[HeartTrips]

I haven't had a problem in the past that I know of but I am in a new relationship that is progressing to the point of being sexual and I know that my new partner has had well endowed men in the past and I know that my 6 inch length and 4.7 inch girth may be a problem because it is small girth, she has told me that size doesn't matter it's the motion of the ocean but I am a little nervous... should I be?

[Synnen]

If she says you shouldn't--why aren't you believing her?

Size isn't everything.

[Alty]

It's not the size of the stick, it's the magic in the wand.

I've been with very large guys and very small, what counts is the time he takes, knowing a woman's body, foreplay. The actual penetration isn't the major turn on, it's what he does before that really sets the mood and the tone, at least for me.

You're average, so why worry?

[Fr_Chuck]

I have to wonder the age of the poster, most men know size has nothing to do with it, outside of bragging in the high school shower room.

No two ladies are satisfied exactly the same way, so communication on what each likes is most important.

And as noted, it is the foreplay that really does the job

[HeartTrips]

I have a fear of the size and shape of my penis.

Its crooked and bent and not a lot of girth.

I have a fear of getting naked with a woman because I fear she will reject me and I believe that was a big part of why I really messed up my last relationship.

I feel l ike it defines me even though I know that is crazy.

Is this normal? Is there anything I can do about it?

Should I worry so much?

[J_9]

How old are you?

[HeartTrips]

29


I really have a fear about it. I know I shouldn't and I'm going to do my best not to have that fear, but it really is hard cause I am very self conscious about something I know I shouldn't be.

[J_9]

Nope, no need to be self conscious about it. Sometimes, if bent in the right direction it gives a woman very special stimulation.

It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean. I'm sure you've heard that before.

[HeartTrips]

I've just struggled with this insecurity for so long,

I also always find that I will be compared to guys who are bigger,

I struggle with the fact that they will find me to small/skinny, not enough girth,

It kills me because I believe it was the main reason I screwed up a relationship with a woman who really liked me a lot and showed me love like no one ever has.

[J_9]

Well, think about it. If a guy has a rather large girth, don't you think it's going to hurt the woman?

We don't care about the size of the penis, we care about what you can DO with the penis.

[JudyKayTee]

I don't understand who is comparing you - you've been with women who have compared you to other men? Or you are comparing yourself?

I never found penis size to be a factor in any direction (good, bad, indifferent) and I agree with J9.

In a loving relationship I don't think it matters.

How did your insecurities destroy your last relationship?

[HeartTrips]

I was afraid to do anything with her in fear of being rejected. This led me to missing opportunities to proceed further into the relationship. I then started making mistakes with my money, 8 months later I tried to come clean about my financial matters and all hell broke loose. She had made it loud and clear early on in the relationship that I should take her physically not to mention emotionally. I didn't want to lose her so I never did anything physical. I couldn't even bring myself to kiss her. My physical insecurites led me to many other problems where I couldn't be natural in anything I did. I broke her heart and put her through misery in our time together. I couldn't even see how loud and clear it was that she liked me a lot. I had never been with a woman who was as beautiful as her and who knew what she wanted so clearly. I had never been in a relationship where we got along so well. We enjoyed so many of the same things and doing them together. It wasn't until after she broke up with me that I began to see how passive and unopen I was. Half of it was because I was scared she would reject me when we became sexual and half of the problem was I let my financial affairs become a huge mess. I really have beat myself up hard over this these last five months because its hard to meet women now a days, and I had met a woman who I had waited for, for so long and she was everything I wanted but because I couldn't see things clearly I did myself in bad.

Now its like I don't know how I will meet somebody as good and loving as she was to me, and how I can explain how I screwed my life up so bad the last 12 months.

I am working on getting my financial affairs in order and I have been working on myself these l ast five months even while I have been mentally beating myself up.

[Wondergirl]

How have you been working on yourself?

[Alty]

We can tell you that it doesn't matter, but it's up to you to work this out. The fact is, it really doesn't matter, and any woman that compares you to another man is not a woman to spend any time on.

I've been with men that are huge, and men that are below average. I can honestly say that size really doesn't matter.

There are many ways to pleasure a woman, and the size of your penis is the furthest down on that list.

Be confident in yourself because you really have no reason not to be.

If a girl compares you to another guy, walk away, she's not a keeper anyway.

[HeartTrips]

I have been working on communication, I have bought books and have read them and am practicing them, I have bought 30 books in the last since April, books to help me understand communication, boundaries, myself, integrity, my past, spirtuality. I have instead of staying home and sulking I ventured into my city(toronto) and have tried to familiarize myself with it. I got into a church group to help me learn to connect with others better, although I have stopped going for about 2 months now. I had kept going to church for the first few months, although I stopped 2 months ago. I have been working on my financial affairs these last 6 weeks, really trying to get on budget and start saving.

