that relationship! but yet again im really hurt. Thank you guys for your advice it all worked out.

SEE! You did good! It's only your pride that's hurt sweetheart, you'll feel better in no time. I'm proud of you!