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Natt420 · Feb 20, 2010, 09:52 PM

I went out with my boyfriend for very close to a year. We were madly in love with each other, and we treated each other very good. Out of no where he started basically ignoring me, ditching me and being defensive (nothing led to it, it just randomly happened) for about a week. Thinking it was my fault, I tried my best to be the best possible girlfriend I could be. Yet, even with that, after a week, he broke up with me saying that he didn't have the same feelings for me. It seems like a phase because it's just so random. There was no big event that caused this. It's been 3 weeks, I've already tried talking to him about it, and we fought a little. How do I get him back? How do I get him to remember how much he loves me and how I am a positive person in his life? Please help! I don't want to be without him, he means so much to me!

leifweaver · Feb 20, 2010, 10:49 PM

You are not going to like this advice, but you can almost never win someone back. People break up for all sorts of reasons that rarely have much to do with the person that they break up with. The BEST chance you have is to forget about him, and make yourself into the best person that you can be. Oddly, by becoming less self-involved, and by being more generous, more socially skilled, etc, he is more likely to realize that he had it good with you all along and come back to you. Think about that movie "groundhog day" Only when the guy gave up on trying to get the girl, and started working to help and please others, did he get the girl.

Good luck!

boyah · Feb 20, 2010, 11:07 PM

Take my advice: move on, and find someone else. The harder you try, the more you'll fail to win him back. He absolutely has no interest in you anymore. It's like buying milk at a grocery store and checking for the expiration date. He liked you, wanted you, taken you, and now he's dumped you. I'm not trying to be mean here, but you're now "spoiled and rotten" in his eyes, and it appears you're not the flavor of the month anymore. Women (and men) can have a certain amount of "shelf-life"--whether short-term or long-term. You're best bet is to learn from it, grow from it, and better yourself as a person, and I swear to you that the next man you'll find will see you so much more appealing, attractive, and desirable.

amicon · Feb 21, 2010, 02:09 AM

Sadly,there is no magic wand to get anyone back.

As it seems his feelings have changed,you should accept that its over and start getting over him.

Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page for more advice on how to handle a breakup.

sully123 · Feb 21, 2010, 04:57 AM

Sorry Nat, for your breakup. There is no magic potion to make him come back. No begging or pleading is going to work. He might have been thinking of breaking up for quite while now. I don't think it just came out of nowhere. He must have been thinking about it and had a change of feelings. I don't think its anything you did. The best thing for you to do is focus only on you and keep your distance and maintain NC. That would be for the best. You call him and chase him he is going to run the other way. If he cares enough about you, maybe he will miss you, but you need to give him time to think, and let him do his own thing. Work on you! Good luck.

talaniman · Feb 21, 2010, 12:50 PM

Leave the guy alone, as maybe you didn't see it coming, but he has been thinking of this break up for a while, and just now has the courage to do it.

He has issues,

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ed-391424.html

and whether that played a role in this know one can know, but what you do know is,

he dumped you,

his feelings have changed,

and you have to accept it, and move on.

Follow the advice of the other posters, and read the stickies, so you will know that break ups are not a phase, or a random event that just happens.