At this time last year I had my own apartment, my car was on the road. I would like these things back but also to stay on budget and save money at the same time and still have a outside life. It's a slow process but it is moving forward.

I have had a fear of the dentists but this too I am working on. I have an appointenment scheduled tommmorow, this is a huge step for me.

I really have been studying what true honesty is and empathy, and learning to love myself better.

I have read a lot on physcology, 1 doctor in particular. I have five of his books.

Im working more hours at work and trying my best.

Dealing with how badly I messed up the last year is really hard, with the girl, with my own affairs, with money. This is hardest for me.

I hate not having the girl, my apartment, a budget, my car.

I hate knowing I had all these things last year but because I wasn't sure of myself and I had insecurites and have insecurites is the hardest.

I really beat myself up over how I screwed up the last year, hurting her and myself.

[Enigma1999]

ive just struggled with this insecurity for so long,

I also always find that I will be compared to guys who are bigger,

I struggle with the fact that they will find me to small/skinny, not enough girth,

it kills me becasue i believe it was the main reason i screwed up a relationship with a woman who really liked me alot and showed me love like no one ever has.

This just shows me that she really cared about you and that your size wasn't a concern of hers. It was a concern of yours.

So right there, that should tell you that she was with you for you. Not your man hood.

This is something that you are just going to have to get over. If a woman doesn't like you for you, well then you don't want her any way.

There are many women out there who don't mind penis sizes. As J9 said, it's not size, it'show it is used.

[Allie602]

You had a beautiful girl in a relationship with no sexual contact yet she stayed with you and waited for you to be ready. Did you read what you wrote? You had a beautiful woman who was so attracted to you that she waited for you to take her sexually - she didn't leave - she could have - but she stayed with who? YOU. So now we have to figure out what is so special about you that a women would devote so much time and effort to be around you waiting for you to move off the dime.

I am going to leave that to you - tell us what are the qualities that kept this well put together woman in your life? Make it an accurate list. I am not interested in what you think you don't have, you wrote about that ad infinitum. I want to know what she saw in you. I trust the judgment of a good woman she not waste time with losers. So show me what you got.

You had them once and you will get them again only this time you will have them with conviction that you deserve good and will not self - sabotage.

[mrshodges]

She did not leave because you had no money. She left because you refused to be intimate and you lied.

[simoneaugie]

I hear a man who is concerned about the opinions of others. What will the world think if I fail at...

Maybe it's just me, but if a man is able to help me have orgasms, and is kind. I don't care at all about the size or shape of his penis or how financially successful he is.

Some women were raised in a way that demands a lifestyle dependent on money. If you are able to make a lot of money, life is easier in general but a financially dependent woman is just that, dependent.

[HeartTrips]

You had a beautiful girl in a relationship with no sexual contact yet she stayed with you and waited for you to be ready. Did you read what you wrote?? You had a beautiful woman who was so attracted to you that she waited for you to take her sexually - she didn't leave - she could have - but she stayed with who? YOU. So now we have to figure out what is so special about you that a women would devote so much time and effort to be around you waiting for you to move off the dime.

I am going to leave that to you - tell us what are the qualities that kept this well put together woman in your life? Make it an accurate list. I am not interested in what you think you don't have, you wrote about that ad infinitum. I want to know what she saw in you. I trust the judgment of a good woman she not not waste time with losers. So show me what you got.

She saw a guy who wouldn't let anything stop him. She saw a guy who could take care of himself. A guy who was sure of himself. She saw a guy who wasn't a fool and rush into things. She saw a really smart guy. Someone who was very positive and who could look at the brighter side of things. She saw a guy who was fun and was ready to go, try anything. She saw a guy who knew he was good in bed. She saw a guy who wasn't afraid to stand out from the rest. She saw a lot of confidence. She saw a guy who knows what he wants. She saw a guy who was also spirtual. She saw a guy she could confide in and who would be there for her. She saw a guy who understood.

Unfortuantely I just wasn't ready. It hurts to have everything I wanted in a woman and lose it.


I was so confused, It was weird because as soon as she broke up with me, I changed on impact, and instead of giving her the distance she wanted I pushed and pushed, fighting so hard to try and hold onto everything I ever wanted, everything that was so special to me and her. I let her down, I let me down.

Its hard seeing how I will ever love like that again or receive a love like that again.

I understand I can't make it about me anymore, that I just have to realize this is just life. BUT wow, talk about not easy.